Howard Stern Gets Engaged! 02/14/07. 6:00am
Howard started off the show talking about his computer being locked up and trying to get that fixed. Scott the Engineer was working on it and had it fixed within a few seconds of the show starting. Howard asked Robin why she didn't call him back last night. Robin said she was sleeping yesterday because she's sick. He said she never calls him back when he calls her. She said she just couldn't get out of bed.
Robin said that Howard doesn't think that she knows how to check her voice mail or even her e-mail. Robin said she heard her phone ringing but she didn't even get up to look at who was calling. She's still a little stuffy today.
Howard said he gave Beth a gift for Valentine's day and he wanted her to hear what it was so she could make fun of him. Artie had an idea of what he was about to say... The marriage word. Howard said he's the one who started the rumor. Artie started laughing at Howard so he told him to stop. He joked that he bought her a Pajamagram and that was it.
Artie said they have to play the tapes of him saying that he would never get married again. Howard said he knows but now he's just engaged, and he plans on staying engaged for 10 years. Howard made the official announcement that he is engaged so the guys were all goofing on him. Fred wanted to know if he had to get married to her. Howard said it wasn't like that, she's not pregnant.
Howard said he had a nice life and he's mad at her for doing this to him. He said she did say yes when he asked her. Gary came in and asked for the specs on the ring. Howard said that back around Christmas he started thinking about this and ended up going to this guy he knew to get the ring. He said that the guy was there at SIRIUS to help him out on the whole ring thing and Beth was scheduled to come down and do some stuff for Howard TV that day. He had to ask Doug Goodstein to reschedule her.
Howard said that their life is great together and he wasn't looking for a change but there are some people who treat her like she's his ''floozy'' or something like that. He said he kind of sees what goes on with certain people so this might help.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that he wishes him luck. Howard thought he was laughing at him because that's what it said on the computer screen. Dominic congratulated him on the engagement. Howard said that he's thinking of taking on Beth's last name because of the confusion with Howard K. Stern's name. Artie said that some people will get the story wrong and say that Howard K. Stern just got engaged.
Howard took a call from a guy who did laugh at Howard for getting engaged. He goofed on Howard about the whole thing. Howard went on to say that the whole thing was very romantic but Beth didn't break into tears or anything. That kind of thing has been over for years.
Howard took another call from Wolfie who said that he remembers back to 1999 when he said he would never get married again. He said it didn't take him long to change. Howard said it's been 8 years so it's been quite a while. Robin said that this has been going on for a couple of years now, it's not like it just happened.
Artie asked if he had a pre-nup in the works yet. Howard said they haven't gotten that far, but he will have one. Ronnie came in and offered to do the bachelor party for him. Howard said Ross already asked him when that's going to happen. He's still in shock over the whole thing.
Robin pointed out that Howard didn't feel up that chick who was in the studio yesterday. Howard said it would have been a bad idea to do that on the same day he was asking Beth to marry him. The guys were also talking about Beth getting pregnant and having a baby. Howard said that's just not going to happen but the guys said they can picture him walking the baby down the street in a stroller.
Howard said that stuff looks like complete torture to him and he can't imagine going through that. He said he's happy for his friends who have kids but he can't go through that again.
Howard said he called Beth's parents last night to let them know what was going on. He joked that he told High Pitch Eric too. Gary said that Beth told him at one point that she was going to be ''Mrs. Stern.'' Robin couldn't believe that she missed the call about this yesterday. Howard said he tried calling her twice yesterday and he never got through.
Howard got back to the story of how all of this came about. He was thinking about it back around Christmas. He was going through that when he saw he had a guy on the phone saying that he was an asshole for getting married. Howard said he's not married yet though. He said he's not ruining anything. The guy said there's nothing wrong with stability but they already have the stability. The guy said that the fans are going to slam him over this. Howard said the engagement is off then. He was just joking but he said he couldn't take the pressure.
Howard said that he really is shaken up. He was trying to tell the story but everyone was giving him a hard time. Artie asked him when he thought that he was going to get officially engaged. Howard said he still hasn't thought about it. He said he did talk to his kids about it about a year ago and has been thinking about it for a while now. It turns out he's not as much of a player as he thought he was going to be. He doesn't need to be married but he felt that there are people who think that it's not a real relationship because they weren't married. He said that Beth doesn't seem to care if they're married but he thought it would be a nice thing to do.
Howard said he spoke to this guy Richie about getting a ring. It was around Christmas but he didn't have time to get the ring done so he got Beth a necklace instead. The guy was surprised when he asked about a ring but they put it off until after the holidays. He said he's been looking at rings for a while now and he kind of knew what she liked.
Artie interrupted and got on his megaphone as Beth and said he was knitting baby booties. He also got on as Beth's mom and goofed on him. Howard said that was it, the engagement is off. Artie did some of his own Grandma Caprio impression before Howard could do it.
Howard tried to get into the details of the ring but he wanted to know if anyone else wanted to goof on him. He said he didn't talk to Fred last night but did speak to his wife. Howard asked Artie if he thinks that he's nuts for doing this. Artie said that he thinks the whole therapy thing helped him get to that point. He said he's been around people who are in awful relationships and Howard really got lucky finding this person. He'd like to bust his balls but he thinks that he's setting up a very happy ''rest of his life.'' Howard wanted to know if anyone thought it was a mistake. No one would say it was.
Howard said that they are engaged and planning to get married at some point. Artie said he thinks Howard is setting up a nice, relaxing future. He thinks it'll be a happy time for him when he retires. He'll have Beth and he'll be able to relax and vacation when he retires.
Sal came in and told Howard that he's very happy for him. Then he asked what happened to Beth saying that she never wanted to get married. Sal said that Howard is forcing her into it then. Howard said this was all his idea, she never demanded it from him. Howard said it's all his decision to go forward with it. Sal was laughing at Howard and wondering if Beth was going to want a baby. Howard said he told Beth that the baby thing isn't going to happen so Beth said that they might have to get divorced some day if she changes her mind about that.
Howard told Sal to get out of there. Sal told him that he's the one who will be in misery 10 years from now. He said that it's like Jekyll and Hyde. The guys asked Sal if he was coloring his beard because it looked kind of odd. Sal said he wasn't doing that and swore on the life of his kids he wasn't.
Benjy asked Howard if he knows what time it was that he did the engagement thing because he saw that Howard was writing about Scott DePace on their email system. Howard said it was before that and it was all over by then. He was back to work within a short amount of time.