Stern Show Beth, you'll find this article fascinating

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Shithead, Feb 21, 2016.

  1. Shithead

    Shithead Well-Known Member

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    I married my cats after my last relationship ended in heartache - and it's purr-fect
    • 07:00, 21 Feb 2016
    • By Pesala Bandara
    After Barbarella Buchner’s last relationship ended, she didn’t have to look far to find true love...
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    Barbarella Buchner with her two cats Spider and Lugosi
    After a painful breakup, many women believe they’ll never find love again. But for 48-year-old web designer Barbarella Buchner, finding another man after her seven-year relationship ended has been the last thing on her mind – because she believes she’s found happiness, companionship and emotional fulfilment with… her cats.
    Incredible as it sounds, Barbarella thinks she’s found not one, but two soulmates in the form of her male moggies, Spider and Lugosi. Her devotion to them is so strong that 10 years ago she even married them in an online ceremony.
    "They’re the loves of my life," she claims. "I have no regrets and I don’t care what people say."
    Cat-mad Barbarella has always been an animal lover. "As a child I was surrounded by cats," she says. "Our family regularly owned at least one or two. They were my favourite animal."
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    Barbarella has always been an animal lover
    At 34, Barbarella finally got the chance to adopt her own cats, and she took the opportunity very seriously.
    "For me, it was like when you know you’re having a baby," she says. "Before you have a baby or adopt a child, you look on the internet to learn as much as possible and read lots of books. That’s what I did before I got my cats."
    In March 2000, Barbarella adopted two eight-month-old tabby cats from the same litter at an East London animal shelter.
    "It was love at first sight when I laid eyes on my boys, Lugosi and Spider," she recalls. "I’ll never forget that day. They were rubbing against the cage and purring.
    "I knew I wanted those cats… I could tell the feeling of love was mutual judging by their purrs and the way they were brushing their little faces against the bars. That was it; they were coming home with me!"
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    Barbarella with her cat Lugosi
    Barbarella – who now lives in Lanzarote – has had a few long-term relationships with men, but never wanted to marry.
    She explains, "I didn’t know if I had it in me to be a wife. Some women are built to clean up after their men, and I’m not like that. But I never minded being my cats’ servants. I’m not a submissive person but I’ll do anything for Lugosi and Spider."
    Barbarella says the cats were a comfort to her after her most serious relationship with her boyfriend of seven years broke down.
    Holy catrimony
    "My ex was the most important person in my life until things stopped working between us," she says. "He’d come home and we’d argue over something, or he’d want to chat when I didn’t want to. We ended up sleeping in separate rooms. I thought there was hope for us but in the end, there wasn’t.
    "It was so painful breaking up with him. I cried for weeks after we split up, but the cats really helped me through the process. I would cry into Lugosi and Spider’s fur. They were on the sofa with me all the time and I felt calm.
    "After my boyfriend left, Spider and Lugosi were still there for me, helping me get through the separation anxiety and feelings of sadness. I have loved and lived with a couple of partners before but I realised that my love for my fur babies is so much deeper than anything I have felt for a human."
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    Barbarella with her cat Spider
    In 2004, Barbarella decided to make their love official and looked into ways to marry her cats. She found a website called Marryyourpet.com. The site has a list of rules they expect the human marrying their pet to adhere to – such as ‘You are not allowed to mistreat your pet in any way’ – and once Barbarella had been approved and had paid a small fee of about £20, she tied the knot with Lugosi and Spider in a quickie online ceremony, where she clicked on the words ‘I do’.
    "Marrying Lugosi and Spider was something I had to do, for myself," she says. "Some people may call me a bigamist for marrying two cats or even call our marriage incest because they’re brothers. But I’ve never been one to care about what other people say or think, especially when it has anything to do with my cats and the unusual relationship I have with them.
    "Obviously I don’t have sex with my cats. It’s just pure, spiritual, unconditional love on both sides, as simple as that."
    News Dog Media [​IMG]
    Barbarella even has a tattoo displaying the initials of her two cats Spider and Lugosi
    To celebrate their three-year anniversary, Barbarella got a tattoo of her two tabbies on her right leg.
    "I wanted something of Lugosi and Spider on my body. If they died, I would never marry another cat. They’re my first cats and no other cat in the future can change that.
    "If a man ever approaches me, I just tell them straight off, “Sorry, I’m married to my cats.” If they think it’s odd, I don’t care."
    She says that married life with her moggies is easy.
    News Dog Media [​IMG]
    The certificate of marriage between Barbarella and her two cats
    "As much as my relationship with my ex worked in the first few years, he then became lazy. I’d come home and his clothes would be strewn across the living room floor. I was always cleaning up after him.
    "My relationship with Lugosi and Spider is different because I accept that they’re cats; they can’t take me to the hospital if I’m ill and they can’t make me dinner. They’re my companions."
    No limit to her love
    Barbarella spoils her feline hubbies and admits she would happily go bankrupt for them.
    "My cats eat better than me. I want them to stay healthy so I’ve put them on a pricey, raw meat diet. Their food is far more expensive than mine.
    "One cat’s meals cost £17 per week. I also mix vitamin powder into their food which is £50 per bag. I would take out a loan to save my cats or borrow money if they needed an operation. There’s no limit to what I’d do."
    News Dog Media [​IMG]
    Cat-themed memorabilia which adorn Barbarella's house
    Barbarella has more than 364 cat-themed items – and tributes to Spider and Lugosi – adorning her one-bedroom flat, on which she’s spent thousands of pounds over the years.
    Some of her memorabilia includes a ‘catified’ toilet seat and a wardrobe of outfits decorated with pictures of felines. She hopes to show the world that her marriage to Lugosi and Spider is a positive partnership.
    She explains, "There is nothing perverse or disgusting about my union with my cats. Lugosi and Spider have been my constant companions for 16 years, the longest relationship I have ever had with anyone."
     
  2. thegroovologist

    thegroovologist Well-Known Member

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  3. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

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    There's only one Barbarella



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  4. Roland Schwinn

    Roland Schwinn *Likes reported as of October 14, 2016

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    Well this is certainly one upping beth on the "Crazy Cat Lady" scale. Someone better let beth know she needs to step up her game!
     
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  5. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    People in this country have too much free time.
     
  6. Dick Fitzwell

    Dick Fitzwell Opinions are like assholes ... and so am I

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    I love how people like her think their pets love them "unconditionally." Stop feeding them for a while and see how much they love you.
     
  7. goldphoenix

    goldphoenix Well-Known Member

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    Beth would never marry her cats, they don't have marbles. They can't keep her in $2000 shoes and bags.
     
  8. rogmar

    rogmar Well-Known Member

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    Exactly,i think Beth turned to animals because deep down she knows she can't really offer another human being anything as she's a bit of an airhead.
     
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  9. YodaQuiversStern

    YodaQuiversStern Turn and face the strange

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    ....WOW.... That's just weird. The fact a website like that exists is pretty telling of how many crazy people there are walking amongst us.
     
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  10. Time Bandit

    Time Bandit Well-Known Member

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    guilty
     
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  11. Snotty

    Snotty My Snothand be strong!!! VIP Gold

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    Joe Bauers likes this.
  12. Joe Bauers

    Joe Bauers Well-Known Member

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    Alice Got a sex change ? :bigcry:

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    [​IMG]
     
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  13. Fred Derp

    Fred Derp Well-Known Member

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    Weren't these kind of people called mentally ill at one point? Now it's like we are just expected to accept this kind of behavior
     
  14. Kool

    Kool Well-Known Member

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    My crazy brother found that out recently.
     
  15. Tracy

    Tracy Little Miss Sunshine

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    I think it's sweet how good she is to her cats. Beth feeds her cats crappy Rachel Ray food. She would never spend that kind of cash to keep them healthy and ensure longevity. This woman, while perhaps a little unstable, is more worthy of the title "cat lover" or "animal activist."
     
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  16. beetlejosh

    beetlejosh "About a hundred feet taller." Gold

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  17. Tovahund

    Tovahund Just a good dog.

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    She's a Brit.
     
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  18. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    Well, they have too much time there too.
     
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