2013 Darwin Awards are out!!!

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Dirty South, Dec 26, 2013.

  1. Dirty South

    Dirty South Large Member

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    The 2013 Darwins Are Out!!!!

    Yes, it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
    [HR][/HR]And Now, The Honorable Mentions:

    10.
    When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.

    The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had and the perp had been punished enough!


    9.
    The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast… The frustrated gunman walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

    7.
    Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

    6.
    A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

    5.
    An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

    3.
    A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

    Here Is The Glorious Winner:


    1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.






    http://jdgroover.wordpress.com/2013/08/20/the-2013-darwin-awards-are-out/

    These awards should be renamed the Lever Awards, IMO. (#4 doesn't really fit, IMO, his deception was actually pretty crafty/devious)
     
  2. stripes

    stripes Active Member Banned User

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    very funny, #4 killed me.:hat:
     
  3. fletchman71

    fletchman71 Well-Known Member

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    #3 is false. Nothing like that happened in 2013 in Chicago.
     
  4. basketcase

    basketcase Pissed that Naz only has 2 legs

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    #3 is just plain hateful.
     
  5. Gitfiddle

    Gitfiddle Live Deliciously

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    None of this happened.
     
  6. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    How the fuck are these Darwin awards when none of these motherfuckers fucking died???
     
  7. Cheri

    Cheri Skunk VIP

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    Number 10 is also fake.
     
  8. SIPAWITZ

    SIPAWITZ Bialy Whore Banned User

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    Number 4 should have won just because of how many idiots were involved
     
  9. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    Ditto :c
     
  10. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    I was just about to say that :wd:
     
  11. HelloCleveland!

    HelloCleveland! Well-Known Member

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    I'm pretty sure I've heard all these before. Do they just recycle them randomly every year?
     
  12. geo

    geo Well-Known Member

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    [video=youtube;NVFiMHzyu3g]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVFiMHzyu3g[/video]
     
  13. Dirty South

    Dirty South Large Member

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    Jeez you were all the same people telling all the kids in school Santa wasn't real! :mad: :bigcry:
     
  14. Capn Crud

    Capn Crud The Pride of Cucamonga VIP Gold

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    But it's plausable.
     
  15. stripes

    stripes Active Member Banned User

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    omfg that is funny, no way that's real? :dontknow:
     
  16. stripes

    stripes Active Member Banned User

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    if that's real, there is a gawd & he's one funny bitch
     
  17. Gitfiddle

    Gitfiddle Live Deliciously

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    Everything on the internet is fake.
     
  18. fletchman71

    fletchman71 Well-Known Member

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    :secret:It's not real.
     
  19. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    [​IMG]