A. Dookie

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by JFK, Aug 29, 2015.

  1. JFK

    JFK Ask not what your country can do for you. Gold

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    This is the craziest way to find out your boyfriend is cheating
    By Jane Ridley

    August 29, 2015 | 6:00am


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    Ayanna Dookie, 33, thought her man was the perfect guy - until she read a news article saying he was a killer.Photo: Megan Martin
    MORE ON:
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    Sorry, ladies, there really is a man shortage


    This week's couple: Tricks of the date

    Brooklyn bike-lover wants a woman with plenty to talk about

    Modern-day Carrie Bradshaws reveal their worst sex tales in the city
    Stand-up comedian Ayanna Dookie, 33, of Bushwick, Brooklyn, once had such low self-esteem, she turned a blind eye to her boyfriend’s infidelity. Here she tells Jane Ridley the dramatic story of how it took a killing to open up her eyes.

    It was an early Sunday morning in April 2008 when I received a text message from my friend Ryan. “So sorry about what happened,” it read.

    “What are you talking about?” was my response.

    “Just Google Spike’s real name,” was all Ryan would say.

    So I booted up my computer and typed in the name of my boyfriend of three years. I froze as I read the chilling words — it said he was “being held for the murder of his girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend.”

    It didn’t make any sense. I was Spike’s girlfriend. I didn’t even have any ex-boyfriends. The reporter must have made a mistake.

    But it turned out that the news story was correct. Spike had allegedly killed his girlfriend’s former lover. Except the girlfriend wasn’t me. Of all the ways to find out that your boyfriend is cheating on you, this one took the cake.

    When I met Spike in 2004 at the age of 24, I’d never had a real boyfriend. I’d had countless one-night stands and “uhhh, it’s complicated” situations, but never anyone steady.

    AT THE TIME, IT WAS DEVASTATING — NOT BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENED CONFIRMED THAT SPIKE WAS CHEATING, BUT BECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND WAS LOCKED IN JAIL ON $100,000 BAIL.
    So when I met Spike at a party and we went out once and then started dating, I couldn’t believe my luck. He was the boyfriend I’d been craving for years.

    But there were warning signs that things weren’t right. About a year into the relationship, a girl I’d never met before took me aside at a party and said, “I know where I know your boyfriend from.”

    The implication was that she’d seen him with another woman.

    Without missing a beat, I said, “I don’t want to know,” and walked away.

    What was important to me was that I had a man. So what if there were other girls?

    I was fine living my life in denial — until that fateful text message.

    It turned out that one of the women who Spike was cheating with had a crazy ex-boyfriend who broke into her house when he was staying over. There had been a fight and Spike shot the man eight times, killing him.

    At the time, it was devastating — not because what happened confirmed that Spike was cheating, but because my boyfriend was locked in jail on $100,000 bail.

    At first, to the disgust of my friends, I decided to stand by my man. But a couple of weeks later I had a wake-up call. Did I value myself so little that I was going to play the part of the loyal girlfriend when he had treated me so badly?

    I never contacted Spike again, but I heard through the grapevine that his lawyers were able to get him off on grounds of self-defense.

    Now, I can’t believe that I once suffered from such lack of self-esteem. Today, I have a steady boyfriend, but I don’t need a boyfriend to define me. In many ways, Spike did me a favor.
     
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  2. JFK

    JFK Ask not what your country can do for you. Gold

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  3. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Hey yo

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    I love it. Whoever marries Ms. Dookie should take her name.
     
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  4. GIRLY

    GIRLY OV

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    [​IMG]
     
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  5. HowieHasBeen

    HowieHasBeen VIP Extreme Gold

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    [​IMG]
     
  6. FishySausage

    FishySausage Original Nuttah VIP Gold

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    So I guess she's have a "dookie-booty"?
     
  7. Kool

    Kool Well-Known Member

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    Too long to read
     
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  8. Fuzz Nuts

    Fuzz Nuts VIP Extreme Gold

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    Okilly dokilly neighbor.
     
  9. JFK

    JFK Ask not what your country can do for you. Gold

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    Here's a summary:

    Ayanna Dookie, 33, thought her man was the perfect guy - until she read a news article saying he was a killer.
     
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  10. Quality Control

    Quality Control dove Gold

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    I feel for Ayanna, but for the life of me I can't get past the hair, the head band, the earrings and the hombre lipstick. I want to pull her aside and gently explain that there are much bigger fish to fry than being with a man.
     
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  11. JFK

    JFK Ask not what your country can do for you. Gold

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    Yea, like changing your name.
     
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  12. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Hey yo

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    Phil Dookie
    Ben Dookie
    Dick Dookie
     
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  13. Quality Control

    Quality Control dove Gold

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    Toosh!
     
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  14. IfTheyOnlyKnew

    IfTheyOnlyKnew VIP Extreme Gold

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    I'm guessing that's her "stage name" since the article lists her as a stand-up comedienne. I'm surprised she would pick that stupid name though, since dookie = shit in the 'hood. :facepalm:
     
  15. Quality Control

    Quality Control dove Gold

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    She's a comedienne? I didn't read that far. Maybe that explains her look, too? :dontknow:
     
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  16. John Sterling

    John Sterling Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Should change her name to A. Darkie.
     
  17. IfTheyOnlyKnew

    IfTheyOnlyKnew VIP Extreme Gold

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    :umm: Nah, I think that's just cultural.... :shucks:
     
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  18. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

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    Summary:

    "I'm a fool and a zero. But I'm still so clueless I like to write about it and let everyone know that. I'm brave and smart because I (finally) broke up with a murdering cheater".
     
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  19. JFK

    JFK Ask not what your country can do for you. Gold

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    Well, she calls herself a comidenne. I just watched two of her bits....

    As for her look, that photo is a VAST improvement:

    [​IMG]
     
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  20. Doctor Remulak

    Doctor Remulak Member

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    I know this isn't the point, but how is he a "murderer" and a "killer"? A crazy ex boyfriend breaks in during the middle of the night while he was sleeping over and starts a fight. He shoots him.
    The writer just wanted a better headline for his story.