Breaking: Miracle drug invented that cures cancer, A.I.D.S., and ebola

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by RenchFries, Jun 22, 2015.

  1. RenchFries

    RenchFries Well-Known Member

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    The Northern Korean dictator has made some spectacular claims about scientific advances in the country


    North Korea has created a wonder drug which not only cures Aids, but also eradicates Ebola and cancer, if the latest proclamation from the country’s news agency is to be believed.

    An announcement says that the miracle cure consists of ginseng grown from fertiliser and a mix of other ingredients- but did not reveal the special combination.

    The dictatorship, which is known for making far-fetched claims about its achievements, says that the medicine will apparently be injectable and will be known by the name of Kumdang-2.

    In a statement published by Korean Central News Agency of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea to herald the news, Dr Jon Sung Hun said: “The researchers insert rare earth elements (REE) into insam (gingseng) by applying the mico-elementary fertilizers of REE to the fields of insam.”

    “The injection is made of extracts from those complex compounds. As a strong-immuno-activator, the injection has been recognized to prevent different malignant epidemics.”

    The drug’s website cites a medical study in Africa where the drug was tested on HIV positive patients. It records that every single participant in the trial noted an improvement, with 56 per cent being completely cured and 44 per cent noting a considering improvement in their condition.

    The North Korean scientists also revealed that the drug is capable of curing ‘a number of cancers’. But did not divulge which ones or provide details of the medical trials which support this claim.

    The dictatorship is known for making outlandish claims about its own prowess. The state claims that Kim Jong Il invented the hamburger and had magical powers which meant he did not need to use the toilet.

    They also claim that he was born atop a North Korean mountain prompting a double rainbow and new star to spontaneously appear. Unfortunately for the state, records show that he was born in Siberia.

    Yesterday the UN revealed that around 10.2 million North Koreans are currently facing famine as the dictatorship experiences its “worst drought for over a hundred years.”


    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/w...cancer-with-single-miracle-drug-10332386.html
     
  2. RenchFries

    RenchFries Well-Known Member

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    Kim Yong Un is a genius.
     
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  3. geo

    geo Well-Known Member

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    kumdang :jj:
     
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  4. NipplesAndToes23

    NipplesAndToes23 Former Vice Regent to the Bar POTY Gold

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    That motherfucker is going to be as fat as Hyundai boy before too long.
     
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  5. BrulesRules

    BrulesRules Just grab 'em in the biscuits VIP

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    Thank you great leader :bow:
     
  6. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Not followin whitey's rules

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  7. Dionysus

    Dionysus Shit Mult

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    Fixed
     
  8. Sharrack

    Sharrack Well-Known Member

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    More than likely pure bullshit but even if they did.......it would take a few BILLION DOLLARS in trials and tests for it to be available in the US.
    Fuck it.......slip it in Rodmans suitcase and let him selll it.
     
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  9. Gomez

    Gomez VIP Extreme Gold

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    I'd totally snort that offa korean hooker's tits
     
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  10. TonyJax

    TonyJax Jump For Black Cock Banned User

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  11. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Judas Gold

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  12. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter 2010 OG Gold

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    The North Koreans are about as trustworthy as Obama.:rolleye:
     
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  13. SorryBoff

    SorryBoff Well-Known Member

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    I will stick to western medicine, Kim Jong Il's is not injecting his Kum Dang into me.
     
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  14. beatlejaws

    beatlejaws nowhere poster

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  15. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Judas Gold

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    A man of vision and peace who dropped the bomb anyway.
    God bless you Harry. :salute:
     
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  16. Dionysus

    Dionysus Shit Mult

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    Truman was too much of a pussy wimp, to let MacCarthur go in there and blow out those commie bastards!!
     
  17. RenchFries

    RenchFries Well-Known Member

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    :jj:
     
  18. Shedding Skin

    Shedding Skin Damp Banned User

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    Fucking /thread
     
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  19. EOMS

    EOMS Well-Known Member

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    "Good answer. Good answer. I like the way you think. I'm gonna be watching you."
     
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  20. gwartney

    gwartney Is there gas in the car? 2010 OG Gold

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    He could make billions from desperate people with late stage cancer trying his "cure." But I'm sure this hasn't occurred to him.