I was just married and never even farted in front of my new wife, that being said, I was on my way to work with grey sweatpants on and came up to a red light and lifted a cheek and oops. Went back home humiliated trying to figure out how to hide this from my new wife. Of course she greets me at the door and say's "what stinks?" I had to tell her and I got changed and told her if work calls tell them I'm running late and on my way. Got to work and about 15 of my coworker's are in a meeting and the one guy asks "why you late? Being newly married I told them "I was getting a piece of ass" and they all start busting up laughing...My cunt ex wife told them I shit myself when they called to see where I was at!