Any of those unfunny Loungers around?

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Gas Face, Jul 4, 2012.

  1. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    Swayze, CMG, KOC, Bobtraw...Where are you? I'm looking not to laugh so I can fall asleep. Hook me up.
     
  2. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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  3. low selfestitle

    low selfestitle Moderator Staff Member

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    S'up, brutha? :lo5:
     
  4. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    Sup Low? Thanks for setting me straight on the reps.
     
  5. wetback

    wetback #1 Asshole VIP

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    :popcorn: come in here so I can pwn you.
     
  6. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    warpath...



    The person that wrote this is a college
    student. Perhaps there is hope for us after all.

    DIVORCE
    AGREEMENT

    THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I
    CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS
    FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

    Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters,etal:

    We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

    Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

    Here is a model separation agreement:

    --Our two groups can equitably divide up the country

    by landmass each taking a similar portion.. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can

    come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

    --We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.

    --You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

    --We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel..

    --You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

    --We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

    --You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.

    --We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockeymoms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

    --We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood

    --You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

    --You can have thepeaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

    --We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

    --You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

    --We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars.

    -- You can have every Volt and Leaf you can find.

    --You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

    --We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

    --We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

    --I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "KumBa Ya" or "We Are the World".

    --We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

    --Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

    Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

    Sincerely,

    John J. Wall

    Law Student and an American

    P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbra Streisand, Ed Asner & ( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you, and don’t forget Alec Baldwin, Miley Cyrus & Lady Gaga.

    P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

    Forward This Every Time You Get It ! Let's Keep This Going, Maybe Some Of It Will Start Sinking In.
     
  7. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    webon.
     
  8. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    Why is Longhorn J posting that?
     
  9. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    I need to fall asleep. Please get one of those Loungers to bore me. Please.
     
  10. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    Slightly intox :)
     
  11. PauleyWalnuts

    PauleyWalnuts New Member

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    SUp faggit, that's just how I greet all, good to see ya man, here better, there worse
     
  12. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    Ditto.
    :LO5:
     
  13. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    P Dubz!!!!!!! Sup kiddo?
     
  14. PauleyWalnuts

    PauleyWalnuts New Member

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    Hey LJ, whats up
     
  15. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    You could try reading your own posts in their absence :dontknow:
     
  16. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    :coffee:
     
  17. VarmintSam

    VarmintSam Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    Fucking awesome, reps
     
  18. PauleyWalnuts

    PauleyWalnuts New Member

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    Dude, I know you from over there, u had the best av I think eva, that asain broad with the tits movin with the, you get it, good to see ya amigo.
     
  19. Atomic Wedgie

    Atomic Wedgie Crash Victim

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    Mercy post
     
  20. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    I get it. I miss that av. I can't find it