News anyone here masturbate while driving, or see masturbaters?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MilkyDischarge, Dec 31, 2015.

  1. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Se suelto el diablo Gold

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    THE MANY MASTURBATING MOTORISTS OF MY LIFE
    After witnessing eleven different men pleasuring themselves in public, I began to think maybe I was at fault. A closer look at the psychology of exhibitionism, and a cathartic car-side confrontation, helped me look away.
    "Some of you sitting there with your cock in your hand
    Don’t get you nowhere, don’t make you a man..."


    - John Lennon, “I Found Out”

    I’m at a red light in Los Angeles on Melrose and Gower. A Honda Civic pulls up beside me and I unwillingly cringe. The rest is ritual: The light changes and I casually let my vehicle lag a bit behind. Then, I gingerly crane my neck to cop a semi-aerial shot. Cool, the driver’s left hand is steering. But what I desperately wanted to know is which stick he’s clutching onto with his right.

    For years I was paranoid I’d catch a driver jerking off, his hopes of running into some slow-moving road prey answered by the unlucky likes of me. I mean, it has happened eleven times over the course of my life. Yes, I’ve caught that manymen whacking off behind the wheel in several cities across North America, including Montreal, Vancouver, Toronto and L.A.

    Because so many male masturbating motorists have stroked their way into my life, I used to instinctively scope out crotches. Fortunately, professionals believe my reaction is to be expected.

    “Sometimes when a person has been traumatized, they pay more attention to their surroundings, scanning for things that have scared them in the past,” says Dr. Dean Haddock, a licensed clinical psychologist and marriage, family and child counselor, as well as an expert on sexually violent predators.

    The first handful of random occurrences were highly disturbing — the site of an, alas, always yucky-looking man beating his boner whether I liked it or not.



    “You were the perfect victim,” says Dr. Renee Sorrentino, a forensic psychiatrist, director of the Institute for Sexual Wellness, and an expert in the evaluation and treatment of individuals with problematic sexual behaviors. She adds that girls between ten and fourteen are the most common victims of inappropriate behavior. “Not only were you by yourself, you were a kid, so vulnerability was increased and detection less likely.”

    As a more mature young adult, I would have yelled, kicked, called 911 or at the very least taken down his license plate number. But none of that happened then. Instead, this perv revolted me, violated me, and used me as some sort of live ammunition in order to unload. And so did the second and the third and the fourth — the guy in the cruising Cadillac who glared at me while I was rollerblading, the one who creeped around the Vanier College campus in Montreal when I was a college student there, and another driving near the theater where I was going to see “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.”

    By jerk-off number nine my paranoia had climaxed into a morbid fascination. I was 25 and working as a researcher for a British production company called September Films, which was developing a series about the seedy side of Los Angeles. Our office was ensconced on the second story of a building in Studio City.

    One day, I was sipping coffee when I turned my head to look out the window, only to catch yet another motorist trying to beat more than the traffic over the course of his morning commute.
    What the hell was it, after all, that compelled a man to whip it out on Ventura and Vineland — and at that time of day no less? Moreover, why was I coming across all these mobile monkey-spankers?

    * * *

    To fully come to grips with the phenomenon at hand, I decided to conduct an informal poll by posting an ad on Craigslist, calling out to men to share why they might engage in such auto-erotic behavior of the most literal kind. I mostly heard from distraught women instead. Accounts came streaming in from San Francisco all the way to Seville, Spain, proving that male masturbating motorists are indeed an international bunch.

    I did get some responses from men though, chronicling their most carnal of indiscretions. Slowly, I began noticing the subtle variations in the stories and in the perpetrators themselves.

    Dr. Sorrentino, who has more than 10 years experience working with sex offenders and has served as an expert witness in numerous trials,

    agrees that there are different psychological categories of public masturbators. She believes some of the men I encountered may suffer from a “hypersexual disorder,” which manifests in the form of compulsive masturbation. For instance, I did catch a man in a phone booth and not a car, leering at me while frantically servicing himself. There definitely was an air of desperation.

    “So in lay terms, a hypersexual is someone whose sexual appetite is higher … compared to others that fall under that same sex, gender, and age bracket,” Sorrentino says. “They are thinking about sex and engaging in sexual behavior a whole lot more than their peers.” This obsession gets in the way of relationships, careers, and normal everyday functions. “I am also impressed by how guys can drive and masturbate at the same time,” Sorrentino adds. “But that’s a side note.”

    These men are not getting an erection due to the presence of a female target. Sorrentino says “they just need to be masturbating, and it so happens that they are in the car and that [a woman has] seen them.”

    From the emails and my experience, I recognized a second group of masturbating motorists who are self-righteous and embody an air of entitlement. They don’t necessarily thrive on getting caught.

    Take the marketing executive from Jersey who emailed me, claiming to be worthy of a doctorate in masturbation “if it were an academic field of study.” He readily admitted to keeping a towel — crusty, no doubt — in his backseat for convenience and cleanliness. According to him, being caught is irrelevant. To drive himself over the edge, all he needs is to masturbate to the thought of being surrounded by thousands of unsuspecting commuters.

    Another man who wrote to me from London could slide into this category as well. He argued that whoever catches him stroking and steering is just asking for it. “Everyone in their car expects a reasonable amount of privacy,” he wrote. “People eat, put on make-up, and get dressed in their vehicles. What I do there is my business. Whether or not you choose to look is yours.”

    The most hazardous offenders are the guys who get off by startling strange women. Be assured that by the time they’re gripping the wheel with sticky hands, they’ve already flashed their swollen cocks and mischievous smiles to dozens of others. These guys are class act exhibitionists.

    “In [the exhibitionist’s] fantasies he believes that people and/or women want to see his penis,” says Dr. Haddock, who began his 40-year career at Atascadero State Hospital working with sex offenders suffering from mental disorders. “The effect on women who see this is unique to each person’s psyche, experience and age.”

    Exhibitionism is the most highly reported paraphilia — an act that involves sexual arousal and gratification tied to a behavior that is extreme or atypical — and is considered a mental disorder. It is characterized by “sexually arousing fantasies or behaviors resulting from exposing one’s genitals to an unsuspecting individual,” according to Sorrentino.

    “What surprises me still is that many of these men are professionals,” Haddock adds about exhibitionists. “They are intelligent and know better, but the thrill of shocking other people is just too much for them to control.”

    Sorrentino suggests that, perhaps as a young boy, the eventual exhibitionist innocently took out his penis and his mother scolded him, generating some excitement for the boy, thus creating a sexual imprint.

    While exhibitionists don’t always masturbate in cars, Sorrentino says that a large percentage choose the vehicle as a favorite place to expose and unload. There they can take refuge, while covering more terrain and eluding prospective pursuit. “They think they may not be seen as easily,” she adds. “I can’t tell you how many guys give this sob story to the police, saying that they were looking at their cell phone or going for a cigarette. It’s easier to come up with an alternative behavior.”

    These guys, of all the masturbator varieties I encountered over the years, just rubbed me the wrong way. I couldn’t comprehend what was so arousing about surprising and shocking a stranger on the street.
    I had, after all, found myself engaging in the female equivalent behavior of freeway fingering before, years ago, as I cruised that long, manure-fragranced stretch of asphalt they call Interstate 5 between San Francisco to L.A.

    The radio was broken. I had no A.C. I was bored as hell. And I wanted to see if Iwould get turned on by flashing someone.

    Little billowy clouds hung low in the sky and my pine freshener swayed gently in the warm sultry breeze as I hiked up my skirt past my hips and placed my left leg on the dash. By the time I reached the L.A. County limits, I’d orgasmed four times. But the motorists didn’t help any. Frustration was the only thing they added. I stopped each time a trucker crawled by. I didn’t want or need to involve their looks of surprise to get off. I had a stockpile of my own titillating fantasies to sift through. I concluded that knowing someone was looking at me — rather than imagining they were — was a turn off for me and not a turn on.

    *from digg
     
  2. AcquiringSignal

    AcquiringSignal Girthy VIP

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    Woah. Lots of words. Need a cigarette.
     
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  3. Lster

    Lster Well-Known Member VIP

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    Holy shit I am not reading all that.

    And yes I jacked off once in the Georgia Highway, it was 3 in the morning and I was driving for 9 hours straight. Just had to do something different. Don't judge me.

    Also why the hell is the asshole in this article looking that closely in other people's cars? Seriously fuck off and watch the road.
     
  4. Chrisboom

    Chrisboom Well-Known Member

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    I did once or twice that I can remember . Was talking to an insanely hot girl at work then on the ride home I had to beat out that aggression .
    When I was reaching the climax I stepped on the gas.....
    almost hit a car on the freeway
    :facepalm:
     
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  5. DrivenByDemons

    DrivenByDemons Spinoff Jesus Staff Member

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    Jesus Christ. Cliffs?
     
  6. FunnyFarm2

    FunnyFarm2 voice of reason VIP Gold

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    It can be a useful tool to keep you awake on a long drive home after a night shift.
     
  7. Shortwave98

    Shortwave98 A-Number 1 Banned User

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    I always wanna go to sleep afterwards.
     
  8. beetlejosh

    beetlejosh I got a head that's large Gold

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    I drove with my hand on my stick and shifted it once,
    when I was 16.

    A buddy gave me a picture from a car show of a chick
    in red lingerie with her whole asshole hanging out in a
    thong.

    I couldn't wait for home.
     
  9. Graveyard

    Graveyard Well-Known Member

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    I'd rather not be put on a sex offender list, so no.
     
  10. Beffquus

    Beffquus Scripta sunt in stellis Gold

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    Does a gf jerking me off count?
     
  11. Stag

    Stag Well-Known Member VIP

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    Obviously these masturbaters are listening to Beth being interviewed.
     
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  12. zutroy

    zutroy Totally nude. Totally flawless.

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    No, but I jacked my buddy off while he was driving. He wanted to do it himself but I convinced him my way was safer.
     
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  13. telecaster

    telecaster Get Yer Ya Ya's Out

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    I've jacked off driving when my GF unbuttoned her shirt and had her tits out....I promptly found a dirt road and bent her over or I would have killed us both on the road or worse. Its not the best idea. Chicks do it all the time or at least its way easier.
     
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  14. meanredhed

    meanredhed Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    Only if a bf getting me off while he's driving does.
     
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  15. Reggae Mistress

    Reggae Mistress Old Catcher's Mitt

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    When I was on road, for business, I would do it almost daily. No shame in my game.
     
  16. Beffquus

    Beffquus Scripta sunt in stellis Gold

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    It was "mutual"...points for that?
     
  17. meanredhed

    meanredhed Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    It started off that way, then I gave him road head.
     
  18. Tranquil

    Tranquil Well-Known Member

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    No, that would be too distracting, I find the nearest fast food joint and go into the bathroom; then take a crap while I take care of business, like any right thinking man would do.
     
  19. Beffquus

    Beffquus Scripta sunt in stellis Gold

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    I hope HE was driving!

    Nuthin' better than road head. Especially on a busy highway like I-95 in Philly...
     
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  20. meanredhed

    meanredhed Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    :haha: Yes he was driving!
     
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