Actual Lines Form Military Performance Appraisals "OERS" (Officers Efficiency Reports)

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by RenchFries, Aug 21, 2015.

  1. RenchFries

    RenchFries Official Dawgshed Dutch representative VIP

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    • 1. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
    • 2. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
    • 3. A room temperature IQ.
    • 4. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
    • 5. A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
    • 6. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
    • 7. A prime candidate for natural deselection.
    • 8. Bright as Alaska in December.
    • 9. One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.
    • 10. Donated his body to science before he was done using it.
    • 11. Fell out of the family tree.
    • 12. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
    • 13. Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
    • 14. He is so dense, light bends around him.
    • 15. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
    • 16. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
    • 17. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
    • 18. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
    • 19. It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
    • 20. One neuron short of a synapse.
    • 21. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
    • 22. Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
    • 23. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
    :lol:
     
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  2. walterHwhite

    walterHwhite Heisenberg

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  3. SorryBoff

    SorryBoff Well-Known Member

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    I think #7 is actually a death threat.
     
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  4. Asshat13

    Asshat13 Well-Known Member

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    from
     
  5. sstressed

    sstressed enhancement toker

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    in the air force, we'd get APRs -airman performance reports. i got called into our new bosses' office one day. he asked me how i could get eights or nines out of nine on performance, ability to learn, efficiency in getting the job done, and a three out of nine in military bearing, being in conformance with my uniform and hair and other things to do with being a good airman. i didn't have an answer.

    he never liked me for some reason. :yay:
     
  6. yosemite sam

    yosemite sam Camel Jockey

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    Best part is half the retards doing the eval don't fare much better.