Politics 4 presidents and their cocks' nicknames. What do you call yours?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MilkyDischarge, May 10, 2016.

  1. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Proud Schtick POTY 2016 Gold

    Reputations:
    94,382
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    9,426
    Likes Received:
    16,585
    4 presidents’ penis nicknames you should know
    [​IMG]
    The following information comes from colleague Brian Abrams, who spent the last two years writing “Party Like a President: True Tales of Inebriation, Lechery, and Mischief from the Oval Office,” which comes out this week.

    Abrams all but put a crossbow to my temple to help promote the title, which, in all honesty, looks pretty amazing. There’s something like 100 illustrations in there, too, from artist John Mathias. You can peek a few of ‘em on the author’s Tumblr. (There, Abrams, was that enough of a plug? Christ.)

    At any rate, within the 260-some-odd pages on the drinking lives of our commanders-in-chief, among other vices and White House cocktails, “Party Like a President” provides insight into some presidential anatomy. To wit, a few presidents apparently nicknamed their penises.

    Here’re four bits of weenie info that I extracted from the book.

    1. Warren G. Harding
    [​IMG]

    Warren G. Harding was an Ohio senator, a husband, a father, a Republican, a whiskey-gulping lush (during Prohibition) and a legendary horndog. He apparently had up to seven trysts outside of his marriage to first lady Florence Harding, and one affair of which was longer lasting — and more well-documented — than any of the others.

    Carrie Phillips, who was married to Harding’s Ohio-based pal Jim, received multiple letters from Warren G. while they were both betrothed to others. Some of ‘em extended to 35 pages, and one correspondence in particular, that was written in spring 1908 (when Harding was in the senate), gave away a few pet names for their private parts. “I am extremely in love with you this morning,” read one note from the spring of 1908. “I want you . . . and I wanted to feast my eyes, to intoxicate them in glorious breasts and matchless curves and exquisite shapeliness. And I wanted to fondle and feel of beauty and superbness . . . the ‘Oh, Warren! Oh, Warren!’ when your

    body quivers with divine paroxysm and your soul hovers for flight with mine.” In other letters, Warren nick- named his penis (“Jerry is standing up beside me while I write you”) and referred to Carrie’s vagina as “Seashell.”

    So how, after slaving over a waffle iron in the morning and trays of whiskey at night, could the Duchess deal with a husband who seemingly broke his vows at every opportunity? She kept it to herself. “Most of the pain in this world is located in the hearts of women,” Florence jotted on her desk calendar. “Maybe women are forced into mute acceptance of disloyalty, faithlessness, and humiliation because this is, after all, a man’s world.”

    2. John F. Kennedy
    [​IMG]

    No wonder he turned into one of the twentieth century’s most suc- cessful cocksmen. In his twenties, Kennedy cranked up the sexual odometer. In 1938, when his twenty-one-year-old penis—lovingly named “JJ”— was circumcised, he reported back to an old prep school roommate that little JJ “has never been in better shape or doing better service.” At some point during these adolescent escapades, Kennedy picked up a case of nonspecific urethritis. It went untreated; consequently, he dealt with constant flare-ups for the rest of his life. (Even as late as April 14, 1961, approximately seventy-two hours prior to the Bay of Pigs invasion, the president ordered a doctor to the White House to examine a “burning” sensation and “occasional mucus” when he peed.)

    3. Lyndon B. Johnson
    [​IMG]

    And in the House Office Building bathroom, it was not uncommon to find the then–senate majority leader holding his penis, aka “Jumbo,” and “shaking it, as if he was showing off,” according to one account, and asking, “Have you ever seen anything as big as this?”

    4. William J. Clinton
    [​IMG]

    Never before—not even that time JFK went skinny-dipping at Bing Crosby’s house—had a commander-in-chief’s penis made such a public spectacle. Jones described it to friends and legal counsel as “bright red and curved.” Think of it like a Santa hat. According to an affidavit that she faxed to her attorneys on September 29, 1997, the circumcised member was “short and thin” and measured five to five and one-half inches in length. (“He was … really overweight,” Jones later explained, “and it seemed like it was real little compared to his weight.”) She joked to a friend that it looked “like the leaning Tower of Pisa.”

    After years of visitors and onlookers, the cathedral still stands high.
     
    1Vegasgirl and Dirty South like this.
  2. knuckle_hedd

    knuckle_hedd loving life!

    Reputations:
    158,347
    Joined:
    May 12, 2013
    Messages:
    9,463
    Likes Received:
    25,934
    stretch armstrong..
     
    Mulletude and artiesoffspring like this.
  3. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

    Reputations:
    116,027
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2010
    Messages:
    9,086
    Likes Received:
    22,489
    Moby
     
  4. Father O'Blivion

    Father O'Blivion Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    70,294
    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2015
    Messages:
    4,188
    Likes Received:
    9,158
    Enos... it's a Biblical name.
     
    MilkyDischarge likes this.
  5. Rockside7

    Rockside7 VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    167,788
    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2014
    Messages:
    8,394
    Likes Received:
    19,697
    President Lincoln. :coffee:
     
  6. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Proud Schtick POTY 2016 Gold

    Reputations:
    94,382
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    9,426
    Likes Received:
    16,585
    Urethra Franklin
     
  7. johnfreeman1

    johnfreeman1 Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    76,440
    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2015
    Messages:
    4,268
    Likes Received:
    11,360
    I feel like JFK probably wasn't that hung.

    Clinton probably sporting a 10 inch
     
  8. Stretch5000

    Stretch5000 Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    107,254
    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2014
    Messages:
    4,373
    Likes Received:
    10,498
    The Ol' Gipper
     
  9. Dick Fitzwell

    Dick Fitzwell Opinions are like assholes ... and so am I

    Reputations:
    109,175
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    6,292
    Likes Received:
    14,106
    Kawk
     
  10. beetlejosh

    beetlejosh Who's the guy with the tattoo? Gold

    Reputations:
    363,987
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    32,203
    Likes Received:
    26,796
    Cyclops

    [​IMG]
     
    Mr Fantastic and ZevonFan like this.
  11. Robert Higgins

    Robert Higgins Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    86,768
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    13,177
    Likes Received:
    20,289
  12. artiesoffspring

    artiesoffspring Hugs and kisses

    Reputations:
    184,920
    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2013
    Messages:
    56,560
    Likes Received:
    13,589
    Airforce One.
     
  13. Rocinante

    Rocinante Well-Endowed Member Gold

    Reputations:
    22,583
    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2012
    Messages:
    4,031
    Likes Received:
    4,697
  14. Lou Loomis

    Lou Loomis Feel the Gern

    Reputations:
    56,402
    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    17,244
    Likes Received:
    9,716
    D'Brickashaw
     
    Mulletude, zoben and O Face like this.
  15. Head Censor

    Head Censor Turgid Member VIP

    Reputations:
    406,352
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    10,979
    Likes Received:
    28,797
    Apparently not.

     
    Dirty South likes this.
  16. Dirty South

    Dirty South Large Member

    Reputations:
    267,950
    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2012
    Messages:
    24,627
    Likes Received:
    25,055
    Huma's clit is bigger than that.
     
    Head Censor likes this.
  17. Head Censor

    Head Censor Turgid Member VIP

    Reputations:
    406,352
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    10,979
    Likes Received:
    28,797
    To say nothing of Hill's quiver of strap-ons. :artiejj:
     
  18. Dirty South

    Dirty South Large Member

    Reputations:
    267,950
    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2012
    Messages:
    24,627
    Likes Received:
    25,055
    Think Bill still fucks her every now and then?

    I bet they haven't banged since Y2K.
     
    Cookie_Puss and Head Censor like this.
  19. O Face

    O Face VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    59,055
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    8,963
    Likes Received:
    6,176
    Its called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testes - my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right you just might get to meet the whole gang.

    [​IMG]
     
  20. Shady_Jake

    Shady_Jake Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    1,077
    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2015
    Messages:
    799
    Likes Received:
    1,835
    I named my cock Russell Lewis Louise when I was 11-12.
     
    Mr Cachexic likes this.