Age is a dirty mistress.

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Slippy, Aug 1, 2016.

  1. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP

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    In this thread, we bitch about the inevitable woes of the cunt known as "age".

    Allow me to start:

    tennis elbow

    I've never played a game of fucking tennis in my whole stupid mother-fucking life. wtf
     
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  2. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP

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    Both elbows. I can no longer pick up a pot, a pan...........a BEER.....without wincing or dropping. I refer to it as "foositis".

    PS: Got a new foosball table! :dance:
     
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  3. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

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    Gumdrop! Time to thrust! :madsex:
     
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  4. HelloCleveland!

    HelloCleveland! Well-Known Member

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    My back. There are times when it tightens up and I can barely get up off the couch or out of bed.

    I know, I know, read Dr Sarno's book, it's all in my head :rolleyes:
     
  5. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP

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    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the back. It's one of the first things to go. :sad:

    You will have to take the lead, sexypants. I cannot hold myself up right now. :hump:

    Here's another theory: If my dog put her back out, or her leg joints, or her hips - I'd have the humanity and decency to help her out with pain pills for a bit, and then humanely put her down.

    WHY CAN'T WE PUT OURSELVES DOWN????? OR OUR FAMILY MEMBERS WHO CAN NO LONGER WIPE THEIR OWN ASSES??????

    fucking stupidity
     
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  6. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner! VIP

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    Oh
     
  7. FOXXXONE

    FOXXXONE wut?

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    Yerp.... Fuck aging
     
  8. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner! VIP

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    Ok
     
  9. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP

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    Clearly one of the board intellects.........
     
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  10. Dream Theater

    Dream Theater DAWGS E-BULLY Squad Gold

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    My fucking inner elbow is killing me too... I looked that shit up and I think what I have is called golfers elbow.. I do not participate in that faggotry.. Chasing a ball around and paying a fortune to do it.
     
  11. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner! VIP

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    Why are you attacking me?
     
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  12. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP

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  13. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP

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    Golf is gay.

    Played 18 holes last weekend.

    Sucked as bad as usual, hurt like a bitch afterwards - but I got a cute outfit to do it in. :yes:
     
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  14. Bro

    Bro Corporate Fascist Gold

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    Tennis elbow or not, I'd still throw you a bang.
     
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  15. wigtropolis

    wigtropolis Well-Known Member

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    jerking takes a toll
     
  16. Dream Theater

    Dream Theater DAWGS E-BULLY Squad Gold

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    I'd follow you around the course to watch you bending over to place and pick up balls. :jerk:
     
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  17. Gwarn1

    Gwarn1 Worlds poorest sugar daddy VIP

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    I hurt my back wiping my ass last week
     
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  18. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Maker of Lists Gold

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    I'd still smooch you where you poop.
     
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  19. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP

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    I'd worry about my hips.
    I'd worry about your hips.

    So true. I've got to learn how to masturbate with my feet. :down:
     
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  20. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP

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    Did she appreciate it though?