Anyone have the Professional Development waste of time goals you have to do each year at work?

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Tranquil, Mar 28, 2015.

  1. Tranquil

    Tranquil Well-Known Member

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    I have to come up with 3 goals for the upcoming year at my job. Why the fuck is this useful? I just want to work, and be as efficient as possible, fucking goals. They are all made up for the last 7 years and just slow me down because I have to pretend like I'm doing them, instead of actually doing work and making money for the company.

    I can't even think of 3 at the moment, anyone have any good suggestions that I can use, so I can tell my manager something good, so I can get back to work?
     
  2. DrivenByDemons

    DrivenByDemons Spinoff Jesus Staff Member

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    I'm sure someone in this vast world we live in does.
     
  3. Just Peachy

    Just Peachy VIP Extreme Gold

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    I've had to do those before.

    Google for generic goals. It's very helpful. :grad:
     
  4. Tranquil

    Tranquil Well-Known Member

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    Yea, I've used them all up, I was hoping someone here could help out, these things suck, so pointless.
     
  5. idiotbox

    idiotbox Looking for a dime and found a quarter. VIP

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    Our goals are "pre-defined" and they are bullshit. They are assigned numbers and then there are stretch goals. It's all corporate bullshit that gives some asshole something to do.

    My boss calls me recently to discuss my yearly. Asked me what I did well. I said have you heard any complaints? ok guess I did well. Then asshole face asked me what I did wrong. again, I said have you had any complaints.

    Fuck reviews.
     
  6. Stew Nod

    Stew Nod Hello VIP

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    Set a goal to make more interesting threads?
     
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  7. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    Almost everywhere I've worked I've had to set bullshit goals. And then at the end of the year had to come up with creative excuses as to why I didn't make them. Just remember all of the projects that took you forever and say you were too busy on them to make your goals. Also, you can say you were working 60 hours a week just to catch up. These area the standard excuses for not meeting the standard goals.
     
  8. FunnyFarm2

    FunnyFarm2 voice of reason VIP Gold

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    We have that stupid stuff where I work too. Only one goal is really needed. To go home after your shift.
     
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  9. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    We have to do that crap every year. Over time you learn to do them in reverse so that you always fulfill your goals by annual review time.
     
  10. HelloCleveland!

    HelloCleveland! Well-Known Member

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    I'm self employed, so none of that bullshit.

    However, I have to do 30 hours of professional development every 2 years for my professional license. Ideally, they want you to attend seminars and conferences. But I'm a hermit, so I just take 30 hours of online courses in the comfort of my home and that satisfies the requirement.
     
  11. Ben Dover

    Ben Dover Well-Known Member

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    I just did mine a little over a month ago. It's really just putting a series of big words together to make it look like you give a shit about your goals, when the company's only going to give you a 3% raise at the most anyway.
     
  12. jaw_belize

    jaw_belize Well-Known Member VIP

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    Mentor a coworker.


    I use that every time
     
  13. cetiya

    cetiya Lunatic VIP

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    I have to make up bogus goals every time I have an evaluation. To be honest my only goal is to not get fired. That wont work so I say some bs about working as a team, and to learn how to handle the insane stress. I can't think of the third one. Noone ever follows through so its just a waste of time.
     
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  14. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    one year management had us complete surveys to determine the mood of the corporate culture. they swore in print that the surveys were anonymous. I was pretty sure they were not, so i decided to test them. i filled out the entire survey honestly, and at the end in the free-form comment area i wrote "this company makes me want to hurt myself".

    2 days later my management came over to talk to me and show "humane concern" with my well-being. i looked at them, smiled and said "real anonymous, huh?" they never had us do that kind of survey again.
     
  15. cetiya

    cetiya Lunatic VIP

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    Me too! Every year we are supposed to fill out a job satisfaction survey. Every year I toss it in the shredder. A nurse actually got fired for saying what she really felt. I don't know what she said, but it freakedout everybody. Bastards. They know exactly who said what.


    UOTE="newcastlefan, post: 8996795, member: 1359"]one year management had us complete surveys to determine the mood of the corporate culture. they swore in print that the surveys were anonymous. I was pretty sure they were not, so i decided to test them. i filled out the entire survey honestly, and at the end in the free-form comment area i wrote "this company makes me want to hurt myself".

    2 days later my management came over to talk to me and show "humane concern" with my well-being. i looked at them, smiled and said "real anonymous, huh?" they never had us do that kind of survey again.[/QUOTE]
     
  16. ChuckZ

    ChuckZ You're so pusillanimous, oh yea.

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    They have us do that, self reviews, now they want us to do a little review of the boss. I miss the old days without the bs.
     
  17. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    everyone at work submits the same review of their manager each year: "our management hierarchy is doing a good job. its the other areas that are problematic." we're not stupid: we know the surveys are not anonymous.
     
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  18. nextlevel

    nextlevel You're so amazing

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    1. Get weekly massages
    2. Read more
    3. Meditate daily
     
  19. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    #3 helps immensely
     
  20. keywordpk

    keywordpk Perpetual Geek Gold

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    I'm too busy working to worry about personal development goals. I made up a few a couple years ago and have used them ever since. My manager doesn't say a word...I brought in over 4 million in sales last year. They leave me alone for the most part and let me do my thing.
     
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