Best Zingers at the Birthday Bash

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by illini fan, Feb 1, 2014.

  1. illini fan

    illini fan New Member VIP

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    I bailed shortly after 1 hour...Apparently, Howard hasn't heard the old adage "That less is sometimes more"...The celebration would have been better if they compacted it into two hours or less...

    ..In any event Jeffery Ross line that "Howard has a pic of Beth in his Wallet and Beth has a pic of Howard's wallet'...That was good..

    ..I also heard that Lena Dunham said some shit that made Howard squirm...I didn't catch what she said ??? and I also heard that Joan Rivers had some good lines...

    ..In any case, please post the best zingers

    :hat:
     
  2. Wigward Hairhat

    Wigward Hairhat Active Member

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    Jerry Seinfeld's "you won" line made me chuckle, only because it came from him. Jerry has the Wig beaten across the board.
     
  3. illini fan

    illini fan New Member VIP

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    Please explain, I am slow....
     
  4. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    This thread is as short as I thought it would be
     
  5. illini fan

    illini fan New Member VIP

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    Slow build.....
     
  6. safetydancer

    safetydancer Well-Known Member

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    Lena Dunham said Howard looks like a cartoon of an old jewish female horse

    Joan Rivers to Howard: "If your face was a car, it would be Paul Walker's Porsche"

    Sarah Silverman performed a song about how Robin's vegucation gave her cancer
     
  7. illini fan

    illini fan New Member VIP

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    :lol:
     
  8. illini fan

    illini fan New Member VIP

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    If only she said Beth Looks like instead

    :jj:
     
  9. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    How long was the show?
     
  10. illini fan

    illini fan New Member VIP

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    ..a little more than 4 hours....
     
  11. ScottBaiosPenis

    ScottBaiosPenis Well-Known Member

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    "Healthy eating gives you cancer" --sarah silverman providing the only moments of old stern at the whole thing
     
  12. Ashbeard

    Ashbeard Well-Known Member

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    The most awkward was uncle Jesse telling the hot tub cuckold story. Stern was trying hard to deflect to something else but stamos basically said beth was grabbing his cock.
     
  13. x76

    x76 Well-Known Member

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    Mmm, Beff a cock-grabbing starfucker? Color me SHOCKED, Goliath.
     
  14. Rob0729

    Rob0729 Well-Known Member

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    I think the best zinger was Beth's performance piece where she went all night making everyone think Howard married a fame seeking, star fucking, gold digger. That had me in stitches all night.
     
  15. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    Someone: "Beth, who are you wearing?"

    Beth: "I'm wearing a gown"
     
  16. itpdude

    itpdude New Member

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    Beth changed three times. She was also busy taking selfies. Hasn't Pelican made fun of selfies? The projection on his show at times is very telling of his true thoughts on his trophy.

    Beth also being interviewed and gushing on about how she loves Pelican. She acts like the most loyal employee ever. . . . . which she is.

    There were innate, perhaps subtle, things that were the most fun. Stuff like the above.

    Kathy Lee Gifford made a vid appearance. That was pretty fun, too.

    All in all, Pelican was a contrite bitch. He's always been a star-fucker. He merely wanted acceptance by big-time Hollywood and media giants. He got that last night. He said a few things about how he has a lot of people to make amends with, how he's sorry for being an asshole, etc. The fat chick from Girls made him squirm. She went on about some things he said in the past and Pelican moaned, "oh, come on. . . . don't take it that way!"

    He really seemed to regret saying those things. Of course those things are what got him where he is, but I believe that he was a trolling asshole earlier in his career because he craved the attention of Hollywood, wanted their acceptance, and negative attention was his only avenue. He got it and now he's accepted. It makes sense he now "regrets" his past assholery.

    He's so clueless that he probably thinks he could have achieved this level of success by starting out and doing a nice, evolved show where he talks about kittens and not eating meat.
     
  17. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    Seth Meyers said Howard looks like the Ramones' mom.
     
  18. jrstinkfish

    jrstinkfish The Slow Adult VIP

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    I know we all know this by now, but reading it still makes me a little sad. He had the perfect platform to take celebrities down a few notches and was masterful at it, made a fortune doing it, and now he regrets it. Fucking asshole, and not the kind I used to admire.

    The crazy thing is, only a few of the people he attacked took it personally. You'd hear people on talk shows talking about how they were honored that Howard was making fun of them, they had a sense of humor about themselves. He didn't need to start backtracking. Fucking Beth ...
     
  19. itpdude

    itpdude New Member

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    Yeah, I know. My post is yet another epitaph on the HSS. It's all been said before. Last night really brought it home (again?) for me.

    The problem with Pelican is how vicious he was to his targets. Kathy Lee? Wishing her kid would turn out gay? Magic? Deserved HIV? The list goes on. Pelican wasn't being Rickles. He was being a vicious cunt.

    Which is fine, but now he wants to take it all back and be this new-and-evolved guy? I dunno. . . . . it's all too convenient.

    And if he's truly sorry, he'd give away at least half his wealth (I'm talking property, investments; everything) if he truly wants to demonstrate contrition. Call it penance. Call it him declining blood money. Most of his wealth is there because he was such a vicious asshole. If he's truly sorry, he'd give it all away. The wealth he now has is built upon his poor past behavior. But even give away just half - that would show true contrition.

    But he won't.

    He's not THAT sorry.
     
  20. PiggyMohammad

    PiggyMohammad Active Member Banned User

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    The Zingers? They are around.