At this point, all I want is to have an unassisted bowel movement.

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Lumbergh, Apr 6, 2016.

  1. Lumbergh

    Lumbergh Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    79
    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2016
    Messages:
    2,514
    Likes Received:
    1,958
    I recently started a new diet which is going extremely well. The problem is that it's causing me to be constipated.

    I've been doing things to facilitate the bowel movements, but I don't want to do them anymore. It's exhausting.

    I just want to have a good old-fashioned BM that leaves me feeling stretched out and relaxed.

    I guess constipation is the price you have to pay for health and beauty.
     
  2. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

    Reputations:
    13,145
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2010
    Messages:
    34,424
    Likes Received:
    12,472
  3. ice cream

    ice cream Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    600
    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2011
    Messages:
    23,841
    Likes Received:
    5,336
    gp2 there's a new sheriff in town :fil:
     
  4. Mr Sinister

    Mr Sinister Gold

    Reputations:
    9
    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2012
    Messages:
    50,836
    Likes Received:
    44,556
    what you do is take a spoon full of petroleum jelly
     
    Apple the cat and JameGumb like this.
  5. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

    Reputations:
    13,145
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2010
    Messages:
    34,424
    Likes Received:
    12,472
    And do what now?
     
  6. Pill Queen

    Pill Queen Elegantly wasted Gold

    Reputations:
    43,322
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2014
    Messages:
    9,680
    Likes Received:
    13,149
    What do you do that is so exhausting?
     
  7. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend

    Reputations:
    21,968
    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    79,862
    Likes Received:
    36,189
    What is an assisted bowel movement? :wtf:
     
  8. Jackass369

    Jackass369 Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    15
    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2012
    Messages:
    844
    Likes Received:
    2,446
  9. Pill Queen

    Pill Queen Elegantly wasted Gold

    Reputations:
    43,322
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2014
    Messages:
    9,680
    Likes Received:
    13,149
    I think he may be sticking his hand up his ass to pull the shit out :dontknow:
     
  10. Nibbler

    Nibbler heaven is in your mind Gold

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2011
    Messages:
    29,203
    Likes Received:
    21,240
    He is a she. And ladies don't do things like that.
     
  11. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

    Reputations:
    9,183
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2011
    Messages:
    63,806
    Likes Received:
    22,525
    Psyllium husks daily and muralax once a week if needed
     
  12. MGD

    MGD Active Member

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    May 12, 2012
    Messages:
    469
    Likes Received:
    84
    Metamucil or equivalent on a daily basis should do the trick.
     
  13. Pill Queen

    Pill Queen Elegantly wasted Gold

    Reputations:
    43,322
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2014
    Messages:
    9,680
    Likes Received:
    13,149
    He's a lady??????
     
    goldtopper likes this.
  14. Nibbler

    Nibbler heaven is in your mind Gold

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2011
    Messages:
    29,203
    Likes Received:
    21,240
    Mr Sinister was just talking to her on the chatline.

    Lumbergh is one of us! Except for the constipated part.
     
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2016
    goldtopper likes this.
  15. goldtopper

    goldtopper Well Known Heterosexual Gold

    Reputations:
    50,681
    Joined:
    May 31, 2013
    Messages:
    20,183
    Likes Received:
    54,564
    The road goes ever on.
     
  16. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

    Reputations:
    9,031
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2010
    Messages:
    89,164
    Likes Received:
    27,830
    Hello darling. :flowers:
     
  17. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

    Reputations:
    9,031
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2010
    Messages:
    89,164
    Likes Received:
    27,830
    Not buying "the she schtick"
     
  18. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

    Reputations:
    9,031
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2010
    Messages:
    89,164
    Likes Received:
    27,830
    Color me skeptical
     
  19. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

    Reputations:
    40,220
    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2011
    Messages:
    183,113
    Likes Received:
    104,889
    :eek::eek::eek:
     
  20. Nibbler

    Nibbler heaven is in your mind Gold

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2011
    Messages:
    29,203
    Likes Received:
    21,240
    Mr Sinister was just talking to her on the chatline.

    I've been flirting with a constipated girl and I liked it!