edit: no pics. sowwy.
i drove 430 miles today with my gf to get to our vacation destination. for some reason i thought that it was smart to eat a slim jim and a bottle of diet mountain dew for breakfast.
about 330 miles into the drive, we stopped at a roadside restaurant touting itself as making the best pie in the area. i had a rachel sandwich on cranberry wildrice bread with homemade potato chips. the food was good, but the second i sat down, that slim jim started fucking with me and i got really bad stomach cramps. the restaurant was hot and i had to listen to an old lady who sounded like a man talk about her new blood sugar meter, her diabetes, and how she often eats just half a cookie because "that's really enough to satisfy me."
i had stomach cramps for the remaining 100 miles. that 100 miles, diary, included multiple areas of road construction that limited driving to a single lane and we had to follow a guide car. when we finally checked in to our room, i took a massive dump and felt better. i laid down, opened the patio door, and took a nap with my lady while listening to waves lapping on the shore.
after we woke up, we took a steam shower and headed out to look for moose. we didn't see any, but we did see a fox. we headed back to town and went to a tavern and had baked brie with lingonberry jam, spicy dry rubbed wings, and my lady had a bowl of french onion soup with gruyere. my stomach got bad again and i took another dump. then i watched the us open. then i took another dump. then i read about gridman's new camera and looked at a picture of a everyday lady in a bikini.
my lady is rubbing my shoulder as i type this so i got a go and relax.
i hope my tummy feels better tomorrow, diary.