A man goes into a bank

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by gilaet, Feb 19, 2013.

  1. gilaet

    gilaet mind wandering... Staff Member

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    Goes up to a white-haired lady by the desk and goes, "Yeah, I wanna open a fucking bank account."
    The woman goes, "What did you say?"
    He said, "I said I wanna open a fucking bank account."
    She goes, "You better watch your language or I'm gonna get the manager."
    He says, "Why? 'Cause I wanna open a fucking bank account?"
    So she storms off, gets the manager.
    Manager walks over to the man.
    He goes, "What seems to be the trouble here, sir?"
    And he says, "I wanna open a fucking bank account for $500,000."
    And the bank manager says, "Oh, and is this cunt giving you a hard time?"





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  2. Lumpy

    Lumpy Active Member

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    Meh
     
  3. Ryan Lever

    Ryan Lever Well-Known Member

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  4. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    A boy accidentally walks in on his mother taking a shower. Curious he points to her vagina and says "What's that mommy?" Thinking quickly she said "Oh, that's where Daddy hit me with an axe." “Good shot!” replied the boy, “Right in the cunt!”
     
  5. gilaet

    gilaet mind wandering... Staff Member

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    A man comes home to his wife.
    He goes, "Honey, pack your bags. I just won the lottery."
    And she goes, "What shall I pack?"
    He goes, "I don't care. Just pack and get the fuck out."





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  6. Lumpy

    Lumpy Active Member

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    Just fucking stop already.....geez
     
  7. gilaet

    gilaet mind wandering... Staff Member

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    A little boy comes home.
    He says, "Dad, I got my first blowjob."
    The father goes, "How was it?"
    He goes, "Tasted awful."




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  8. MrWarmth

    MrWarmth UP YOURS Gold

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    I just came back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother in law to the airport

    :rs:
     
  9. artiesoffspring

    artiesoffspring Hugs and kisses

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    Wait a tick…*repack???
     
  10. Lumpy

    Lumpy Active Member

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    Please dont add to this abortion.
     
  11. artiesoffspring

    artiesoffspring Hugs and kisses

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    Lmao. I love it.
     
  12. gilaet

    gilaet mind wandering... Staff Member

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    How do you get a faggot to fuck a woman?
    Fill her cunt up with shit.





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  13. Phil McKrakin

    Phil McKrakin AKA Howie VIP

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  14. Phil McKrakin

    Phil McKrakin AKA Howie VIP

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    yep
     
  15. MrWarmth

    MrWarmth UP YOURS Gold

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    Johnnie: "Yes teacher. A big motherfucking rat with a fucking cock THIS fucking big!"

    :rs:
     
  16. gilaet

    gilaet mind wandering... Staff Member

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    This thread has class.
    You can't buy that.
     
  17. artiesoffspring

    artiesoffspring Hugs and kisses

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    Now you're freaking me out. That friend of my dad I was telling you about told me that Dirty Johnny joke. I was 16 at the time and had just finished a huge bong rip. funniest thing I heard that year.
     
  18. MrWarmth

    MrWarmth UP YOURS Gold

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    Bob Hope: "Hey Here we are in Danang! Gateway to Hell!....Grrrrrrr"

    :rs:
     
  19. artiesoffspring

    artiesoffspring Hugs and kisses

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    I'm not in the market.
     
  20. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    On a rainy day, an little Indian from a tribe goes to his chief and asks, "Chief, how do you name all the people of our tribe?"

    The Chief replies,"Oh, it quite easy. When baby born, I look first thing I see moving in wilderness, and name baby just that."

    "How so?" asks the Indian.

    "Well," replies the Chief, "if I see coyote running in field, I name baby Running Coyote, if I see bull sit, I name baby Sitting Bull."

    "Oh, I see now" says the Indian.

    Then the Chief turns to the Indian and says, "Well, why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?"