Brazilian Robber gets owned by female MMA fighter...

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by chapped, Oct 6, 2015.

  1. chapped

    chapped Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    24
    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2012
    Messages:
    55,607
    Likes Received:
    61,873
    [​IMG]


    Earlier this week, Brazilian fighter Monique Bastos was on her way to the gym to work out when two men approached her and stole her cell phone. One of the men took it and escaped but Bastos was able to chase down the other man, knock him down, and put him into a “triangle choke.” The move consists of wrapping your legs around a person’s head and squeezing.

    This must be some move because this guy was not only turning the same color as his shirt, but calling out to anyone who would listen:

    “Dad, Dad, I’m going to my dad. Call the police, father. Help! Help, Jesus. Please, I did not rob. Why would I do this? Help. Help. Look at my wallet. Help. Help. Sir, help me. Please don’t show my card. This was the first time. She’s choking me. Where’s my mom? Aie, Aie, Aie. Help! Help! Please, I need my wallet. No, I did not rob anything, no.”

    Wow! So many questions. First, the beginning makes you think he’s dying or something and “going to my dad” like he sees a light. Then, he mentions to look at his wallet, but then says “don’t show my card.” What card? Now I wanna see the card. He ends it in pathetic fashion by asking for his mommy.

    I hope this embarrassing scared-straight moment prevents this guy from ever doing anything illegal again. I mean seriously, he wouldn’t last five minutes in jail. Bastos is doing him a favor

    http://eugenedailynews.com/2015/09/where-did-the-week-go-98/


     
    Oct 6, 2015 #1
    IfTheyOnlyKnew, Joe Bauers, RenchFries and 2 others like this.
  2. TheSurvivingJesusTwin

    TheSurvivingJesusTwin Half as ubiquitous

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2015
    Messages:
    1,490
    Likes Received:
    3,026
    [​IMG]
     
    Oct 6, 2015 #2
    IfTheyOnlyKnew, Joe Bauers, DuckDong and 1 other person like this.
  3. F Timmy

    F Timmy Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    12,395
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2014
    Messages:
    652
    Likes Received:
    1,790
    Fuck yeah. Pop his thieving head like a zit. Then poke him in the eye, like 50 times....
     
    Oct 6, 2015 #3
    IfTheyOnlyKnew, potroast and Joe Bauers like this.
  4. propagandhi

    propagandhi Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2013
    Messages:
    668
    Likes Received:
    783
    He lacks proper technique...theft and jiu jitsu
     
    Oct 6, 2015 #4
    RenchFries likes this.
  5. Droog

    Droog Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    46,702
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    19,655
    Likes Received:
    26,369
    Wish I knew what he was saying. He was crying like a little bitch.
     
    Oct 6, 2015 #5
    IfTheyOnlyKnew, Joe Bauers and chapped like this.
  6. FishySausage

    FishySausage In Robin’s fridge VIP

    Reputations:
    109,234
    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2010
    Messages:
    20,327
    Likes Received:
    36,406
    Maricon :facepalm:
     
    Oct 6, 2015 #6
    IfTheyOnlyKnew, potroast and chapped like this.
  7. njguy8

    njguy8 VIP Extreme VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    27,821
    Joined:
    May 30, 2012
    Messages:
    8,731
    Likes Received:
    15,081
    Good for her.

    If you're pathetic enough to take other people's property in order to survive, than fuck you.

    Scumbags like this deserve to be in Prison - which should actually be a welcomed change from living in the streets with nothing.

    At least in jail they'll get 3 meals a day.

    Fucking assholes do nothing but cost all of us taxpayers money. That's all this bullshit narrows down too.

    That's why I'm happy to see any of them get their ass handed to them.
     
    Oct 6, 2015 #7
    IfTheyOnlyKnew, Joe Bauers and RenchFries like this.
  8. Bianca's Dead Carcass

    Bianca's Dead Carcass Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    346
    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2015
    Messages:
    623
    Likes Received:
    1,036
    I'm kind of turned on..do it to me babe…mmmmmmmm….
     
    Oct 6, 2015 #8
    RobotsVsMonsters likes this.
  9. RenchFries

    RenchFries Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    69,994
    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2012
    Messages:
    28,557
    Likes Received:
    33,886
    I'll be honest I'm very curious about what it's like to bang one of these martial arts chicks, but I don't want them choking me to death.
     
    Oct 7, 2015 #9
    IfTheyOnlyKnew and Joe Bauers like this.
  10. Dr Congo

    Dr Congo Active Member

    Reputations:
    221
    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2015
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    185
    This is what she looks like when not choke-holding someone
    http://i.***************/i/pix/2015/09/03/09/2BEE47B300000578-3220730-image-a-20_1441269853321.jpg
     
    Oct 7, 2015 #10
    IfTheyOnlyKnew and Joe Bauers like this.
  11. Joe Bauers

    Joe Bauers Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    2,394
    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2012
    Messages:
    31,604
    Likes Received:
    48,366
    Should have Killed him...:coffee:
     
    Oct 7, 2015 #11
    IfTheyOnlyKnew and NiggalissCage like this.
  12. RenchFries

    RenchFries Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    69,994
    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2012
    Messages:
    28,557
    Likes Received:
    33,886
    Meh.

    Would still bang out of curiosity.

    And what's up with that tattoo? That's just horrible in every way.
     
    Oct 7, 2015 #12
    IfTheyOnlyKnew likes this.