Shop Now At Amazon

After painstakinInternet research, I've determined that Colin Kaepernick is not a Jew

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Gomez, Feb 3, 2013.

  1. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    8,036
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    15,434
    Likes Received:
    976
    After painstaking Internet research, I've determined Colin Kaepernick is not a Jew

    [TABLE]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #FFFFFF, colspan: 4, align: center"]
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD][/TD]
    [TD="class: leftNav"]
    [/TD]
    [TD]
    [TABLE="class: midText, align: center"]
    [TR]
    [TD="class: bigText, colspan: 2, align: center"]Colin Kaepernick
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD]
    [TABLE]
    [TR]
    [TD="colspan: 5, align: center"]Jew Score:
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="class: hugeText, colspan: 5, align: center"]4
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD][/TD]
    [TD="align: center"][/TD]
    [TD="width: 40, align: center"][/TD]
    [TD="width: 40, align: center"][/TD]
    [TD="width: 5"][/TD]
    [/TR]
    [/TABLE]
    [/TD]
    [TD="class: normalText, width: 360"]November 3, 1987 —

    Let us guess. You were watching the game, and your mind started to trail. Maybe the game got boring. Maybe the chips got stale. Maybe the rube sitting next to you couldn't shut up about his fantasy team. Maybe the blonde across the room, the one you've been trying to make eye contact with the whole night, approached that rube instead. So you started wondering, what's the deal with Colin Kaepernick? That's a rather hard-to-pronounce name, isn't it? Could he possibly be... Jewish?
    So you took out your phone, googled "Colin Kaepernick Jewish" and — voila! — you are here. Welcome! Enjoy your stay.
    We're Jew or Not Jew, the website dedicated to figuring out if various celebrities, historical figures, and — yes! — fictional characters are Jewish. It's a good time. Our database has over 1500 profiles of everyone ranging from Marilyn Monroe (Jew) to Abraham Lincoln (Sadly, Not a Jew) to George Costanza (you'll have to read to find out!). Various sports figures are here as well. For example, Kaepernick is not the first Super Bowl quarterback whose possible Jewishness has been pondered. Take a look at the links below. Click on Ben Roethlisberger... Read on!
    So, yes, Kaepernick. Honestly, we don't see how anyone could possibly think he is Jewish. The long last name is not Jewy at all. His skin tone is not exactly prominent in Jews (although you HAVE TO read the profile of Yaphet Kotto!). Yes, he is adopted, but his parents are goyishe Germans. Finally, he has tattoos of Bible verses. Yeah, he's not a Jew. Not even close.
    So, now that you know that, you can go back to watching the game. Or maybe try to talk to that blonde. Or, you know, stay a while. Don't you want to find out if Harrison Ford and Scarlett Johansson are Jewish? Of course, you do! Verdict: Not a Jew.
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [/TABLE]

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [/TABLE]
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2013
  2. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    8,036
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    15,434
    Likes Received:
    976
    *painstaking Internet
    SORRY
     
  3. Chriza

    Chriza You look like a tree! VIP

    Reputations:
    14,582
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    113,928
    Likes Received:
    3,847
    That's a lotta fail for one thread
     
  4. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    8,036
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    15,434
    Likes Received:
    976
    See Post #2, son.
     
  5. Capn Crud

    Capn Crud The pride of Cucamonga VIP

    Reputations:
    25,331
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    43,365
    Likes Received:
    760
    xxxxx
     
  6. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    8,036
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    15,434
    Likes Received:
    976
    just read the text
    who needs pictures? :dontknow:
     
  7. gilaet

    gilaet Police Truck Administrator

    Reputations:
    154,842
    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2010
    Messages:
    67,957
    Likes Received:
    4,752
    I was gonna make a spinoff thread but it's too much work.
     

Share This Page