POSTED SEPTEMBER 18, 2013A Petition to Have GWAR Play the Super Bowl Currently Has 20,000 Signatures
BY LUKE WINKIE
Ah, the Super Bowl: great football, funny ads, and gallons of fake blood sprayed on you and your friends. Well, usually that last part isnít included, which is why the people of the internet have put together a petition to book everyoneís favorite Virginian thrash-metal rabble-rousers GWAR for the Super Bowl XLVIII halftime show.
ďThe time for GWAR to address the nation is NOW,Ē begins the proposal, which might be the most beautiful sentence ever created in the English language.
Right now the petition has 20,395 signatures, which is about 5 billion signatures short of having even a remote chance of working. Regardless, itís always great to see GWAR as the epicenter of a positive social movement. Finally, democracy we care about!
The halftime show this year is supposed to be Bruno Mars. I donít think you could find a more perfect opposite for GWAR than Bruno Mars. Maybe Mars could play the first five minutes, and then GWAR could come out and drain all of his blood as a sacrifice to Cíthulu? Iím just spitballing here.