Anyone else drop a toilet paper wrapper on the seat in public places?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by BatmiteReturns, Apr 21, 2015.

  1. BatmiteReturns

    BatmiteReturns Well-Known Member

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    Whenever I make a deposit on the road I *always* paper up the seat (sometimes two or three ply depending on the shitter).

    Anyone else?
     
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  2. ApeFace

    ApeFace Well-Known Member

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    I believe it's called nesting. Like a bird, I would use an entire roll if available to build a 6" cushion between my ass and the seat. I did some bad coke at a bar once and had to shit so bad. The bathroom was a toilet in the middle of the room. Worse than a jail cell. It was awful. It had to be like ten years ago but I still remember the horror. Barely enough paper to wipe. I had to make direct contact with the seat. I ran home when it was done. Like a rape victim, I jumped into the shower to scrub myself down.
     
  3. johnfreeman1

    johnfreeman1 Well-Known Member

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    I don't shit in public toilets
     
  4. boognishstern

    boognishstern Well-Known Member

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    :rolleyeup: this X 100
     
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  5. boognishstern

    boognishstern Well-Known Member

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    carry baby wipes with you as well, that's one thing gunko is right about. you can get small packs the size of a wallet that'll fit in pocket.
     
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  6. MrWarmth

    MrWarmth ADORABLE DEPLORABLE Gold

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    I hover. And then I drop a wad of paper into the bowl to cut down on splashing.
     
  7. ILOOKLIKEBETH

    ILOOKLIKEBETH ever since than i've been the champ

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    i use a ass gasket every time
     
  8. BatmiteReturns

    BatmiteReturns Well-Known Member

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    I remember watching the first American Pie movie and laughing my ass off at the kid who put toilet paper on the seat.

    I thought what a moron he was.

    How little I knew.......
     
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  9. EmperorsNewCaps

    EmperorsNewCaps Member

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    I even toilet paper my home base, bro. Though that's mainly because I got tired of bracing myself for the ice-cold seat in the winter months.

    Yeah, enjoy the sphincter cancer there, boyo.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/a...skin-Chemical-wipes-cause-itchy-red-rash.html

    Just remember, next time you think Stern is right about one thing, ask yourself "what the fuck did I just type?"
     
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  10. Robert Higgins

    Robert Higgins Well-Known Member VIP

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    Absolutely. I even use a paper towel to open the door when I exit a public toilet (at work or out in the world). Just listen to how many people don't was their hands after going to the bathroom.


    People are disgusting.
     
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  11. BatmiteReturns

    BatmiteReturns Well-Known Member

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    See, I do that as well.

    I don't have OCD but I am in and out of peoples homes all day long doing service calls. I carry a giant bottle of hand sanitizer with me in the car and I use it all day long.
     
  12. Mr Pink

    Mr Pink Well-Known Member

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    Gary Del'Fuhfahtee said once that he doesn't gasket-up. Bareback for him. Gross big-toothed monster.
     
  13. BatmiteReturns

    BatmiteReturns Well-Known Member

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    I remember Gary saying he always does it, and sometimes he will pack two or three layers on there depending on the place.
     
  14. boognishstern

    boognishstern Well-Known Member

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    meh, been using wipes for 10+ years & it's working for me. no roids, no eczema & no cancer according to my last physical...and my butthole is always clean!
     
  15. ohmicah

    ohmicah Real Gad About Town

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    I'd take a roll of toilet paper with me and go in the woods before I'd line a toilet seat. That's only if the toilet was too disgusting to use.
     
  16. Mr Pink

    Mr Pink Well-Known Member

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    My memory is pretty good with stupid stuff like this but I couldn't find it on Mark's Friggin so I'll take your work for it.

    Jackie on the other hand, doesn't lay paper. Maybe that's what I was thinking of.
     
  17. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    I once held my shit in for a whole week at summer camp because the restroom was so gross.
     
  18. Head Censor

    Head Censor Turgid Member VIP

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    If we can make the assumption that his ass is exposed to even a tiny fraction of the germs that live in his mouth, then there's nothing on any toilet seat in the world that's going to harm him.
     
  19. Zyro

    Zyro Well-Known Member

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    I remember this because I made a clip of this part.

    http://www.marksfriggin.com/news12/3-5.htm#mon - The Doody Investigation. 03/05/12. 7:35am

    It doesn't mention it in the description, but Gary says "I'm down to double paper in that bathroom".
     
  20. Zyro

    Zyro Well-Known Member

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    A-fuckin'-men. I only shit once a day, not even that, so I can coordinate my shits to be at home. I will hold it and suffer for hours than go in a public toilet. I have shit at work, but I'd say my ratio is less than one shit per year at work. I hate doing it, its fucking nasty. I've actually aborted a few attempts to shit at work, because once I got in there, something in there made me turn around and leave.
     
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