WTF Before you get busy: how to douche your back door

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MilkyDischarge, Aug 28, 2016.

  1. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Se suelto el diablo Gold

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    I think this is from Ronnie-


    BOTTOMS, BE GOOD TO YOUR TOPS!
    Because fecal matter contains many microbes and organisms the body is ridding itself of, offering an unclean hole to your barebacking top is offering him the potential of disease. Even if you are STD-free, a little bit of feces from your hole can become trapped in his urethra and cause him the discomfort of NSU (Non-Specific Urethritis) which can mimic Gonorrhea in its symptoms. NSU's are usually nothing more than a nuisance, but they can lead to other problems. And your topman may not be happy about spending a day at the local STD clinic and being taken out of sexual circulation, only to find out later on that there was nothing seriously wrong with him to begin with.

    Getting into the habit of cleaning out before a date or going to a bath house is the nicest thing you can do for your topmen. And cleaning yourself out before a night on the town is a wise recommendation, because you never know if some hot guy (or guys) might just pick you up..
    When it comes to the old standard of dinner followed by sex, I recommend doing it in the opposite order, since eating (yes, even snacking) will cause your body to start putting things in motion. Best to clean out, fuck your heart out, then go for a bite to eat. Besides, after a heavy sexual workout, you'll be really hungry for something hearty to eat.



    Once you've decided which douching equipment to use and you've gotten it set up, it's time to take it for a test-drive. I wouldn't advise waiting until you have a hot date at your home, naked and ready to go, before trying it out for your first time.

    Regardless of which method you plan on using, the best place to try and accomplish this act is in the bathroom. That's because you're going to be flushing out your innards, and there's a lot of stuff up there you aren't going to want to have end up on your carpet. The best place for you to start is in the bathtub, provided that's where your hose is hooked up.

    STEP 1: Get the water ready.
    Use lukewarm (tepid) water, not cold and not hot. If you're using a douche bag, fill the bag with warm water. DON'T USE LIQUID SOAP WITH THE WATER. Soap is a detergent and can strip the inside of your rectum of good things as well as bad. If you're using a hose attachment, get the water running gently. You don't need to "power-wash" your hole. You only need to fill it with water.

    STEP 2: Pre-lube your hole.
    Smear a little lube around your ass pucker and slide a lubed finger up inside yourself. This will not only get you ready for inserting the hose/nozzle, but it may also let you know if you've got any fecal matter in the area.

    STEP 3: Insert the hose.
    Because this step can cause water to splash everywhere at the start, it is best to be in the tub before beginning. GENTLY slide the hose end or the nozzle up your ass until the spray tip is just past the sphincter. You shouldn't treat the nozzle as a dildo. The point is to get the water to spray inside your ass, not fuck yourself on the thing.

    STEP 4: Stop when you feel full.
    You'll feel the water begin to fill you. This will cause a bit of pressure, and you will start to get a sensation that your rectum is "full". STOP, and slide the hose back out of your ass. The idea is to get enough water inside to loosen things up and help everything in your rectum come out, not to clean out everything all the way up your colon to your stomach.

    STEP 5: Jiggle around a bit.
    Before getting rid of the water inside you, take a moment to straighten up and jiggle around a bit. Knead your intestines by squeezing your abdomen a bit. You'll feel a sort of sloshing inside. This is helping to loosen anything solid, and that's the idea.

    STEP 6: Get rid of the water.
    Keeping your buttcheeks clenched, step out of the tub and go sit on the toilet. This is the best place to get rid of your dirty water. Some men prefer to stay in the tub to eliminate, but tub drains aren't designed to manage that kind of waste. And what can result may not look or smell pretty. If you have a hair and lint catcher in your shower drain, you may find yourself ankle deep in dirty water should the strainer clog. So sit your bum down on the toilet and let it all come out. You should not need to force most of it out. Gravity will take care of the bulk of it. You may have to do a little intestine kneading (from the rib cage downward) and squeezing to get the last of it out, however.
    FLUSH the toilet. That way, when you repeat the process you will be able to see how clean your water is coming out.

    STEP 7: Repeat.
    Get your ass back in the tub and do it again. Repeat steps 3 through 6 until the water comes out clean, Remember to avoid overfilling your ass with water each time, because water can get trapped in the twists and turns of your colon and come out at a later time when it would not be expected or appreciated by your top.
     
  2. Dream Theater

    Dream Theater DAWGS E-BULLY Squad Gold

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  3. regult

    regult 4 Goals...

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    "Shit in Your Dickhole"

    Great song title.
     
  4. yaddc

    yaddc Well-Known Member

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    :toptip:thanks for the info
     
  5. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Se suelto el diablo Gold

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    I'm here to serve.
    Best wishes on the colon cleanse.
     
    kingship, yaddc and Bye You! like this.
  6. Shithead

    Shithead Well-Known Member

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    I'm assuming this holds true for the ladies too
     
    Gomez likes this.
  7. Flabo

    Flabo Well-Known Member

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    I'm sure the Greeks all did this back in the day. And I'm sure all the prisoners in jail do this too.