Beth is writing a follow up book to Yoda: A Story of a Cat and His Kittens

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by SchwoogieBuzzer, Aug 19, 2015.

  1. SchwoogieBuzzer

    SchwoogieBuzzer Well-Known Member

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    On Tuesday's show Coward said Beth is writing another book. All of the money going to charity, of course. The first one was a huge success -- in the category of Children's Books > Animals > Cats > Adoption
    All the money previously raised from the Yoda book was put to such good use. The Bianca's Furry Friends wing of the NSAL is a gleaming structure capable of housing so many abused animals. The building had to be redesigned after it was determined that Beth's shoe closet was not large enough.

    From Mark's Friggin':
    Howard said Beth has another book coming out this Christmas. Howard said it's a follow up to the Yoda book. Howard said it will have Buddy the blind cat in it. Howard said they have six cats and all of the fosters so it's more like 15. He said sometimes he's in charge of the cats and he is very neurotic about it. He said he has to give them water and clean their pans. He said it's a lot of work. He said Beth is exhausted when she's done with her day.

    "She's a worthless cunt."
    [​IMG]
     
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  2. sfgirl

    sfgirl Well-Known Member VIP

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    "She's a worthless cunt."
    :lol:
     
  3. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

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    Malignant Cunt :grad:


    @Herc :rip:
     
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  4. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

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    ...her new book was predicted right here at the shed with her first blind buddy instagram pics. look, shes in a bind she cant do a book about all the different dicks she sucked for free dinners and cheap gifts.
     
  5. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    Didn't she reprimand her Instagram followers for repeatedly suggesting she should keep poor Blind Buddy? That's right, she did:




    bethostern
    Stitches come out Wednesday!!!!!!! #newbeginnings#ourbuddy. (I do not keep my foster kittens. Please stop asking or telling me I should. There will be another Buddy who needs me when my work is finished with this angel.) ❤️



    Somehow I think she'll omit that part from the book.
     
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  6. Phantom Lord

    Phantom Lord Well-Known Member

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    If I had to guess how this whole thing works out from a financial perspective I would go with the following:

    1.) Beth craves publicity so they talk to Don Buchwald and realize a kid's book (from a woman that doesn't want kids) is the best avenue. It is easy to write, doesn't take much thought or research, and how can the public bash her for writing a cartoon book? This is to keep up her Saint Beth persona.

    2.) In order to make this not seem like a trophy wife book project (aka. Katie Lee Joel, Imus' wife) Howard announces that the proceeds go to charity. Only one charity gets it, an animal shelter. Basically, a pampered vanity project for Hamptons wives who are board. After all, North Shore gets a D rating and their director makes over $350K. Maybe that is why Bianca's Furry Friends wing is taking longer than the Freedom Tower to construct.

    3.) They find a book publisher that Howard can promote on the air for free. In addition to that, billionaire Howard probably covers the book production cost. Since the book publisher doesn't have to pay Beth a penny they agree to the deal.

    4.) Don along with the publisher hire and pay a ghost writer to actually write 90% of the book so that kids may actually like it.

    5.) The book comes out and Beth gets to do her victory lap on the morning show circuit and attend a bunch of book signings.

    Follow this pattern and repeat it every two years and you keep your vapid trophy wife happy so she won't insist on having kids at some point.
     
  7. Junior

    Junior Active Member

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    I think she writes these books so Howard has something to give out as Christmas gifts.
     
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  8. njguy8

    njguy8 Well-Known Member VIP

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    This.
     
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  9. Just Me

    Just Me VIP Extreme Gold

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    Did Herc really die or just disappear, and was he the same Herc who was the young muscle guy from SFN?
     
  10. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

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    ...the sad thing besides buddy being blind beth, is, nobody cares. see you at costco! :hw:
     
  11. IfTheyOnlyKnew

    IfTheyOnlyKnew VIP Extreme Gold

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    You forgot "x a million" :coffee:
     
  12. Shady_Jake

    Shady_Jake Well-Known Member

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    Are these children's books self serving horse shit vanity projects or does Beth just genuinely enjoy cats? Series question.
     
  13. njguy8

    njguy8 Well-Known Member VIP

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    Shoot, you're right.
    My bad.
     
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  14. TallTyrion

    TallTyrion Triggered like a mofo VIP

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    Maybe Marksfriggin should write her book for her.
    and I quote:
    Yoda said that the loverly Beth O saved his life, Loverly Beth O said that she only works with god in heaven for miracles for little cats, Howard said that the loverly Beth O is unmatched in the world of pussy palaces. Yoda was wondering when she was going to let him go back to his fucking bed.
     
  15. XXXXX

    XXXXX Well-Known Member

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    Using a severely disabled animal as a prop for a vanity project is very disturbing - hopefully, more and more people see through her bullshit and come to know the real Princess Beff, and her true motives. I honestly don't know how she can sleep at night... I was also going to ask the question of how she can look at herself in the mirror, but I guess a person can do a lot of things that most would never do, or even think of, when you don't have a conscience... Plus, there isn't a camera or mirror that the Princess doesn't love...

    I wonder what her portrait looks like - you know, the one she keeps in a locked room in one of the mansions or the Manhattan apartment - one day, she will be forced to look at it, and realize just how ugly the subject of the picture has become...
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2015
  16. Uncle Larry

    Uncle Larry Well-Known Member VIP

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    She did qualify her reprimand with a "when my work is finished with this angel", and I'm guessing that part of Buddy's current mission is to serve as the featured photo prop until Beth is done promoting her new ghostwritten book.
     
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  17. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

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    ...wtf does her barren dry hole have to do with children that shes never had? she hasnt 1 fucking clue what it takes to raise a kid. all shes thinking of is parents will buy their kids anything "right howard". what beth enjoys is louis vuitton chanel versace prada mccartney. she'll even spend your money at crate and barrel if youre dumb enough to let her.

    p.s. howards daughters hate that cunt.
     
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  18. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    The book ends with Beth directing kids to an auction site where they can bid for a chance to own the real Buddy.
     
  19. SchwoogieBuzzer

    SchwoogieBuzzer Well-Known Member

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    This helps:
    [​IMG]
     
  20. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    Will she wear her smart girl glasses when she pretends to write the book?
     
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