Happy Kwanzaa!

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Jon Hein is God, Dec 25, 2012.

  1. Jon Hein is God

    Jon Hein is God New Member

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  2. The Booey

    The Booey Member

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    Not a real holiday
  3. Chimney Portions

    Chimney Portions #TeahmGandhiStarver VIP

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    :brotha::boobily::dance::cake::dadance::dancin::ghp:



  4. hoodwink

    hoodwink Member VIP

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    [video=youtube;5CLZguLUf8A]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CLZguLUf8A[/video]
  5. Magnificent Mr. Hole

    Magnificent Mr. Hole Well-Known Member VIP

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    Every holiday is made up at some point.
  6. Biffa Bacon

    Biffa Bacon Member

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    agree with above. They are all Hallmark inventions to sell bullshit greeting cards. Want to wish me a Happy Birthday...suck my cock.
  7. Chimney Portions

    Chimney Portions #TeahmGandhiStarver VIP

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    True, but antiquity is usual a factor when it comes to national recognition. When Passover was accepted as a recognized holiday, less than 1% of Americans were Jews. But there was an undeniable tradition.

    There were more people who waited in line to see Star Wars Episode 1 than there are people who celebrate Kwanzaa. But if Somebody proposed that Episode Wunday become a recognized holiday, you'd likely laugh at the proposition.
  8. Ruffypup

    Ruffypup VIP Extreme Gold

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    We're going to party, Kwanzaa, fiesta, forever.
  9. Farticulator

    Farticulator New Member

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    How come Kwanza Claus always has a litlte bit of vomit in his beard and Courvossier on his breath?
  10. Vashier

    Vashier VIP Extreme Gold

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    It's in the same vain as my parents used to tell me when I asked why there was a father and mothers day but no kids day. "Every day is kids day" so goes Kwanzaa in my book.
  11. Vashier

    Vashier VIP Extreme Gold

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    "Here comes Kwanzaa clause here comes Kwanzaa clause right down Kwanzaa clause lane"
  12. balloon knot

    balloon knot Well-Known Member Gold VIP

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  13. Scott

    Scott Beach Bum VIP

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    And Whitey's on the moon.
  14. Keyser Soze

    Keyser Soze New Member Shot Dead

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    The Twelve Days of Kwanza

    "The Twelve Days of Kwanza"
    By SHIRLEY Q. LIQUOR
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    On the first day of Kwanzaa...
    my childrens axed me, "mamm, what is Kwanzaa for, anyway?"

    On the second day of Kwanzaa...
    some lady bothered me. I cursed her out and I say "no, I don't wan't no Olan
    Mills pictures and quit calling here!"

    On the third day of Kwanzaa...
    I went out to the store. I needed beer and cigarets but they was closed, so
    I smashed out the windows, did a drive-by and cursed em all out.

    On the fourth day of Kwanzaa...
    I turned on the t.v. Young and the Restless, All of My Children, One Day to
    Live, and then "Oprah" at 4 o'clock.

    On the fifth day of Kwanzaa...
    My check came in the mail. AFDC! "Thank you Lord" I said, "come on kids,
    let's go to the store for some collard greens, hamhocks and some cheese."

    On the sixth day of Kwanzaa...
    the police rang the bell. They served a warrant, I nearly passed out! But it
    wa ok, som woman had said I stole her wigs, but I told em all I was gonna
    give em back anyway.

    On the seventh day of Kwanzaa...
    I poured myself a drink. I drank 40 ounces, got really full then lost my
    mind. I drove down the street cursing out everyone I saw. Then I bashed the
    Cadilac upside a Dairy Queen.

    On the eighth day of Kwanzaa...
    I bought a TV Guide... not much had happened. I was hungover from a bad
    headache from Schiltz Malt Liquor Bull. I tried to stay home and be quiet,
    take my nerve pills... you can just feel Kwanzaa in the air.

    On the nineth day of Kwanzaa...
    I painted all my nails. Two shades of purple, one shade of turquoise,
    throwed on some glitter, did em up real nice... I had looked good! Then I
    drove on down to Popeye's, bought me some chicken and I stayed home and
    looked at t.v.

    On the tenth day of Kwanzaa...
    Shoplifting was the thing. 10 Now or Laters, 9 little candies, 8 cans of
    tuna fish, 7 little niknaks, 6 pack of Budweiser, 5 Lee Press-On Nails, 4
    pieces of gum, 3 large fries, 2 days back in jail... it was Kwanzaa, so what
    the hell?

    On the eleventh day of Kwanzaa...
    I got out on parole. I rolled a big joint, went down to church and talked
    all out of my head. Got happy and shouted, passed out and hollered. They
    called 911 and the Lord set me free! Gave my testimony, stepped on home,
    didn't even remember where I stayed, I woke up real hungry and confused.

    On the twelfth day of Kwanzaa...
    My childrens gathered around me. Lincoln, Alow vera, Gyne-Lotrimin,
    LemonJello, OrangeJello, Tinactin, Tempasia, KMartina, Fallopia, Shi'Thead,
    Shameka-Vonquishia, Salmonella, Chlamydia Champagne, Democtorius, Saskatoon,
    Cheeto and Skuketia...
    And it had really started to feel more like it was getting near Kwanzaa

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    [video=youtube;SAWQOqKU98I]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAWQOqKU98I[/video]
  15. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member

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    Lulz at the marriage of nig nogs and jewry . What a clusterfuck...or as I like to call it, "affirmative action".
  16. HS Cult Leader

    HS Cult Leader Elite Member Gold

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  17. Chimney Portions

    Chimney Portions #TeahmGandhiStarver VIP

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    [video=youtube;we2iWTJqo98]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we2iWTJqo98[/video]
  18. HowieStearn

    HowieStearn HateClub Hater VIP

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    its real- real fake.

    [​IMG]

    "On December 24, 1971, the New York Times ran one of the first of many articles on a new "holiday" designed to foster unity among African Americans. The holiday, called Kwanzaa, was applauded by a certain sixteen-year-old minister who explained that the feast would perform the valuable service of “de-whitizing” Christmas. The minister was a nobody at the time but he would later go on to become perhaps the premier race-baiter of the twentieth century. His name was Al Sharpton and he would later spawn the Tawana Brawley hoax and then incite anti-Jewish tensions in a 1995 incident that ended with the arson deaths of seven people."

    read more here: http://patdollard.com/2011/12/kwanz...premacist-obama-issues-statement-praising-it/
  19. Kool

    Kool Active Member

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  20. Vashier

    Vashier VIP Extreme Gold

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    "What's YOUR favorite color Tyrone?"

    "BLACK...CUZ BLACK is BEAUTIFUL!"

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