Artie Vs Dice

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by smp4life, Jul 19, 2013.

  1. smp4life

    smp4life Member

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    I just listened to this on H101 and boy Artie loses his temper and really gets mean and nasty quick. Ralph catches some shrapnel too.
     
  2. SEGA

    SEGA Permanent Vacation VIP

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    "Can i tell you my favorite Matt Dillon story real briefly?"
     
  3. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun. Gold

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    That just makes me laugh out loud. Classic.
     
  4. IlluminatiJones

    IlluminatiJones New Member

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    Can someone please tell me the history behind this line?
     
  5. Petersauce

    Petersauce Member

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    They had that dude on from the national enquirer ....Mike Walker on and before ripping a giant fart on air he says "can i tell you my favorite matt dillon story real briefly?" I think that's what happened.

    Skip to 6:45

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJNc4DT3tZ0

    Artie's laugh makes my face hurt laughing so hard.
     
  6. cia212

    cia212 Well-Known Member VIP

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    Is this when Dice wanted to go on tour with Artie? And Artie guesses he's responsible for making Dice a star again? A lot of people in comedy get that attitude.
     
  7. cokeen

    cokeen Active Member

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    How long should i wait for the 5 g's ralph???
     
  8. peterfonda

    peterfonda Well-Known Member

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    Stern Show Shuffle is just about the last decent thing left of the HSS, even if the clips have been edited. Listening to Howard trying to get his computer to work on air in the mid '90s was great.
     
  9. sternski

    sternski New Member Banned User

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    ...artie may have failed at killing himself.....but he sure did kill the howard stern show.....the hss post artie is completely different.

    it went from funny and edgy to tame n lame.
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2013
  10. IlluminatiJones

    IlluminatiJones New Member

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    Funny stuff! Thanks for the explanation and the clip. :up:
     
  11. No Head Games

    No Head Games Well-Known Member

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    The Artie vs Dice segment was great. Robin starts piling on Artie at the end and I thought he was going to kill her. I side with Artie on this one. It's fine to wait 2 weeks for money if that is communicated to you upfront but Artie was left in the dark.
     
  12. IlluminatiJones

    IlluminatiJones New Member

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    What makes it so scummy on Dice's part is that he was no babe in the woods when this went down; he knew when stand-ups get paid: THAT FUCKING NIGHT!!!

    And if it's something ridiculous like two weeks later it's on Dice to communicate that.

    "There was an old woman who lived in a shoe, I didn't know getting paid was important to you, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!!!"

    It's a shame that, in the heat of the emotions, Artie wasn't able to hold Dice's feet to the fire, and ask him basic questions like "how long does it usually take for YOU to get paid for a stand-up gig?".

    I think Dice was looking to not pay him at all. He strikes me as one of these scumbags that need "reminding" about paying people................"oh, yeah: that!". :rolleyes:

    He was like AJ Benza after he slapped Stuttering John; both guys CLEARLY in the fucking wrong, both guys wanting to get back in good graces, and both guys being too dumb and proud-retarded to negotiate a happy conclusion.

    So instead, they fight with and insult the guy they're trying to get back in their corner: Benza with Chiasano, Dice with Artie.

    :facepalm:

    And any time anybody starts to feel the slightest bit of sympathy for house-arrest cancer Robin, they should listen to this and the "bro" fight. You'll get knocked back to your senses real quick.

    What Dice was pathetically trying to do in that phone call was worse than what Jackie did to Rodney all those years ago, because Jackie at least eventually hung his head in shame and said "no mas!", but Dice kept on with the "we should do great things!" routine. :rolleyes:

    Lastly, I thought Ben was a sanctimonious cunt during that episode. He thought he was King Solomon or something. Meanwhile, he doesn't know a fucking thing about how the world of stand-up works, and the time-frames when comics usually get paid.

    Howard should have made a bit out of it, gotten together a jury of 12 comedians, and let them decide.

    It would have been 12-0, Artie.
     
  13. Quite Frankly

    Quite Frankly Well-Known Member

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    ^^^

    I don't know, it seems like a high-paying gig like that involves managers & accountants or whatever- it's not like it is at the local dive bar- handing the guy a wad of cash at the end of the night. 2 weeks or more doesn't seem unreasonable, plus there's no way Dice was planning on stiffing him- there must've been a contract.
     
  14. Mr Vengeance

    Mr Vengeance Ladies love cool V. VIP

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    I think Artie was right in this case, in that he (and most comedians) have a policy that they get paid after the gig. Dice for some reason has the payments done after. I seem to recall Dice saying that once his people have a chance to do the books they send out the check. I think Dice really doesn't work with comedians outside his "group" and they are used to the way Dice does his business. Plus, I believe this was the show that also aired on Sirius, and if you heard it, you know that Artie killed and Dice bombed, so Artie likely was the main draw, not Dice at his own show. This just upset Artie even more. In the world of standup, these guys have been stiffed by clubs and others many times, and so it is logical that Artie thought Dice was stiffing him.
     
  15. Bethstampon

    Bethstampon Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Mike walker said this "Matt Damon" thing somewhere during his weekly "guess the fake story" spot on the show....Sal & Richard just thought it was a funny clip out of the many...The Mike Walker ripping an epic fart was captured one time while Mike was waiting via ISDN/phone from L.A. to get on the air, did not know he was being recorded. Lots of funny shit, him playing bongos, making silly noises, and this fart were endless sound drops for the boys.

    Once in a while he would dial in seemingly pretty drunk on Rob Roys...Artie had a field day with that.
     
  16. ScottBaiosPenis

    ScottBaiosPenis Well-Known Member

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    he asked dice exactly that. dice admitted he got half up front and the other half was sent to his manager.
     
  17. slab0meat

    slab0meat negative creep

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    Despite Artie's issues and not always being in the right state of mind, these blow-ups and arguments he's had with people, I pretty much always agree with Artie. Truth comes out and people don't like it.
     
  18. Wangold

    Wangold Well-Known Member

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    Go jerk off to Star Trek Ralph.
     
  19. joyceface

    joyceface Queen of Everything VIP

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    I saw Artie's point, but in the scheme of big time talent/entertainers is it really UNUSUAL to get paid in TWO WEEKS?? I mean I wait 2 weeks for my pay checks? Artie was really put out by it too and it wasn't that he needed the money it was more like it was HIS money and Dice was holding onto it too long and that was wrong. How many employers hold onto to two weeks pay or longer?? it was a dumb reason to get into it but fun to hear them argue.
     
  20. ScottBaiosPenis

    ScottBaiosPenis Well-Known Member

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    well his problem was bringing up this shit on the air. I don't think its that weird
    it took a few weeks to get paid but honestly it sounded like dice was being kind
    of evasive not returning his calls and so on. I get what artie is saying but he
    never made it a point to ask for the money up front that is kind of his fault.
    it also made him sound really desperate for 5 grand. I also think dice had a good
    point neither were selling out enormous venues regularly,had they teammed up with
    a few other comics it could have been a good arrangement for everyone with
    a lot more money involved. artie was into making money but he had no
    biz sense, work smart not hard, dice may act italian but hes a jew at heart.