Beyonce's $900 drinking straws

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by VAsiCkBoy, Jun 2, 2013.

  1. VAsiCkBoy

    VAsiCkBoy Well-Known Member

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    if you want Beyonce to perform at your venue, you better not expect Her Holiness's lips to touch something as plebeian as a plastic straw. The pop diva's alleged tour rider hit the Web in early May and among her divalicious demands for her concert venues were that all bathrooms must have new toilet seats and red toilet paper -- and that alkaline water must be chilled to 21 degrees and served with $900 titanium straws. "Bow Down" indeed.

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    http://www.grantland.com/blog/holly...ed-her-titanium-straws-and-magic-toilet-paper

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  2. Vyb

    Vyb serial chiller Gold

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    Red toilet paper? :wtf:
     
  3. Swayze

    Swayze Guest

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    Thatd feel nice up my shitpussy
     
  4. Apple the cat

    Apple the cat Moral conscience of the Shed

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    Doesn't like to be reminded when she's on the rag.
     
  5. Vyb

    Vyb serial chiller Gold

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    How can you tell when you've scrubbed too hard and started bleeding back there? :dontknow:
     
  6. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    the red TP makes no sense at all.

    who even makes that?
     
  7. beatlejaws

    beatlejaws nowhere poster

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    she'd probably argue that she needs to protect that horrible singing voice
     
  8. VAsiCkBoy

    VAsiCkBoy Well-Known Member

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  9. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

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    nouveau-riche trash :facepalm:
     
  10. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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  11. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    absolutely!

    rumor has it she's :quote: pregnant :quote: again. :giggle:
     
  12. Butcher

    Butcher ?

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    You can't fix blaek
     
  13. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    found a review:

    Lightly perfumed and extremely soft with three layers, the red toilet tissue kind of looks like a roll of streamers you'd use to decorate a little girl's birthday party. Instead, it would be used on poo. When I headed to the bathroom with my new bum paper in tow, did my business, and wiped my nether regions, I felt like I was patting my lady bits and buttonhole with a smooth cotton tee. Also, there were no tissue pieces left behind. I had a clean vadge and bum and basically felt prepared to rule the world. This was toilet paper of the stars.

    I then used regular toilet paper to compare.
    Ooph. There was definitely a difference. The reg TP felt rough, like I was scratching my booty with a brush. I can see why a star like Beyoncé might request only luxurious red toilet paper be in all the bathrooms. Your private parts deserve to be treated like royalty. Happy bottom, happy life.

    Read more: Beyonce Tour Rider Red Toilet Paper - What Red Toilet Paper Is Like - Cosmopolitan
    Follow us: @Cosmopolitan on Twitter | Cosmopolitan on Facebook
    Visit us at Cosmopolitan.com
     
  14. VAsiCkBoy

    VAsiCkBoy Well-Known Member

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    Wouldn't brown toilet paper be more appropriate?
     
  15. ralphberries

    ralphberries Well-Known Member

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    Fucking boon
     
  16. Tigger Please

    Tigger Please VIP Extreme Gold

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    She can do what she wants with her money, but I hope she has studied the life lessons of MC Hammer, Dionne Warwick, and Toni Braxton. Even Barry Manilow at one point was down to his last $11,000, and I don't think he was ever demanding things like $900 straws.
     
  17. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    how do you chill water to 21 degrees anyway?

    celsius?

    and what is alkaline water?

    what the fuck is wrong with her?
     
  18. Tigger Please

    Tigger Please VIP Extreme Gold

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    Can you imagine what a pain in the ass she must be? I know that sounds rhetorical, but try to picture anything around her NOT being about anything but herself
     
  19. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    :facepalm:

    The Mayo clinic is the only recognized medical authority in the US to make a statement regarding the use of alkaline water. According to Mayo clinic nutritionist Katherine Zeratsky

    Some studies suggests that alkaline water may help slow bone loss, but further investigation is needed to determine if this influences overall bone mineral density and if the benefit is maintained over the long term.
    Zeratsky points to the lack of research on alkaline water when it comes to other health claims:

    Because alkaline water has a higher pH level than does plain tap water, proponents say that it can neutralize acid in your bloodstream, boost your metabolism and help your body absorb nutrients more effectively. Some even say that alkaline water can help prevent disease and slow the aging process. However, researchers haven't verified these claims. (Zeratsky, K)


    Read more: http://www.lifeionizers.com/water-facts/alkaline-water.html#ixzz2V4mdxWrB
     
  20. sstressed

    sstressed enhancement toker VIP

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    :jj: