Are you a cocksman?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MilkyDischarge, Aug 28, 2015.

  1. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Proud Schtick POTY 2016 Gold

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    The Cocksman Never Stops Exploring

    The Cocksman recognizes that vaginas can be found all over the world in a variety of situations and he must press his way into that new vaginal territory. The Cocksman knows that different holders of vaginas are found in a large assortment of not only areas, but also circumstances. As previously stated, The Cocksman values diversity, and the chance to interact with a new species of vagina makes his heart quiver. The Cocksman recognizes it is his duty to pursue these vaginas as if they were filled with sunshine and candy canes. Fight on, Cocksmen!

    I should make it clear that The Cocksman thrives on adventure, not only of the vaginal category, but all kinds. When The Cocksman is offered an opportunity of new sights, new experiences and possibly new vaginas, he does not let it pass him by. There are several reasons why The Cocksman is so deadset on embarking into uncharted waters. First, The Cocksman simply loves to blaze new trails. There is just something in his blood that pushes him onward. Second, The Cocksman is on a neverending quest in search of the perfect vagina. The Cocksman knows that in this hunt, he must leave no stone unturned, no pubes uninspected, if he his to have any hope of success. Finally, exploration and adventure make The Cocksman a more captivating person to all people and their genitalias, which is a major component of Cocksmanship. The Cocksman should be able to win over any group with his charm, tales of exploration and unabashed sexuality. It is for all of these reasons that The Cocksman never stops exploring.

    Example A: The last thing Bran wanted to do was run around with Mikey, Data, Chunk and Mouth, but when he found out they were going on a treasure hunt and that Andy, the hot cheerleader, was going to be there, he set off to following them. No obstacle was going to keep him from participating, not even being tied to a chair or having the air let of his bike tires. When he finally caught up with them, they were headed into the tunnels under the Fratelli's house. Bran knew that going underground to chase after the treasure wasn't a safe bet, but he knew there was potential for this to be a caper for the ages, as well as a chance to steal Andy's heart and maybe get into her panties. It'll be no surprise to you that everything worked out for Bran as he handled himself like a true Cocksman.

    Example B: Gary and Wyatt were working on creating a computer program that would design the perfect woman. Partway through, they agreed that this was too much power for them to have as it would certainly create some wild times, which they weren't up to handling. They decided to destroy the program and never speak of it again. As a result, they never made Lisa, she never confronted Chet, there was no rager and the boys never got girlfriends, all because of their lack of Cocksmanship at an early age.
     
  2. larryluncg

    larryluncg Empty VIP

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    Yes.
     
  3. Bryce

    Bryce 2018 POTY, Kimbra Forum Gold

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    I wish...
     
  4. Biff DiBiase

    Biff DiBiase Philanthropist and accountant at Larry, Inc. POTY Stern Forum Gold

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    The term Cocksman always sounded gay to me. Shouldn't you be called a Vagman? Or Gashman? Cocksman sounds like you are into cock. I mean, the Hamburglar was into hamburgers, not Fillet-o-Fish.
     
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  5. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Proud Schtick POTY 2016 Gold

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    I like Gashman a lot better. I can imagine the superhero outfit, pink and red with a beef curtain cape and a clit-like helmet.
     
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  6. Snort

    Snort I came. I saw. I conquered. Gold

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    No.
     
  7. codeine

    codeine Well-Known Member

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    Coschx Schman .... As Howard Pronounces It.
     
  8. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen Seek truth, not confirmation of your opinions VIP

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    Probably, but I have a short attention span so I can't read all that.
    Eminently logical, but think of swordsman.
     
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  9. Rockside7

    Rockside7 VIP Extreme Gold

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    I'm not 100% sure what the definition of Cocksman is but, No, probably not.
     
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  10. The Cocksman

    The Cocksman Well-Known Member

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    I am The Cocksman.
     
  11. JonGnagyBeard

    JonGnagyBeard Well-Known Member

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  12. Tickle Shits

    Tickle Shits In an e-friendship Gold

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  13. JonGnagyBeard

    JonGnagyBeard Well-Known Member

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    Bottom Feeder.
     
  14. Mulletude

    Mulletude Hillbilly DeLuxe VIP

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    I had a buddy who was a ladies man. Always did well with pretty good looking women. One night in a bar, I see him leave with a somewhat average looking, but very overweight gal. I must have had a look of disgust on my face, because an older guy who we were both aquainted with looked at me and said "Hey, he's a cockhound. And a real cockhound don't sort 'em".

    By definition, the guy was right: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Cock Hound&defid=4046023
     
  15. NiggalissCage

    NiggalissCage Well-Known Member

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    I was as a younger man - after marriage I am a sad empty shell of my former self.
     
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  16. JonGnagyBeard

    JonGnagyBeard Well-Known Member

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    Ditto, I feel your pain.
     
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  17. Mulletude

    Mulletude Hillbilly DeLuxe VIP

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    As an old farmer friend of mine sometimes said "I usedta coulda".
     
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  18. Skipnoid

    Skipnoid Lick Me!

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    No. I'm married. But I'll be separated soon. So, maybe? :dontknow:
    Why? You wanna fuck?
     
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  19. Skipnoid

    Skipnoid Lick Me!

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    [​IMG]
     
  20. JonGnagyBeard

    JonGnagyBeard Well-Known Member

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    Aunt Ja-meme-a strikes again.
     
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