Listening to an old show when ETM reads an excerpt from his book 'Dougie the Puggy'. Hypocrite Howie and the gang mock Eric for how bad it is. So I decided to go to Amazon and look at the writing of Beth's Yoda book. I have transcribed the contents for a proper literary comparison. How would Howie react to another celebrity wife writing a children's book? Dougie the Puggy: The Holiday Story (Children’s version) Eric Lynch It was three days before Christmas and Dougie the Puggy was putting his four little puppies to bed. “Daddy?”, said little Peggy as she hopped onto her bed. “Yes Peggy?” Said Dougie. Peggy snuggled under her covers. “Can you please tell us my favorite Christmas story about when you were a puppy? The one about you, Uncle Athens and Aunt Alaska helping Eric out to meet his future wife?” Dougie smiled, “OK but afterwards you must go right to sleep.” All the puppies were very excited. The puppies that belonged to Alaska wanted to hear the story and so did the puppies that belonged to Athens. They all pulled their beds closer to Dougie’s puppies to listen. By the glow of the glittering Christmas tree lights, and the warm fire in the fireplace, Dougie the Puggy began to tell his tale with Athens and Alaska and all their little puppies listening. Yoda: The Story of a Cat and His Kittens New York Times Bestselling Author Beth Stern Yoda was a Persian kitten. Perky ears. Smiling eyes. Pretty fur. Long fluffy tail. He used to have dreams about climbing trees, catching mice and becoming a supercat. Back at home Yoda was still feeling blue, when all of a sudden… CRASH! MEW! MEW! MEW! PURR! PURR! PURR! What’s that? he wondered. He followed the sounds down a long hallway. (Illustration depicts sign hanging on door that reads: FOSTER KITTENS INSIDE! PLEASE KEEP DOOR CLOSED AT ALL TIMES! THANK YOU!) Yoda sprang into action. “Get down from there. NOW!” “Bad news – the parakeet in the painting isn’t, um, real.” “Fur + Milk = Yuck.” Then he got down to the business of grooming Archie. “Where was this kitten born? Under a rock?” If there’s one lesson every cat needs to learn, it’s that bath time is an absolute must.