At this point, all I want is to have an unassisted bowel movement.

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Lumbergh, Apr 6, 2016.

  1. Lumbergh

    Lumbergh Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    14,044
    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2016
    Messages:
    1,923
    Likes Received:
    1,505
    I recently started a new diet which is going extremely well. The problem is that it's causing me to be constipated.

    I've been doing things to facilitate the bowel movements, but I don't want to do them anymore. It's exhausting.

    I just want to have a good old-fashioned BM that leaves me feeling stretched out and relaxed.

    I guess constipation is the price you have to pay for health and beauty.
     
  2. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

    Reputations:
    147,540
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2010
    Messages:
    33,847
    Likes Received:
    11,836
  3. ice cream

    ice cream Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    18,746
    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2011
    Messages:
    23,453
    Likes Received:
    4,983
    gp2 there's a new sheriff in town :fil:
     
  4. Mr Sinister

    Mr Sinister Gold

    Reputations:
    385,851
    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2012
    Messages:
    50,067
    Likes Received:
    43,286
    what you do is take a spoon full of petroleum jelly
     
    Apple the cat and JameGumb like this.
  5. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

    Reputations:
    147,540
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2010
    Messages:
    33,847
    Likes Received:
    11,836
    And do what now?
     
  6. Pill Queen

    Pill Queen Elegantly wasted VIP

    Reputations:
    168,954
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2014
    Messages:
    8,296
    Likes Received:
    10,761
    What do you do that is so exhausting?
     
  7. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

    Reputations:
    531,980
    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    77,616
    Likes Received:
    32,958
    What is an assisted bowel movement? :wtf:
     
  8. Jackass369

    Jackass369 Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    8,453
    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2012
    Messages:
    828
    Likes Received:
    2,401
  9. Pill Queen

    Pill Queen Elegantly wasted VIP

    Reputations:
    168,954
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2014
    Messages:
    8,296
    Likes Received:
    10,761
    I think he may be sticking his hand up his ass to pull the shit out :dontknow:
     
  10. Nibbler

    Nibbler heaven is in your mind Gold

    Reputations:
    467,665
    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2011
    Messages:
    29,203
    Likes Received:
    21,240
    He is a she. And ladies don't do things like that.
     
  11. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

    Reputations:
    153,329
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2011
    Messages:
    59,981
    Likes Received:
    19,133
    Psyllium husks daily and muralax once a week if needed
     
  12. MGD

    MGD Active Member

    Reputations:
    699
    Joined:
    May 12, 2012
    Messages:
    469
    Likes Received:
    84
    Metamucil or equivalent on a daily basis should do the trick.
     
  13. Pill Queen

    Pill Queen Elegantly wasted VIP

    Reputations:
    168,954
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2014
    Messages:
    8,296
    Likes Received:
    10,761
    He's a lady??????
     
    goldtopper likes this.
  14. Nibbler

    Nibbler heaven is in your mind Gold

    Reputations:
    467,665
    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2011
    Messages:
    29,203
    Likes Received:
    21,240
    Mr Sinister was just talking to her on the chatline.

    Lumbergh is one of us! Except for the constipated part.
     
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2016
    goldtopper likes this.
  15. goldtopper

    goldtopper Well Known Heterosexual Gold

    Reputations:
    338,625
    Joined:
    May 31, 2013
    Messages:
    18,511
    Likes Received:
    47,808
    The road goes ever on.
     
  16. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

    Reputations:
    180,195
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2010
    Messages:
    84,488
    Likes Received:
    24,953
    Hello darling. :flowers:
     
  17. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

    Reputations:
    180,195
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2010
    Messages:
    84,488
    Likes Received:
    24,953
    Not buying "the she schtick"
     
  18. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

    Reputations:
    180,195
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2010
    Messages:
    84,488
    Likes Received:
    24,953
    Color me skeptical
     
  19. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

    Reputations:
    762,099
    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2011
    Messages:
    177,611
    Likes Received:
    94,935
    :eek::eek::eek:
     
  20. Nibbler

    Nibbler heaven is in your mind Gold

    Reputations:
    467,665
    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2011
    Messages:
    29,203
    Likes Received:
    21,240
    Mr Sinister was just talking to her on the chatline.

    I've been flirting with a constipated girl and I liked it!