A Stern Warning to AGT Co-Judges, Replacement

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Benjamen, Aug 26, 2015.

  1. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    NEW YORK - Days after destroying the personal and professional life of a Lexington, Kentucky, newscaster who bullied him on-air by asking why he was invited to speak at Friends star Jennifer Aniston's recent wedding, King of All Media Howard Stern has issued an aggressive warning to his co-judges on NBC's America's Got Talent.

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    "I'm telling you right now: Do not put me in your Periscope videos," Stern said Monday morning in a statement aimed at co-host Howie Mandel. "That phone will be up your a-- if you use that thing around me."

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    Stern is no stranger to physical violence. As an adolescent in Roosevelt, New York, he was beaten daily with chains by African Americans integrating into his native Long Island neighborhood. When the new black residents began stealing his pants as well, his family was forced to flee to the largely white, upper-class community of Rockville Centre.

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    "His rationale is that because he's backstage at AGT, he thinks he can film behind the scenes and be interesting," Stern continued, growing angrier. "But it's not fair if he wants to include other people," Stern said, referring to members of his personal security team who guard the outside of his dressing room, and to his personal stylist and on-call hairdresser who hover around him at all times. "I'm not kidding when I say I'm going to shove that phone up Howie's a-- if he uses it again," the 61-year-old declared, dismissively brushing aside a summer scarf decorated in human skulls.

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    Mandel has not responded to interview requests at this time, but is presumably taking his co-judge's threats of violence very seriously. Stern holds a brown belt in Japanese Shotokan karate, after all, and has routinely demonstrated some of his lethal techniques onstage at AGT auditions.


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    "The other judges see Howard's physicality, and they become extremely intimidated by him," an anonymous source who works at AGT confides.

    Stern is licensed to carry a concealed firearm in New York City -- a fact that has supermodel co-judge Heidi Klum "walking on eggshells" around him, the source adds.

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    "When Heidi joined the show, she loved to sing, and it would drive me nuts," Stern told listeners to his Sirius XM radio program. "I'm sitting there trying to think about my job, and she's singing to me. I've asked her to stop, but she's trying to be funny." Stern paused, letting a chilling silence settle in. "So I told her that if I start trying to be funny ... it's going to hurt."

    A source at Sirius XM says that Stern then motioned to the handgun he keeps hidden on his person.

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    Rumors inside the AGT camp suggest that co-judge Mel B has become inconsolably frightened that she'll say or do something that will accidentally offend the extremely volatile Stern. The DJ has made it clear that the therapist who has conducted intense psychoanalysis on him for up to four days a week for the past 15 years is currently on vacation, and that he is ready to snap.

    "I'm even afraid I'll drink my coffee the wrong way. You never know what will set that man off," Mel B was overheard saying between sobs in her dressing room.

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    Stern has said repeatedly that he is leaving AGT this season by choice and not by force. The remaining judges are said to be relieved. But for Howard's replacement, it's another story.

    "Simon [Cowell] has heard the physical threats Mr. Stern has been issuing, he's familiar with Mr. Stern's violent past, and he has personally witnessed Mr. Stern bench press 95 pounds, counting the bar," a source at NBC whispers. "After the Sony hacks, when Mr. Stern found out about Simon taking his job away from him ... Simon became a ghost. He couldn't eat, he couldn't sleep ... He's constantly looking over his shoulder, worried that Mr. Stern is going to get physical."

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    Stern has alluded in the past to his clandestine methods of ruining the lives of people who cross him -- which has his replacement judge even more paranoid, the source says.

    "Frankly, Simon isn't sure he wants to be involved in AGT anymore. He has a family to think about."
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2015
  2. ClintDagger

    ClintDagger World's #2 Ranked Poster - Exec VP Larry, Inc VIP

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    I thought he was just going to warn his replacement that his judges chair smells like depends and wig glue.
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  3. puncher

    puncher VIP Extreme Gold

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    I love Stern issuing threats like he is some "bad-ass"....the guy couldn't kick Heidi's ass much less Mandel's. I put my money on Mandel on that fight...frail Stern would get destroyed by Mandel.

    If this article is true, Stern has really burned his bridge on AGT and it is no surprised he was fired....err....I mean, he quit. I bet everybody associated with that show is happy the wigged loser is leaving.
     
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  4. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    I remember hearing Stern threaten that he would punch somebody "in the head" if they did something he didn't like. I always thought that was odd because I think it would be more prudent to threaten to punch somebody "in the face" rather than "in the head". I know your face is technically on your head, but you could hurt your hand if you punched somebody on a different area of their head. I wonder how many times he actually followed through with that threat?
     
  5. FCCstandards

    FCCstandards Non-Essential Salooner VIP

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    true? Benjamen wrote it
     
  6. Nibbler

    Nibbler heaven is in your mind Gold

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  7. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    Tough guy Howard. He's a bad ass! Or is he just an ass?
     
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  8. Nibbler

    Nibbler heaven is in your mind Gold

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    :rofl: I can't help it. That article is one of the funniest things I've ever read.
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  9. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

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    ...since he is threatening his co workers he needs to go NOW and not finish the season. they dont need him anyway.
     
  10. William Shirtner

    William Shirtner Well-Known Member

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    Yes the tough guy act. I'm serious if he mentions Periscope one more time I will knock his face off his face.
     
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  11. Nibbler

    Nibbler heaven is in your mind Gold

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    If Benjamen ever wrote a book, I'd read it cover to cover.
     
  12. Anyonenow

    Anyonenow Well-Known Member

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  13. EddyG

    EddyG MORON Banned User

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    Mandel can afford a bodyguard
     
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  14. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    So can Stern, but he hired a limo driver instead.
     
  15. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Hey yo

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    Brown belt after he shits his pants while Howie delivers some Jew on Jew violence.
     
  16. cygnus2112

    cygnus2112 In The Prep Room

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    "I wanna drink my decaf skim water, with a splash of cranberry from SCHTARBUCKSHHH in peace without having to worry about being caught on camera without my wig..errr I mean my glasses on. Right Robin? ROBIN??!"
     
  17. Ashbeard

    Ashbeard Well-Known Member

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    Beaten daily with chains by African Americans. (Jackie laugh)
     
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  18. EddyG

    EddyG MORON Banned User

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    minnie Driver.
     
  19. BethSucks

    BethSucks Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I hope Howie has the balls to pull some sort of prank on Stern before the show ends.
     
  20. HooHoo

    HooHoo Well-Known Member

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    Yeah we're talking about an adult "male" that dove into his limo in fear when a homeless guy spit in his wife's mouth. He's completely terrified of the world, has to be talked down off the ledge by his psychiatrist every time someone touched one of his belongings and he broke out into hives. The pussy can't even benchpress an empty bar.

    So forgive me if I have some reservations that a frail old queen is going to be kicking anyone's ass. More likely he would just faint if ever actually confronted with physical violence.

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    Last edited: Aug 26, 2015