A list of the AGT acts so far this season. No wonder this show sucks.

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by JoeyG, Jun 23, 2013.

  1. JoeyG

    JoeyG Active Member

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    Recorded all 3 shows so far. This is the only way to watch this miserable show, IMO. So you can fast forward through the bullshit. here is the synopsis:
    Premier - 2 hours long

    1. Snake handler 1:27 (used a rattlesnake in act. 99% of bite vicitms survive if given anti-venom within 2hrs)
    2. Country singer (who just happens to already have a record contract) 1:32
    3. Dancer - novelty act, buzzed after 27 seconds
    4. Guy that contracted every muscle in his body - another novelty, buzzed in 7 secs
    5. Alien singer - novelty, buzzed in 10 secs
    6. Avant Garde noise music - novelty act - buzzed in 28 seconds
    7. Shadow Dancers - actually a very good act - 1:29
    8. Dancers - 3 dudes, dancing to singing in the rain 1:32
    9. Comedian - :18 seconds
    10. Chuck from the Bronx - 3 food challenges - Novelty act - buzzed at 1:18
    11. Singer - 10 yr old boy - buzzed at 20 seconds
    12. Singer - 10 yr old girl - good singer - 1:29
    13. Chorus/orchestra - played and sang "Call Me Maybe" Somehow, the judges liked this. Just awful. 1:35
    14. Special Head - dude that levetated - Howard buzzed early, then took back "X" after act. 1:21
    15. Female Comedian/impersonator - very bad act (so bad she had to say who she was impersonating because you couldn't tell) - Howard laughed the whole time - 1:19
    16. Singer/dancer - one song guy - "B-double O-T-Y" 1:32

    Total: about 17 minutes of acts, 2 good ones, but one already has a record contract. Just commercials and fluff. Not hard to figure out why ratings suck. Show 2 and 3 coming later.
     
  2. TaTa Toothy

    TaTa Toothy New Member

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    You are either very brave or a masochist to sit through all that shit.
     
  3. Roberticus

    Roberticus Well-Known Member

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    What non-bullshit are you fast-forwarding *to*?
     
  4. Nemo

    Nemo Beer Can Thick Gold

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    :mad:
    all international talent
    best season ever
    young children love Howard
     
  5. F Vick

    F Vick Stuck up cunt Banned User

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    Took one for the team?
    Thank you
     
  6. HORSETOOTHED

    HORSETOOTHED Well-Known Member

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    Yeah I tried, but this year I think I'll be doing all my AGT viewing via screenshots and gifs.
     
  7. JoeyG

    JoeyG Active Member

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    I had some extra time!!! I record it, then fast forward through the bullshit, and watch the minute or so of the acts. I realized I was fast forwarding for long stretches and decided to time how much of the actual show's content was decent talent. As you can see from my original post, even if you count the marginal acts that have no chance of winning, you have less than 8 minutes of acts - for a two hour show. Too much trying to build drama. For instance, the snake guy: They play it off like a diamond-back rattler is the most dangerous snake in the world, and if your bitten, you'll die. Truth is, this guy was never in any danger. They're common, all hospitals/ambulances have anti-venom, and the act wasn't evem that dangerous. The guy blew up a huge balloon - like 12" in diameter, put it in his mouth, and the snake bit it and popped it. The guy had at least 12" of leeway, and as I said, even if he were bitten, just not that dangerous.
     
  8. JoeyG

    JoeyG Active Member

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    OK, here's show #2:
    1. 9 and 10 yr old salsa dancers. Kids were good, but they played off of the girlfriend/boyfriend thing. 1:32
    2. 12 and 13 yr old dancers. Same exact act as above, in fact they are siblings of above act, and again, just talked about the kids relationship the entire time. 1:28
    3. Mariachi band - played "Im sexy and I Know it" - at least it's a different act, but still just average - 1:09
    4. Pistol packin' Paula - woman just shoots blanks in the air - novelty, shitty act - Howard loved it and did not buzz - in fact, he did not X her 1:20
    5. Sword swallower - angle was that he took an x-ray as he swallowed 9 swords - don't know what else he can do with this act - 1:42
    6. Magician - Actually had a cool trick - took a dollar from Howie and "teleported" it into an unopened bag of chips. 2:12
    7. Ventriloquist - good act - girl had puppets actually sing Whitney Houston and opera song, and sang it well - 1:02
    8. Singer - kicked out of house because he is gay - sang opera - of course, Howard loved the gay angle - :58
    9. Escape artist - Shitty act - escape from chains underwater - only drama was manufactured - Howard called it a HomeRun - 2:32
    10. JC Starbright - guy says he's next Lady GaGa - horrible novelty act - finally buzzed out at 1:18
    11. Ghost story teller - can't believe this shit is on TV - :34
    12. Sam Johnson - did hand stand on 80' pole - this circus act went on for over 7 minutes - the act was "only" 1:45, the rest was manufactured drama.
    13. Singer/guitar player - think John Mayer - very average - 1:45

    Once again, most of these acts either sucked, or were [passed through due to some manufactured, sappy, shitty backstory - I'm gay, two little kids are boyfriend/girlfreind, etc. Only 3,6,7,and 8 have any shot. 12 and 13 maybe. That's about 8 minutes of actual "talent" in 2 hours of show.
     
  9. Keyless Chuck

    Keyless Chuck Barely a VIP

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    Sounds like you wasted precious time in your day that you will never get back. So I know you fast forwarded it but did you see wiggy try and take the stage and make it all about him? Never seen the show by the way.
     
  10. DearLawd

    DearLawd Well-Known Member

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    I watched about 5 or 6 shows last year just to see Howard, and to keep up with what was talked about here.

    I hate that show....so this year? I kept it to 20 min of the first show and not again. I refuse to punish myself.

    Hoping that if he does anything really obnoxious, it will be talked about here. :D
     
  11. christ cracker

    christ cracker Well-Known Member

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    huh? she ate coke
     
  12. christ cracker

    christ cracker Well-Known Member

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    i think she did do it
    lisa g has gum disease
     
  13. FSFN

    FSFN Well-Known Member

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    ...thunderdome...
     
  14. Mike

    Mike 'Merica Gold

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    that b double-o t y. that's all i remember from the 1st week

    i think that 10 yr old 30 sounding chick was the 2nd week. i remembered her.

    and the last week sucked shit where they didn't x anyone.
     
  15. nicksgt

    nicksgt Well-Known Member

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    there is a weird thing going on this year, where this absolutely no drama whatsoever, ive only seen the first two, but there are very few of those acts that are so bad they are good, and they are hardly x'ing anyone...they fawn over and love every single act