I went out to dinner with a friend of mine. She's in her fifties. And I was telling her I had just spent the day visiting Howard in the studio. And there was a room in his studio where advertisers and people send Howard the grossest sex toys... and videos... and I made the mistake of going into that room by accident... you know I had to take a shower afterwards, just disgusting. So I'm telling this to my friend and she said, 'you know, by any chance in that room, are there any extra dildos in there? I haven't been with a man in a while and I really wanted...'
Alright so, Howard said I could totally hook you up. So the next day Howard comes home with a brown paper bag filled with 15 dildos. So I decided to walk them over to my friends apartment, and I'm walking through Central Park, I have a little pink puppy sleeve dress on, and I'm parading through the park with... the dildos... and I get to Madison Avenue where my friend lives, and the bag broke, it ripped, and fifteen dildos... I was balancing them... like... so I picked them up and I get to her apartment... people are laughing and pointing, and I gave them to her. I was humiliated!
oh jesus, i can't bare to read any further. you win.