Beth Wisdom "...Hire a.."

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Dlist, Apr 18, 2012.

  1. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    My pet seems unhappy
    Beth: "Hire a pet psychic"

    My cat boxes smell
    Beth: "Hire Consuela"

    My dog acts out
    Beth: "Hire a behavorist"

    My living room isn't my 'own'
    Beth: "Hire ME! I can give you a Mom Cave!" (taxes, shipping, materials you pay for do apply)
     
  2. BethSucks

    BethSucks Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I want to be sued without merit by my employee
    Beth: Hire Howard!

    I'm afraid my dog will die soon. What will it be like?
    Beth: Hire Bianca!
     
  3. Engaged Chicken

    Engaged Chicken VIP Extreme Gold

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    When she was :quote: writing :quote: Oh My Dog, she said she was consulting with all kinds of experts such as "nutritionalists."

    :lol:
     
  4. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

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    My mom died and I feel terrible.
    "Hire a maternal-notdeadanymoreist!"


    What's the best way to extinguish open flames on a terrier?

    "Hire a putteroutwithwaterist!"


    How can I get my favorite DJ to start kissing Hollywood ass, works less, and bitch more?

    "Hire a former European model!"
     
  5. Gretsch Man

    Gretsch Man Well-Known Member

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    lol Nutritionalists.
     
  6. Halloween

    Halloween Well-Known Member

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    I have so much money, I'm good looking and I own a major tv network, but I'm clinically depressed.
    "Beth: Hire a priest and marry me!"
     
  7. Guts83

    Guts83 Active Member

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    "I'm a fan that likes being pissed on."
    Beth: Hire Howard!

    "I know where there is red carpe-..."
    Beth: HIRE ME!
     
  8. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

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    ...dear beth, im cunty, and im bitchy all the time

    oh, go on fox and friends!

    ...dear beth, my bulldog is dying and i feel awful for buying this breed now after seeing her suffer, can you help?


    name a street after her in your backyard, tweet pics to make her feel better!
     
  9. MuttFucker

    MuttFucker New Member

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    "I've been out of work for awhile now. I'm scared I won't be able to keep my two dogs. They're the only family I have."


    "I was there. You need to hire a psychic. Mine led me to a friend of hers who hired models that didn't mind international travel. The sky's the limit if you're truly open to what some would describe as despicable demeaning servitude, but I would describe as perfect training for the future."
     
  10. Mutt Sucks

    Mutt Sucks New Member Banned User

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    Don't forget the weather forecaster, everyone needs to hire one.