November 3, 2008 APPEARING IN PERSON: ERIC THE ACTOR This date in 2008 we finally met Eric the Midget in flesh. He wheeled in with his brand new dye-job, greeting Howard and Robin, as well as the fans who had gathered to meet him, including Dixie Chicks lead singer Natalie Maines (who had flown in from LA just to “view” him), and a fascinated writer from Newsweek. He brought in two whores from the Bunny Ranch whom he had spent the night with, and he talked about being lifted to the bed, where he had so much fun, he couldn’t remember how many times he climaxed. Spoiler Howard had a few surprises for the tiny terror, including one of his wrestling heroes Kurt Angle. But everything paled in comparison to surprise number two, the object of Eric’s obsession and affection, American Idol’s Diana DeGarmo. She was waiting in the hall, but in order to meet her, Eric had to agree to be measured for a Real Doll, and he eventually relented. He was awestruck as he gazed upon Diana (‘s knees). He shyly asked her for a date, but unfortunately, she had a (made-up) boyfriend.