Entertainment 5 things every Chicano should know before age 12

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by dawg, Dec 30, 2015.

  1. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    #5 The Dodgers a.k.a. Los Doyers

    Aside from being Raider fans, Chicanos are hard core Dodger fans.

    losdoyers.jpg

    #4 Pretending to Hate Thanksgiving

    Want to scare white people? Or people who love turkey? Learn this phrase: “We didn’t cross the border, the border crossed us.”

    lalo alcaraz thanksgiving2.jpg

    #3 Morrissey

    Maybe Chicanos were EMO before EMO was trendy. But there is something to the lyrics of Morrissey that gets Chicanos all riled up. And by riled up, I really mean Emo’d out.



    If you really want to understand Chicano culture, learn the lyrics to this popular Morrissey song, visit an 80’s club, and wave your body around feeling the music. Don’t forget to close your eyes.

    morrissey in mexico.jpg

    #2 La Virgen

    It’s a love like no other. Shrines and tattoos have been built and inked to the beauty, wisdom and relentless love to La Virgen Maria de Guadalupe. The love for La Virgen is not to be confused with a numb devotion to the Catholic Church. In fact, for Chicanos or Chicanas or Xicanas with an “X”, depending on the level of indigenous intellect, La Virgen, is really a reincarnation of the Aztec goddess, Tonatzin (toe-nat-zeen) also known in Mesoamerican cultures as Coatlicue (ko-yat-tli-koo), and Cihuacoatl, (sea-gua-ko-yat), the mother of all creation in pre-conquered America.
    During the Catholic invasion, err…conversions, the worship of the mother goddess, who gave birth to Huitzilipotchtli (weet-zee-lee-potch-lee), the god of the sun and war, (aka Jesus!) is seen by intellect circles within Chicano culture as the true image seen by Cuauhtlatoatzin, (Koo-ah-ooh-tla-toe-at-zeen), a mere indigenous peasant, aka, Juan Diego. When the Goddess performed the miracle of pasting her image and roses on Juan Diegos’ tilma (robe), the church claimed the image to be that of the Virgen Mary, not of Tonatzin, the indigenous earth mother. The shrine of Tonatzin was destroyed, and in its place, a church in the honor of the La Virgen was built, known today as the Basilica of our Lady of Guadalupe, the largest church in Mexico in her honor.

    La Virgen tattoo.jpg

    #1 All Chicanos must own at least 1 low rider car!

    2010-04-26-lowrider.jpg


    there you have it folks.
     
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  2. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

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    #6 - the minimum payload capacity of an 84 Chevy pickup is 17.5 people.
     
  3. Tranquil

    Tranquil Well-Known Member

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    Does the low rider have to be meant for the gays?
     
  4. ApeFace

    ApeFace Well-Known Member

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    Carry a knife at all times. Am I right? I kid, I kid.
     
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  5. DrivenByDemons

    DrivenByDemons Spinoff Jesus Staff Member

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    @big faggy taught me they smell like snuggle and she's right.
     
  6. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    No but its a must that it be equipped with hydraulics.

    DawgLowRider1.gif
     
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  7. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    what in the world...
     
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  8. Quality Control

    Quality Control dove Gold

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  9. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

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    #7 - the parking lot of the 7-11 is actually not the employment office
     
  10. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    How dare you.

    Yes you are right :shucks:
     
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  11. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    Well bro that would be funny if Mexicans didnt have 3 jobs each, i have to give that joke a 1 and i am being sympathetic.
     
  12. ApeFace

    ApeFace Well-Known Member

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    All in good fun.
     
  13. Tranquil

    Tranquil Well-Known Member

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    I had to make sure

    [​IMG]
     
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  14. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

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    #8 - dont believe the hype, beans are not a Magical Fruit
     
  15. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    Of course, somehow we got too serious around here and forgot that racial humor is fun.
     
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  16. Gigashadow

    Gigashadow Well-Known Member Banned User

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    So Mexicans like The Smiths? Who knew? :dontknow:
     
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  17. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

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    Uno! I'll take it.
     
  18. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    Never slap a chicana on the ass unless you want a chancla to the head. correct.
     
  19. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    :hug:
     
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  20. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    Did i mention you have to watch every cheech and chong movie? its Chicano law.