5 star review for Beth's book!

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by RumBalls, Nov 19, 2014.

  1. RumBalls

    RumBalls The original RumBalls, est. Jan 16, 2012

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    Anyone here write this review? If so, well done!


    A book that possibly saved the world......
    By Bozeman - November 18, 2014
    First off, let me give you a little background about myself. I have worked in the past as a lead interrogator at Guantanamo Bay. Transitioning into a life post Guantanamo hasn't been easy, and it has been definitely difficult adjusting to my new line of work as an undercover CIA operative working to eliminate the threat known as ISIS.

    Let me tell you how this book changed not only my life, but the future path of Islamic fundamentalism that has been running rampant across the globe.

    Without giving away too many details that may compromise national security, in a nutshell, ISIS has been a huge pain in my rear end. When you are dealing with people like this, no amount of standard interrogation techniques will break them into giving up tactical positions, or leading us to the terrorist known as Jihadi John.

    We have tried everything with our captured prisoners. Ice picks, nail clippers, electricity, chemicals, water, drugs, and these fundamentalists pretty much shout out "Allahu Akbar" We have gotten nowhere, and as you have seen over the last few months, ISIS and Jihadi John have continued to cause terror and make well produced theatrical releases of this terror.

    Well, not anymore. Today I was approached by a young arab boy selling chiclets and bootleg dvd's of the movie Avatar. He also had a series of books with a strange looking creature on the cover. At first glance I assumed it was a cool story about some kind of very wise abominable snowman. So i purchased one in exchange for 2 pall mall cigarettes. (btw, chiclets cost me 3)

    Anyway, later on, we were doing our standard interrogation with a lower level ISIS member. Once again, nothing was working at all. Even the advance high frequency sound torture i had discovered just a couple years earlier didn't work. So, while sitting in front of one of these captured terrorists, i took my customary smoke break and started to open the pages of this book.

    Almost instantly i felt queasy. With every word i read the sicker i became. I didn't understand what was happening to my body, but the more i got invested into this story about a cat with a horrible life that was saved and given a good life, the sicker i became. When my vomit turned into that of the projectile nature, i shut the book and turned it over and instantly felt better.

    Let me just tell you this, as someone on the inside, i have seen many strange things that could be classified as supernatural. There are forces at play which are good and evil that are constantly battling. Sometimes there is no logical explanation for these occurrences. This is one of those times.

    I forced this terrorist to look at this book and in a flash, not only did he throw up all over his worn ISIS uniform, but he gave up vital information about the where a bouts of a few mid level ISIS members we were trying to find. As i type this we are currently gathering intel about even higher up members on the isis food chain from these mid level members. And yes, it was the book that allowed us to torture these men into submission. Soon we will be led to and capture Jihadi John and the threat known as ISIS will be no more.

    I know many of you probably question the validity of this story, and to be honest, I am glad you do. For those enlightened few out there, this will not come as a surprise. Life is really all about the battle of good and evil, and within this battle it gets complicated. There are unexplained and unnatural forces out there that cause all the pain, suffering and even joy in this world. There is no explanation.

    This book on the surface is the epitome of evil. Through our interrogations we found out it was being used to submit moderate muslims into taking on an extreme ideology. This book was pre released early to a select few in this circle for the very purpose of enacting terrorism upon the innocent. Thanks to a young arab boy that was just trying to feed his 16 half brothers and sisters, it fell into my hands, and now it is being used for good.

    This is the thing about evil, it can be used for good if put into the right hands. However, this evil doesn't go away, and you must always be prepared to see in it things that, on the surface seem good. Cute, cuddly, white cat kid story written by an apparent righteous lady that saves God's creatures from suffering? Sounds beautiful doesn't it? Not everything is what it seems however, and this story is what us in the know like to call "pure evil" Open your eyes, your heart and your soul and truly recognize what pure evil is. Only then can we truly save the world and make this world a better place for all to live in. Pure evil is just that, there is no need have a rational explanation. It just is.

    Hopefully this book will finally allow people to recognize what this pure evil is and I truly do pray, that for once, people will accept and not question it, and use this evil for good.
    17 of 24 people found this review helpful
     
  2. Birddog

    Birddog Well-Known Member

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    Dude put some serious effort into that, well done.
     
  3. Wesmantooth

    Wesmantooth VIP Extreme Gold

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    all great except for the fucking 5 star rating
     
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  4. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    That was funny! I can picture Beth reading it and pouring a big glass of wine.
     
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  5. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    Too much to read, so I skimmed it. Good work nonetheless.
     
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  6. smichal

    smichal A1 Dick Game

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    5 star is good because when boeuf or a sycophant goes to read the good reviews they will get very disappointed. heheh upvote it!
     
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  7. GIRLY

    GIRLY OV

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    [​IMG]
     
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  8. happy francis

    happy francis Active Member

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    Stanhope
     
  9. BooeyBanana

    BooeyBanana Well-Known Member

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    I hope this nook is given away to underprivilaged kids so they can enjoy this book as well. May Beth give this book in inner city schools.
     
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