uncyclopedia- Asian women Asian women are a subclass of girl. They hail from Asia, and come complete with a vagina and two slanted breasts. This generally make them very popular as companions. There is no such thing as an Asian woman with blonde hair and blue eyes, which means that the valley girl or Essex girl culture does not exist in the same fashion as it does in western countries, however be warned the Gyaru (ギャル?) culture is still alive and well. One thing is clear: the Asian Woman has only one goal in life - to please. Asian Women you! All you need to impress an Asian woman is a credit card with a significantly large credit limit! This will make them very happy and they will giggle a lot, which is as cute as a boatload of kittens going over Niagara Falls on a dare. Asian women consume less red meat than their Caucasian counterparts, and so have a lower hip fracture rate than western women. They are often "fit"(attractive), and can be classified as "spinners" (petite). But they still have better breasts than any other woman, unless they are from another planet, or dimension, or universe. Some white men are afflicted with a terrible infection called yellow fever. Those who suffer from this tragic affliction see Asian women as the supreme creation of Goddess. Oftentimes they also see them as passive objects that they can dominate, or maybe just women who can screw really well and enjoy an exotic dinner, often at the same time. Political influence of Asian women Mao said, in his speech "Spread Legs and The Cultural Revolution: A Chinese Woman’s Duty", "Men are paper tigers. It is a Chinese Chick’s Socialist duty is to control and dominate her man; her man's balls firmly in her purse. Western women poisoned with the imperialist lie of feminism are like running dogs and are weak. What is a true bastion of Iron? It is the masses, the millions upon millions of hot, horny Chinese Chicks—this is the great People's Liberation Army. Such an army will be invincible! Your Twat-Cum-Fu will overpower and annihilate the. American men are ripe for the picking. Political power grows in the warm, wet and tight Tunnel Of Love and your Tunnels are like no other! Your Peach is more powerful than opium and can be used to control your man. Look hot, ladies, and hook foreign men with virtue, love and kinky sex. Your sugarcoated bullets will defeat them. The People's Liberation Army of Hot Chinese Chicks has an indomitable spirit and it is determined to vanquish all enemies and never to yield. If a woman fails in this duty it disrupts Party unity and she becomes an enemy of the people. Therefore if she fails she must drown herself seven times and then hang herself, as she is unfit as a Chinese woman." Asian women know how not to question the commands of persons in authority and yet remain completely in control. In fact, in many Asian cultures, an Asian woman feels greatly shamed if she loses control of her man. Hence, instead of speaking out, she will keep her feelings locked up deep inside of her and control him with her cum fu. This is generally very effective. Asian women varietals Chinese Women In China you can get a massage, a foot massage, a shampoo, visit a KTV club all with a happy ending. Every hotel in China has a special floor, from that floor you get a phone call and the chick says 您喜欢按摩吗？ "nin xi huan anmo ma?" (Would you like a massage?). She really wants to come up and 打炮 "da pao" (blow your cannon). They like doggy style sex, but don’t like to be thought of as dogs. Chinese chicks can be quite scandalous. Chinese chicks marry you at the drop of a hat and will pester you about your "single certificate" (dan shen zheng ming 单身证明), in fact these are the first words hopeful parents teach their young Chinese daughters. In China a date can consist of a half dozen chicken feet and a bottle of beer. Just be ready for an all-nighter. Chinese chicks always say "我爱你 wo I knee, I lob you". In China pussy is being given away like it's free. Mothers will push their young hot daughters on you. They will do everything they can to get you guys banging each other. Don’t miss out on all the hot young noodle house girls. High school teachers can bang all the hot young pussy they want. When Nixon wasn't shooting hippies for sport, he went to China and taught Chinese chicks the hippie peace sign. Something they all do to this day Thanks Tricky Dick! JapaneseGeisha use artistic expression and nimble body language to get men rock hard. No Viagra is ever needed. Korean women are recognizable by a face which resembles the Chinese, mixed in with a culture that makes their nature manipulative, violent and if you get the chemistry right "hot". Say "you're very pretty" to a Chinese woman and the Chinese woman will politely thank you and walk away with a smile on her face. Say the same thing to a Korean woman, and you will be told where and how to take your pointless flirts somewhere else because you're broke. Indian subcontinental women India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh), subcontinental women have a slightly more hairy pubis than other Asian chicks - heck they're like your own mini fur-ball. However, since they also have biggest round tits and asses in Asia it's your call. But remember, if you like it furry and sweaty, they're the perfect bed warming toy, though they do tend to have excessive sweating and may the stink of a rhinoceros farting into a turdsickle. Thai women Thai chicks are well known for being very exotic. However, they are one of the easiest to capture as they compete with the red light alley women, and need you to fork up the cash, or you're out. You shouldn't feel upset about having to pay for their affections, however; That income supports their friends, family and as well as that kid that they say is yours. If you get one, hold onto her. They are known to run away after a with no explanation, but if you manage to get one to stick with you the benefits are infinite. They know skills in bed that are ancient secrets of Asia, and they don't have a lot else to practice on either, they live in Thailand. That place is practically a jungle. Again, try and get one of these, the small slender bodied Thai girl has been known to lure in a man and devour his income and give him unimaginable pleasure and leaving without him knowing for a second what the hell just happened. Filipina women Virgin Mary. Once they have broken that drought, however, they're also the best at anal sex, and they'll fuck till you go blind. The Philippines has one of the largest standing professional female sex armies in Asia, and their services can be rented for a small fee. Filipinas are experts at getting pregnant; It is impossible to fuck them without cumming hard deep inside them. This proves that birth control does not work in the Philippines. Filipina prostitutes have an inferiority complex because all the other Asian chicks consider them to be of the lower class, because many Filipina chicks have some Spanish ancestry back from that really brief time when Spain had the Armada and their navy sailed all over and fucked all the hot chicks. They make up for this by collecting lots of sexy heels .