Ants Survived My Microwave

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Just Me, May 30, 2015.

  1. Just Me

    Just Me VIP Extreme Gold

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    So, this happened a few weeks ago. I wanted to write about it then but it sounds so ridiculously impossible.
    Anyway, sometimes these tiny ants get through somewhere on the kitchen window screen. Just a few here and there.
    On this day I saw none... I got a mug of water and put it in the micro for 1:33. I'm real impatient so I waited there for the countdown: I saw no ants.
    I had my hand on the door opening button thing and as soon as it stopped I opened the door.
    I immediately saw in the back top left corner an ant! It swiftly crawled down the micro and hid under the turning plate.
    Then I saw on the inside of the door another one.
    There was zero time for either ant to get inside when I opened the door. There were none anywhere on the outside. They absolutely had to be in there during the whole 1:33. Even if they managed to get in while it was on they'd still have to die quickly- I assumed.
    Well I just googled it and found that those fuckers often survive the microwave. Unbelievable.
    Heres just the first webpages info about it. Really fascinating, you may think.

    "

    Saturday 05 July 2014


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    A microwave works by passing radio waves at a frequency of 2.45 gigahertz through any food. Radio waves at this frequency have an interesting property: they are absorbed by water and fats. When absorbed, the water or fat molecules start rotating due to the alternating nature of the electric fields of the microwave. This atomic motion is directly converted into energy which is given out as heat.

    Now, coming to the question itself. A number of theories were placed. Here are some of them:

    1. Ants are too small to be affected by microwaves as the wave lengths of these waves are quite large.

    2. Ants contain too little water for them to be affected by the microwave.

    3. Chitin (Ants exoskeleton material) will resist microwaves.

    Microwave beams are standing wave. Such waves always remain in a constant position. So within a microwave there will be places where the energy density will be very high, whereas in others it will be very low. That is why we always have a turntable within microwave ovens in order to make sure that all parts of a meal are heated.

    Ants being relatively small can easily be positioned between these waves, and in the process remain entirely unharmed.

    Ants also have another mechanism to their advantage of microwave survival: they have one of the largest body surface areas to volume ratios. This helps it to cool down really fast, so if an ant were caught in a high-energy zone within the microwave, its body surface area advantage helps it to cool down quickly while moving to a low energy zone. So the mighty ant survives some very intense environments.

    Akash Shah

    Someone has done this experiment before: Microwave Tolerance of Ants.

    Conclusion: It seems the hypothesis was disproved and ants are able to tolerate a microwave for a relatively high amount of time. One area of interest is whether an ant that is allowed to 'free roam' has a better chance of survival then an ant that stays in one spot.

    Xu Beixi

    The reason has to do with the ant's small size and the wave length, which is 12.2cm. The ant is too small to capture sufficient energy to heat. If the wave length was shorter – near the length of the ant – then it would become visible to the microwaves and heat. A box of ants will heat very well and the ants would be killed.
     
  2. Gretsch Man

    Gretsch Man Well-Known Member

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    After the inevitable nuclear holocaust, all that will be left are ants and roaches. After a few million years they'll evolve into sentient beings, and their archaeologists will learn about the previous human civilization and laugh at how badly we fucked everything up
     
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  3. Just Me

    Just Me VIP Extreme Gold

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    The roaches are the worst insect ever, besides bed bugs.
     
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  4. Gretsch Man

    Gretsch Man Well-Known Member

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    I don't think we have bed bugs out here in California. Not yet anyway.

    And me thinks bed bugs are arachnids, not insects. :grad:
     
  5. Gretsch Man

    Gretsch Man Well-Known Member

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    Oh you're right, they're insects.
     
  6. pickles3000

    pickles3000 Well-Known Member Banned User

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  7. Just Me

    Just Me VIP Extreme Gold

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    Arachnids huh? I did not know that. You're lucky you don't have em. I won't even go to the movie theatre as I'm terrified of getting them. Sometimes I read about places in NYC getting infested w/ them: Like theatres and the Gap. Fuck them.
     
  8. Gretsch Man

    Gretsch Man Well-Known Member

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    Actually I was wrong. They're insects. I thought they were more like ticks or mites. You're were correct, sir.

    And yeah, I'm pretty sure they're not out here yet. What a pain in the arse.
     
  9. peterfonda

    peterfonda Well-Known Member

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    And then they'll fuck up themselves.
     
  10. peterfonda

    peterfonda Well-Known Member

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    I don't know how tough those ants are. I easily killed dozens of them with my dad's magnifying glass during hot summer days when I was a kid. Seems to me they can survive nukes but not well-aimed laser beams.
     
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  11. ApeFace

    ApeFace Well-Known Member

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    I thought I read that roaches are relatively clean insects. They're just gross from all of the different shit they walk across.
     
  12. jimmyv

    jimmyv Active Member

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  13. babybear

    babybear r.i.p 8/3/15, Wherewolf of AZ VIP

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    I for one welcome our ant overlords.
     
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  14. joyceface

    joyceface Queen of Everything VIP

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    Ants are a huuuuuuge fucking problem in Floriduh. In fact they have been so bad, I've literally considered moving cause I just fucking hate bugs. Anyway, several years ago, I moved into a brand new sparkling clean apartment. Only problem was the inner workings of the microwave was infested with fucking ants. NO amount of nuking them killed and it wasn't like there was food in there. And you can't spray cause you're gonna be cooking in there.

    I don't know what made me think of this but I put a bowl of water in there. Cooked it on high for 30 minutes. ALL DEAD ANTs after that. I cooked a few more water bowls but pretty much the first one did it. Try that.
     
    Last edited: May 31, 2015
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  15. FCCstandards

    FCCstandards Non-Essential Salooner VIP

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    Yet humans get cancer from the waves, I'm sure of it.
     
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  16. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

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    PETA alerted.
     
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  17. Bristol Chicken

    Bristol Chicken Free Range and Loving It Gold

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    [​IMG]
     
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  18. FCCstandards

    FCCstandards Non-Essential Salooner VIP

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    I bet he was wearing fur too
     
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  19. TheMercenary

    TheMercenary Collecting Light Gold

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    Ants must not have enough water in them to boil from the "micro-waves".

    Only explanation I can pull out of my arse on short notice :derp: