Beth's big competition on Amazon

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by markluke, Nov 21, 2014.

  1. markluke

    markluke Well-Known Member

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    So, despite all of the promotional tv appearances, book signings, the "serious" message for a "good cause", and Howie's endless on-air blathering, the book is #11.

    It's being beaten by a board book which is #9

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    A sticker book which is at #8

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    A Minecraft book set at #7

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    And a reasonably priced ($2.19) Frozen Hardcover at #6

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    Is Howie going to wish cancer on these other authors?
     
  2. Richards Dad

    Richards Dad Well-Known Member

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    That's funny, I actually have that first book for my 2 year old daughter.
     
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  3. Rescued Owl

    Rescued Owl VIP Extreme Gold

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    $10.57 for 32 pages ? GTFO.
    Just got done reading some of the reviews on Amazon. Funny as shit. The 5 star ones are almost as good as the 1 stars.
    Right now it's rated 3.3 out of 5.
    Wiggy and Buchwald have those Indian followers working their asses off.
     
  4. Vashier

    Vashier VIP Extreme Gold

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    Now now lets be fair, none of those books are in the. "Children's book, Adoption, written by author with blind cat, blind cat because it can not see because it's blind", category now are they ..... HMMMMMMM?
     
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  5. markluke

    markluke Well-Known Member

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    And think - it's not a brand new, heavily publicized book with a whole PR team and tv appearances behind it. And it's selling more than Beff's.
     
  6. RonHeinzkaboot

    RonHeinzkaboot Adultophile VIP

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    I noticed for her Dog Awards Tv appearance she dressed like the character from Frozen.
     
  7. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner!

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    Those Sticker Books are a tough competition. When Private Parts came out it took time to get past them sticker books. Sticker Books are the "IN" thing. Right Robin?....Robin?
     
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  8. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner!

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    It's ridiculous that her garbage can be sold on a same site that sells Stephen King books.
     
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  9. al pacinos baby

    al pacinos baby Well-Known Member

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    I noticed that one day the Lena Dumhams book was about even between 5 and 1 star reviews. Around 80 each. Then overnight, the 5 star reviews jumped to 187. The publishers must have a whole staff dedicated to fake this bullshit.
     
  10. Ingens

    Ingens VIP Extreme Gold

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    Hopefully Lisa G's book will outsell Beth's.
     
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  11. rabbigottfried

    rabbigottfried Well-Known Member

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    Saw this review on Amazon, it's a Five Star review and is funny.


    First off, let me give you a little background about myself. I have worked in the past as a lead interrogator at Guantanamo Bay. Transitioning into a life post Guantanamo hasn't been easy, and it has been definitely difficult adjusting to my new line of work as an undercover CIA operative working to eliminate the threat known as ISIS.





    Let me tell you how this book changed not only my life, but the future path of Islamic fundamentalism that has been running rampant across the globe.

    Without giving away too many details that may compromise national security, in a nutshell, ISIS has been a huge pain in my rear end. When you are dealing with people like this, no amount of standard interrogation techniques will break them into giving up tactical positions, or leading us to the terrorist known as Jihadi John.

    We have tried everything with our captured prisoners. Ice picks, nail clippers, electricity, chemicals, water, drugs, and these fundamentalists pretty much shout out "Allahu Akbar" We have gotten nowhere, and as you have seen over the last few months, ISIS and Jihadi John have continued to cause terror and make well produced theatrical releases of this terror.

    Well, not anymore. Today I was approached by a young arab boy selling chiclets and bootleg dvd's of the movie Avatar. He also had a series of books with a strange looking creature on the cover. At first glance I assumed it was a cool story about some kind of very wise abominable snowman. So i purchased one in exchange for 2 pall mall cigarettes. (btw, chiclets cost me 3)

    Anyway, later on, we were doing our standard interrogation with a lower level ISIS member. Once again, nothing was working at all. Even the advance high frequency sound torture i had discovered just a couple years earlier didn't work. So, while sitting in front of one of these captured terrorists, i took my customary smoke break and started to open the pages of this book.

    Almost instantly i felt queasy. With every word i read the sicker i became. I didn't understand what was happening to my body, but the more i got invested into this story about a cat with a horrible life that was saved and given a good life, the sicker i became. When my vomit turned into that of the projectile nature, i shut the book and turned it over and instantly felt better.

    Let me just tell you this, as someone on the inside, i have seen many strange things that could be classified as supernatural. There are forces at play which are good and evil that are constantly battling. Sometimes there is no logical explanation for these occurrences. This is one of those times.

    I forced this terrorist to look at this book and in a flash, not only did he throw up all over his worn ISIS uniform, but he gave up vital information about the where a bouts of a few mid level ISIS members we were trying to find. As i type this we are currently gathering intel about even higher up members on the isis food chain from these mid level members. And yes, it was the book that allowed us to torture these men into submission. Soon we will be led to and capture Jihadi John and the threat known as ISIS will be no more.

    I know many of you probably question the validity of this story, and to be honest, I am glad you do. For those enlightened few out there, this will not come as a surprise. Life is really all about the battle of good and evil, and within this battle it gets complicated. There are unexplained and unnatural forces out there that cause all the pain, suffering and even joy in this world. There is no explanation.

    This book on the surface is the epitome of evil. Through our interrogations we found out it was being used to submit moderate muslims into taking on an extreme ideology. This book was pre released early to a select few in this circle for the very purpose of enacting terrorism upon the innocent. Thanks to a young arab boy that was just trying to feed his 16 half brothers and sisters, it fell into my hands, and now it is being used for good.

    This is the thing about evil, it can be used for good if put into the right hands. However, this evil doesn't go away, and you must always be prepared to see in it things that, on the surface seem good. Cute, cuddly, white cat kid story written by an apparent righteous lady that saves God's creatures from suffering? Sounds beautiful doesn't it? Not everything is what it seems however, and this story is what us in the know like to call "pure evil" Open your eyes, your heart and your soul and truly recognize what pure evil is. Only then can we truly save the world and make this world a better place for all to live in. Pure evil is just that, there is no need have a rational explanation. It just is.

    Hopefully this book will finally allow people to recognize what this pure evil is and I truly do pray, that for once, people will accept and not question it, and use this evil for good.
     
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  12. markluke

    markluke Well-Known Member

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    Stephen King vs Stupid Kunt.
     
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  13. MutteringJohn

    MutteringJohn Well-Known Member

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    Beth's book cost how much, Shut The Front Door!
     
  14. SillyOldMan

    SillyOldMan Well-Known Member

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    #8 (ranked right now) in the "Children's Books" category on Amazon is a lot better than I thought the book would do fwiw.

    It is still a stupid book idea and the writing is laughably bad, but a children's book is a much better plan of action than trying to sell a bikini calendar of a 45 year old Ames catalogue model.
     
  15. Winston Ono

    Winston Ono Well-Known Member

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    Will there be a braille version for readers who are blind, like Bella the blind cat, who is blind?