Segway inventor creates weight loss device that sucks food through a port in stomach

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by 2Manboobs, Jan 9, 2013.

  1. 2Manboobs

    2Manboobs New Member Shot Dead

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    Revolutionary inventor of the Segway has patented a new invention that could could potentially save the lives of morbidly obese food addicts ....


    "Help for people like this is on its way !!!"
    [​IMG][​IMG]




    Segway Inventor Patents A Gadget That Sucks Food Directly Out Through A Port In Your Stomach


    Eat anything you want, then remove some of it before it's digested.

    [​IMG]

    This is the good news about a recently-patented gadget that sucks food out of the stomach: it could work as a last-ditch effort to get obese people to shed some weight. This is the bad news about said gadget: the method might be a little extreme.

    AspireAssist, created by Segway inventor Dean Kamen and a team of bariatricians, works like this. A valve gets surgically implanted in the user's stomach, and the gadget sends a tube through it into their belly. About 20 minutes after eating, the gadget sucks out some food, and when the user squeezes a bag filled with water, the liquid gets sent back into the stomach instead. Rinse and repeat until up to 30 percent of your meal is gone. (There's no anesthesia involved, but some sedatives will be used along with it.) It's already available in some parts of Europe, but no FDA approval yet.

    Here's the word from the gadget's site:

    The aspiration process is performed about 20 minutes after the entire meal is consumed and takes 5 to 10 minutes to complete. The process is performed in the privacy of the restroom, and the food is drained directly into the toilet. Because aspiration only removes a third of the food, the body still receives the calories it needs to function. For optimal weight loss, patients should aspirate after each major meal (about 3 times per day) initially. Over time, as patients learn to eat more healthfully, they can reduce the frequency of aspirations.


    http://www.popsci.com/gadgets/artic...atents-gadget-sucks-food-directly-out-stomach






  2. Napoleon V

    Napoleon V New Member Shot Dead

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    That is really sad
  3. Cheri

    Cheri Hates the Pope VIP

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    Shiv, there's hope!
  4. 2Manboobs

    2Manboobs New Member Shot Dead

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    It brings hope to those who've previously had none ....
  5. tomtom

    tomtom New Member

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    Dan is losing weight and getting a lush head of hair on his own. All he needed was calcium.
  6. DogStar69

    DogStar69 Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like a stupid idea and it's gonna suck out stomach acids that you need to digest other food. Plus those tubes can easily get bacteria. and is that shit on the outside permanent? 30% doesn't help that much when you eat 15,000 calories a day.
  7. 2Manboobs

    2Manboobs New Member Shot Dead

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    Lying to cover up the shame & guilt of addiction is a common trait amongst addicts in the throws of their addiction .... I wouldn't believe it if I were you
  8. 2Manboobs

    2Manboobs New Member Shot Dead

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    Segway guy knows what he's doing.... Don't you think he had people telling him that there'd be no way one could scooter around on a two-wheeled device without falling on your face?
  9. DogStar69

    DogStar69 Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, those things really took off, I saw one in real life never.
  10. Cheri

    Cheri Hates the Pope VIP

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    Wow, are you saying this is a bad idea?

    [​IMG]
  11. tomtom

    tomtom New Member

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    but he said he's going to be an Adonis.
  12. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Employee of the Year 8 Years In A Row And Counting VIP

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    It's dishwasher safe.
  13. tomtom

    tomtom New Member

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    They have them in many major cities, you can rent them. They do tours on them and the technology is being used in many other things.

    Moobs is saying it worked.
  14. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Employee of the Year 8 Years In A Row And Counting VIP

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    Didn't that "genius" die on one of his Segways? I think he fell off a cliff or something. :jj:
  15. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Employee of the Year 8 Years In A Row And Counting VIP

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  16. nserafini

    nserafini Well-Known Member

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    Diet and exercise combined with portion control and a little self respect are all you need. I know my faults, and have been working on them.

    Do I fail, yes. But I keep going. People who even consider this should just die before they cost our health system to rent cranes to lift them out of their houses.
  17. tomtom

    tomtom New Member

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  18. 2Manboobs

    2Manboobs New Member Shot Dead

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    You must like in or near a ghetto... I see them regularly down by the beach... I also know two couples that have His & Hers Segways

    Dean Kamen was already a successful & wealthy inventor after inventing the first drug infusion pump.. and subsequently marketing it through his company (AutoSyringe)
  19. tomtom

    tomtom New Member

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    Dogstar, google "segway tour"
  20. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Employee of the Year 8 Years In A Row And Counting VIP

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