Beef need not apply

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Shithead, Feb 5, 2015.

  1. Shithead

    Shithead Well-Known Member

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    She doen't need the dough and she doesn't shit




    Earn $13,000 a year by selling your poop
    OpenBiome, a Massachusetts health company, pays healthy donors for brown stuff that is up to snuff. The fecal matter is used for transplants that treat a nasty stomach bug.
    BY Victoria Taylor
    NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
    Thursday, February 5, 2015, 2:24 PM
    [​IMG]
    You can get paid for this.
    Here’s your chance to turn that brown stuff into serious green.

    A Massachusetts health company is buying healthy people’s poop — and paying up to $13,000 a year — to make sure there is a steady stream of fecal matter to treat a nasty intestinal infection.

    “(It’s) definitely something curious and funny about (being paid to defecate),” says Carolyn Edelstein, an executive with the lab OpenBiome, “but it's a simple idea of being able to help patients.”

    Said patients are suffering from Clostridium difficile infection — and fecal transplants have proven very effective.

    The hardest part is getting enough poop.

    Donors between the ages of 18 and 50 must first pass 27 blood and stool tests just to qualify. Plus, they need to live or work near OpenBiome’s Medford, Mass. offices — and be able to “produce” at least four times a week.

    Donors are re-screened every 60 days to make sure their cowpies remain up to snuff.

    [​IMG]
    OpenBiome’s frozen poop material goes out to hospitals all over the country.


    “It’s a pretty invasive thing,” says the non-profit’s co-founder James Burgess. “Having an incentive program helps insure we can keep our donors.”

    There are currently 16 donors. They can receive up to $250 a week — $40 per sample and an extra $50 if they show up five days in one week.






    “It's such a big commitment that it makes sense (to pay),” adds Edelstein.

    It’s a crappy job, but somebody’s got to do it. But donating dung isn’t simply a matter of producing it: Just 4% of would-be stool givers are approved.

    The First National Bank of Guano may make you wrinkle your nose, but C. difficile is no laughing matter. The pathogens cause diarrhea, fever, nausea and abdominal pain and antibiotics don’t work for about 20% of patients. Fecal transplants can put them out of their misery.

    OpenBiome processes and ships the material to hospitals around the country.

    “We view it as filling a gap in the public health system,” Burgess says.

    And it could make you flush with cash.
     
  2. Dick Fitzwell

    Dick Fitzwell Opinions are like assholes ... and so am I

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    Shit happens
     
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  3. markluke

    markluke Well-Known Member

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    "and be able to “produce” at least four times a week."

    Hell, give me some beef tacos and I'll produce 4x a day.
     
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  4. StRyDeRxX

    StRyDeRxX Bling Bling Gold

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    That's some bullshit! :pissed:
     
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  5. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    Beth may only poop once a month, but when she does, it registers on the Richter scale.
     
  6. Lola

    Lola little-known member

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    "fecal transplants" :bigthink
     
  7. killallposers

    killallposers VIP Extreme Gold

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    I know where I wish I lived. Here, I'm flushing $13,000 a year down the toilet. Brown gold. Massachusetts tea.
     
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