A Thousand Dildos For The Military Wives

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by gilaet, Mar 3, 2012.

  1. gilaet

    gilaet Xanax Service Dog Staff Member

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    LAS VEGAS—RealTouch wants to bring
    teledildonics to Afghanistan. Company manager
    Scott Rinaldo, appearing at a CES party sponsored
    by porn firm Pink Visual, said he's working on
    distributing "a thousand dildos for the military
    wives"—in this case, Internet-connected sex toys
    that can let families thousands of miles apart get
    intimate.

    I'm not sure if he's being skeezy or sweet here. Let
    me start with the technology. RealTouch is a
    slightly terrifying, synthetic orifice that lives in a
    plastic tube and connects to a computer. Based on
    data from an Internet connection, the unit warms up, lubes up, pulses and grips any item
    stuck into it. On the other end of a connection, a "performer"—who could be a paid "cam
    girl," or the aforementioned military wife—hand-operates a sensor-covered rod to run the
    motors in the RealTouch.

    I really hope I didn't just freak out anyone reading this story.

    Rinaldo's core audience, at least so far, is men who buy his device to sync it
    with porn videos in the privacy of their own homes. But Rinaldo sees a
    genuine social benefit in his tech, so he said he's trying to get in touch with
    the U.S. military to have RealTouch approved as a method for a sort of
    virtual conjugal visit. (Presumably, female soldiers could operate the rod while deployed and
    send the main unit home.) Given the lack of privacy on military bases, I'm not sure how that
    would work, exactly. But it's a thought.

    RealTouch is the latest stab at teledildonics, the science of remote-controlled sex. The term
    was coined in 1975 by a science-fiction author, according to Wikipedia. The gadget's
    appearance here at CES was part of a sex-tech party organized by Pink Visual, a porn
    company which specializes in technology-forward content delivery.

    As an intrepid reporter, I stuck my finger into a RealTouch unit while performer Kirsten
    Price hand-rubbed a nearby, Internet-connected dildo. The sensation was very strange;
    what felt like a whirring, rotating, feathery object made of a moist latex-like material was
    almost polishing my finger. Afterwards, my finger smelled like lube. I'm not going to judge.

    RealTouch is currently available for $249.


    http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2398754,00.asp?obref=obinsite
     
  2. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

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  3. Atomic Wedgie

    Atomic Wedgie Crash Victim

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  4. hidden dragon

    hidden dragon the princess of darkness Staff Member

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    I get a feeling that most people would rather have the cock waved in their face than put in the time trying to figure out how to use dildos and all that properly..
     
  5. gilaet

    gilaet Xanax Service Dog Staff Member

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    teledildonics
     
  6. HeinousMark

    HeinousMark Creepy-Ass Cracka VIP

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    I'm still waiting for WalMart to start selling these:

     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 23, 2014
  7. gilaet

    gilaet Xanax Service Dog Staff Member

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    They'll put the mom n pop dildo shops out of business. :bigcry:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 23, 2014
  8. hidden dragon

    hidden dragon the princess of darkness Staff Member

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    I would so be wanting to fly one of those around.. :c
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 23, 2014
  9. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

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  10. gilaet

    gilaet Xanax Service Dog Staff Member

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  11. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

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  12. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

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  13. Atomic Wedgie

    Atomic Wedgie Crash Victim

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  14. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

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    Wrong forum, assholes. :rolleyes:
     
  15. gilaet

    gilaet Xanax Service Dog Staff Member

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    :stfu:
     
  16. Atomic Wedgie

    Atomic Wedgie Crash Victim

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    [​IMG]
     
  17. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

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    Move this thread, naz. :toptip:
     
  18. gilaet

    gilaet Xanax Service Dog Staff Member

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    conflict poster
     
  19. GHP

    GHP New Member Banned User

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    The Crystal Dicks
    Are being built
    A thousand girls
    A thousand thrills
    A million ways to spend
    You're time 'til we get back

    :ghp:
     
  20. Super Mario

    Super Mario Well-Known Member

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    ever you turned staff I have been all:jerk: about you.