Beef would be proud

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Shithead, Feb 27, 2015.

  1. Shithead

    Shithead Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    91,303
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    13,316
    Likes Received:
    21,436
    Accused perv teacher blames open lube bottle on his cats
    BY Shayna Jacobs
    NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
    Published: Thursday, February 26, 2015, 11:08 PM
    Updated: Thursday, February 26, 2015, 11:08 PM
    [​IMG] Jefferson Siegel/New York Daily News Richard Hovan, a former math teacher at the exclusive Riverdale Country School in the Bronx, appears Thursday in Manhattan Supreme Court
    His cats do all sorts of tricks — including coming to his defense at trial.

    An accused perv prep school teacher claimed Thursday that the used bottle of lubricant found in his Chelsea apartment as his ex-fiancée caught him with his 16-year-old student could have been the handiwork of his frisky pets.

    Richard Hovan made the bizarre claim in Manhattan Supreme Court during cross-examination as Assistant District Attorney Shanda Strain confronted him with mountains of evidence — including records of thousands of texts with the girl, flirty emails and proof they had spent the night together.

    “The lube is almost empty, right?” Strain said.

    “Yes,” Hovan said.

    “The cats played with it? . . . So do they have opposable thumbs?” the ADA asked with sarcasm.


    Hovan then boldly claimed that his pair of felines are very capable — and are “perhaps” the reason for the open container, even though there would have been a seal on the bottle.


    “My cats open the fridge, they open the cabinet, all of those things. I don’t know,” the 33-year-old MIT grad and former math teacher at Riverdale Country School said.

    Strain said Hovan has been lying about “helping” the troubled girl through tough times when he had her at his apartment and spent the night with her in a Brooklyn Holiday Inn, which he paid for in cash.

    My cats open the fridge, they open the cabinet, all of those things. I don’t know.
    Hovan testified that he did crossword puzzles while she slept during the one-on-one sleepovers and that no sexual encounters took place.

    He is charged with criminal sex act, statutory rape and endangering the welfare of a child. He faces up to four years in prison on the top count. The jury is expected to begin deliberations Friday.

    In closing arguments Thursday, Strain ripped the wild cat claim, saying it is one of many coverup stories to hide what he did to the vulnerable girl.


    “He should really put those cats on YouTube. There’s that one cat that plays that song. These cats — they open drawers, cabinets, boxes and safety seals!” Strain said.


    “If nothing was happening, if nothing was going on, if they were just sitting on the couch doing the New York Times crossword, why is she climbing down a fire escape to get away?” Strain said.

    The prosecutor also shot down his main defense claim — the fact that the alleged victim said she did not know if Hovan was circumcised. Strain said it is evidence of the teen’s inexperience.

    But Hovan’s lawyer, Vinoo Varghese, argued the teen not recalling whether Hovan was circumcised shows that no matter what happened, sex wasn’t involved.

    Hovan was all about doing “whatever he can to ensure his students succeed in the classroom and outside,” Varghese argued.
     
  2. teehee

    teehee Friend Of The Friendless VIP

    Reputations:
    179,220
    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2013
    Messages:
    4,361
    Likes Received:
    19,221
    Cats are little rascals!!
     
    reno likes this.
  3. Gretsch Man

    Gretsch Man Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    47,336
    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2012
    Messages:
    5,896
    Likes Received:
    8,669
    My cats open doors so maybe he's on to something.
     
  4. MrWarmth

    MrWarmth ADORABLE DEPLORABLE Gold

    Reputations:
    174,642
    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2010
    Messages:
    90,437
    Likes Received:
    40,819
    The lawyer's name is Vinoo Varghese. Ba da BING! :right:
     
    teehee and Gretsch Man like this.
  5. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

    Reputations:
    116,015
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2010
    Messages:
    9,086
    Likes Received:
    22,485
    Beff looks to be shtrug-a-ling to hide them huge chompers