Another excellent example of tact by the TSA.

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by datchguy, Feb 10, 2014.

  1. datchguy

    datchguy New Member Banned User

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    [h=1]Cancer victim humiliated by TSA agents at checkpoint[/h]
    http://rt.com/usa/tsa-agents-humiliate-cancer-victim-404/

    Thanks 107th Congress, thanks Bush!
     
  2. TehLivingDeath

    TehLivingDeath New Member Banned User

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    They hire some real fucking losers for that TSA, boy. I had one agent refer to me and some dame who were picked for random inspection as "pieces of property". I started getting ignorant with him, but in the end didn't feel like being detained an missing out on my all-expenses-paid trip to Cabo.

    I always get picked for the "random" inspections. My boss finds it hilarious.
     
  3. datchguy

    datchguy New Member Banned User

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    One immigration official got pissy with me on Friday when I asked him "What in the cocksucking fuck is 'Exit Control'?"

    Apparently after the immigration kiosks, standing in line to talk to an immigration official, you still have to show your passport yet once more at Exit Control. :facepalm:
     
  4. SIPAWITZ

    SIPAWITZ Bialy Whore Banned User

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    Jennifer will laugh at this
     
  5. TehLivingDeath

    TehLivingDeath New Member Banned User

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    I didn't bother putting my passport away entering and leaving Mexico.
     
  6. Anyonenow

    Anyonenow Well-Known Member

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    I believe it is to make certain that Illegals do NOT leave the U.S.
    Who else is going to care for all those chimneys?
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2014
  7. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

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    I see what you did there...
     
  8. greyt

    greyt Well-Known Member

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    I don't fly very often but every time I've flown in or out of the states it has been a breeze. :dontknow:
     
  9. itpdude

    itpdude New Member

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    It seems most TSA guys are decent but, man, there are so many notable bad ones that it makes the entire thing look like a gaggle of monkeys humping footballs.

    This one guy in Newark called out to me "where are the assless chaps" because I was wearing cowboy boots. Look, plane travel is made much easier with cowboy boots because they can be slipped on and slipped off. Easier than tying and untying shoes, IMO. But anyways, this guy had to make a "point."

    And now with the nuke machines, fuck that. I got X-Rayed plenty as a kid (I was pretty damn clumsy and did dangerous stuff; bad combo) so I opt for the pat-down. This works well for me: I go up to the guy who is about to pat me down with a scowl and then break out into a smile and say, "don't worry. I'm not gonna act like you're raping me. . . . unless, well, you want things to go that way."

    That generally relaxes the guy, he does his thing, and I go on my merry fuckin' way. These people, for the most part, are just trying to do their jobs.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2014
  10. itpdude

    itpdude New Member

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    There are a ton of vids on YT about women getting the "pat-down" treatment from female TSA agents.

    Anyone else think it would be a GREAT idea to have flaming gay guys do the female pat-downs? I think things would go pretty smooth if some Queen were patting a woman down and when she says, "you aren't going to touch my privates, are you?"

    "Believe you me honey, after being squeezed out of my mother's vagina, it cured me of any desire to touch one again. But it's my job."
     
  11. TehLivingDeath

    TehLivingDeath New Member Banned User

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    Did you inform the dumb motherfucker that ALL chaps are assless?
     
  12. TehLivingDeath

    TehLivingDeath New Member Banned User

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    The TSA agents in Cedar Rapids were pretty much dickheads. The ones in Austin -- cool as fuck. :dontknow:
     
  13. datchguy

    datchguy New Member Banned User

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    At Newark the TSA made me throw my water bottle away after I had bought it at the airport in Canada and had it on the plane the entire flight. I guess they figured I wouldn't blow up the plane with a 20oz Dasani bottle, but the terminal I was at would be fair game. :facepalm:
     
  14. itpdude

    itpdude New Member

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    No. I didn't engage the guy at all.

    Arguing with idiots is fun to watch on TV, like Larry does on Curb Your Enthusiasm, but in real life? It's a hassle.

    I have to be in an argumentative mood. When I fly, I'm not argumentative because it's already stressful enough (for me) to fly.
     
  15. Kool

    Kool Well-Known Member

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    :artiejj:c,mon that's funny
     
  16. datchguy

    datchguy New Member Banned User

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    Do you have to take Dramamine or do you not get air sickness?
     
  17. itpdude

    itpdude New Member

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    It probably depends on the day, too.

    Man, you should see the female agents in Atlanta. . . . I have no idea how they can work with those Frito-Lay fingernails. Blech.

    At another airport, I think MSP?, someone left a bag on the floor. Just a bag left on the floor, no one claimed it. I went up to a TSA agent and told him figuring he'd carefully inspect it.

    Nope, he called out, "is this anyone's bag???" and when no one replied, he just rambled through the thing. I half expect, with the media at the time, the thing to blow up in his face.

    Turned out to be some dippy dude who hit the can and left his bag on the floor, assuming no one would take it.
     
  18. rararetard

    rararetard Member

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    I enjoy requesting the pat down instead of the scanners, then while they are feeling me up i whisper that they have soft hands. Really seems to freak a lot of them out lol. Fuck em
     
  19. itpdude

    itpdude New Member

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    No, it's not that. I haven't gotten sick on a plane. It's a control thing. Well, a combo, I guess, but mostly control. The combo of heights, small space, and lack of control make me nervous. I'm okay with small space and lack of control because I'm okay with others driving the car. I'm okay with heights, though I am careful with them. But the combo of height, no control, and the small space of the cabin make me nervous. I pretty much white-knuckle it through, try to read the Sky Mall, not look out the windows, pretend I'm on a train, etc.

    Oh man, this one time I thought the pilot was gonna be a woman and was going to get out and take another flight but it turned out the woman pilot on board was only a passenger.

    :jj:
     
  20. greyt

    greyt Well-Known Member

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    i ate too many pot cookies before getting on a plane and thought I was going to go insane one time. be careful with that.