Entertainment A 'woods porn' thread

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Airwolf, May 27, 2016.

  1. Airwolf

    Airwolf Well-Known Member

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    Did you ever find woods porn as a kid? How did that work out for you?

    My friend found a few Hustler mags under a bridge near his house and he kept them in a brown paper sack up a tree. We only looked at them a few times, but I clearly remember some bizarre ads with a guy with two cocks and a chick with a long rope of cum hanging from her mouth, I barely even understood what the fuck was going on.
     
  2. DrivenByDemons

    DrivenByDemons Spinoff Jesus Staff Member

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    Go fuck your sister
     
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  3. Pussy Tendon

    Pussy Tendon Wet! CUNT!!!!! Gold

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    Dear Penthouse Forum... I never thought this would happen to me.
     
  4. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal What is the charge?

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    I found some in someone's yard under a bush :jj:

    It was probably really awful for a kid to see, like I remember women's legs shackled and being tickled with a feather.

    I brought it to the school bathroom to show off.
     
  5. Stretch5000

    Stretch5000 Well-Known Member

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    Yes, OP, I did. Why is this a thing?

    I've heard comedians talking about this on some podcast before.
     
  6. Bobby Axelrod

    Bobby Axelrod Well-Known Member VIP

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    From about age 8-11 my buddy and I would steal his dad's playboys and keep them in a Tupperware container under a log.

    We also kept a wooden ruler and marker in there so we could keep track of how much our boners grew over the years. Ha!
     
  7. Hank Douglas

    Hank Douglas Well-Known Member

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    No wood porn but I did have the stereotypical 1st jerk to a fuzzy/distorted Spice Channel.
     
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  8. Airwolf

    Airwolf Well-Known Member

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    Oh man... any sword fighting tales you'd like to share?
     
  9. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

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    Those days were like a school holiday. When you look over in the bushes, and see that gleam from a page of a magazine.

    Ground Score!!!
     
  10. Bobby Axelrod

    Bobby Axelrod Well-Known Member VIP

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    No. We'd take turns. One of us would should a BB gun while the other took measurements. It was the honor system. I definitely cheated though.
     
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  11. Pelicanman

    Pelicanman Engorged Member Gold

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    I found a trashbag full of porn mags in the woods. Which I promptly confiscated.
     
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  12. regult

    regult 4 Goals...

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    Ha, yes. My buddy and I found a Penthouse behind some bushes at the park. I was about 9 or 10 at the time. I was fascinated with the vagina, but I didn't know what to do with that weird tingly feeling I was getting in my loins.

    Before my buddy left for the Air Force after high school, we randomly dumped all of his porn mags in various places across town. He didn't want his parents to find them, and we wanted to pay the favor forward to whomever allowed us to see our first spread.
     
  13. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner! VIP

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    This guy's pining to be the next WIAW :lol:
     
  14. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Proud Schtick POTY 2016 Gold

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    Funny you ask. When I was like 8 my friends and I went to a wooden fort the teenage boys had in a field and we found playboys. We debated whether the boobs were real or not and couldn't figure out the hairy bush.
     
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  15. Penelope

    Penelope VIP Extreme Gold

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    "So I'm coming to...and I say to the guy, what are you still doing here? I thought I told you to go fuck your mother?!"

    "Bam, BOOM..."
     
  16. Winst

    Winst Well-Known Member VIP

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    I found a copy of OUI Magazine once out behind a supermarket/strip mall....my sister's boyfriend at the time took it away from me.

    One of my friends once found a copy of High Society Magazine....and he let me "borrow" it for a few days and nights.
     
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  17. Winst

    Winst Well-Known Member VIP

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    Here's is an interesting true story that was once written into a script for a film that was produced.

    I had a friend that had big stacks of adult magazines...mostly current Playboys and Penthouses from the time.
    He couldn't keep them at home...because of his parents searching his room and belongings etc.
    So guess where he kept/stored them and "read" them all etc.....he kept them at his local religious institution.....where his
    parents forced him to go and regularly attend school and services etc.

    It was an amusing set up and kind of brilliant on his part.

    There was a large mens bathroom down in the basement of the religious institution.....he built a secret hiding place in one
    of the walls of the bathroom. It had a hidden secret door to get to the storage space....without knowing that it was there you
    could never tell from the outside that there was a secret door there..let alone the hidden storage space behind the not
    so easy to spot door.

    He had a grandfather that was an instructor with the OSS during WW2 that taught him some good techniques about how to hide things and how to create
    difficult to locate storage spots etc.

    Good stuff.
    Fun times.

    Learn young.
    Apply always.


    ..... :whistle:
     
  18. Ganggreen87

    Ganggreen87 Well-Known Member

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    There was literally a network of hundreds of thousands of dollars of tree houses and forts built in my town to hide porn mags. In every fort or treehouse there was sure to be porns hidden under the carpet or in the wall.

    The best is when you would raid a rival neighborhoods stash and bring them back to your treehouse. What would they do tell your parents?

    Good times
     
  19. Nerd

    Nerd Freak McNasty VIP

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    We lived in scuzzy apartments with these open, communal extensions at the end of some units. We called them cubbyholes. The cubbyholes were randomly littered with waterlogged Hustlers and shit, and the boys would chase us around with them until we kicked their balls in.
     
  20. Stretch5000

    Stretch5000 Well-Known Member

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    That sounds awesome. I'd watch a feature length motion picture about this.