WTF Brothel menus- what sounds good to you?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MilkyDischarge, Aug 26, 2016.

  1. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Se suelto el diablo Gold

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    Moonlight Bunny Ranch
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    Sage brook Ranch
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    Mustang Ranch
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    Special Shows
    Lingerie Show ~ For your eyes only, a private parade of nightgowns, garters, panties, teddies, and more!
    Vibrator Show ~ Watch her titillate herself…or you take your turn doing it for her!
    Shower Show ~ Good clean fun as our ladies lather themselves up for a wet and wild experience!
    Two (or more) Girl Show ~ Sit back and watch your ladies frolic, play, and pleasure one another right before your very eyes!
    Drag Party ~ With her wardrobe at your disposal, this time it’s you who gets to put on the show!
    Sexy Cinema ~ Sit with a lady (or two) of your choice and enjoy the best in adult pornographic full length features or short films!
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    Remember,
    Everything is negotiable!
    We will do our best to make you "more than satisfied"!

    DOWNLOAD THE
    MENU HERE

    Foreplay
    Nude Massage ~ No need for clothing for either of you! Relieve the days tensions with a soothing and relaxing full body massage from a gorgeous lady of your choice all the way to your ultimate climax and release! Need 4 hands all over your body? Enjoy twice the pleasure with two ladies!
    Breast Massage ~ It’s not what you think. Imagine the feel of two soft, supple breasts gliding their way across your body in sensual motion! It’s unlike anything you can imagine!
    French Tease ~ Imagine a gorgeous lady gently and sensually kissing, nibbling, and licking all over your neck, ears, shoulders, nipples, and torso!
    Fire & Ice ~ Experience the soothing warmth or the exhilarating chill of a woman’s mouth as she teases you with different temperature liquids in an oral sex experience you won’t soon forget!
    Wild Horse Chair Party ~ Bet ya can’t sit still! Pull up a chair and watch your lady go down on you and then reverse the roles as you pleasure her!
    Berries & Cream ~ Feast on ripe, fresh berries and sweet whipped cream right off the soft nude body of one of our beautiful ladies.
    Shower Party ~ Shower with your lady…which you can enjoy before or after your sexual journey. Warning! The water is warm and the suds are oh so slippery! ;-)
    Cuddly Softness ~ Need to just feel pampered and adored? Sometimes you’re just not in the mood for a full blown sexual encounter but you still want to feel the nurturing closeness of that special someone. Lie down in sheer bliss as your lady lies next to you with a soothing touch, and the warm softness of her skin next to yours!
    Bubble Bath ~ If you’re feeling a little “dirty”, you can always indulge yourself in an aroma-filled bubble bath with a lady (or two) of your choice! Complete with champagne!
    Full Pleasure
    Straight Lay ~ Conventional Missionary style sex…when keeping it simple is still the best!
    Wild Horse Round Up ~ To hell with “conventional”! Mix it up in whatever position you wish! Try our sex swing or any one of our carefully selected and specifically “engineered” sex furnishings!
    Half & Half ~ How you start and how you finish is up to you! Oral and straight sex.
    Ménage à Trois ~ (house recommendation) The classic two on one sexual encounter that’s sure to please “everyone”!
    Bondage & Domination ~ Take charge of your sweet lady or let her dominate you into submission. Furry handcuffs, light bondage restraints, and other pleasure implements are available to please even the most discriminate B&D palate!
    Specialties
    Bungalow Party ~ Choose from a wide variety of themed suites to party in, The Italian Suite, Asian Suite, Hawaiian Suite, Safari Suite, just to name a few. See and “experience” the world’s largest bed….sleeps twelve for a REAL party time!
    In Ranch and Off Ranch Dates ~ You can book a lady (or ladies) for as long as you like on or off the ranch property. Overnight stays with your lady in her private room are always welcome!
    Jacuzzi Parties ~ Indoor or outdoor group events for wet and wild erotic fun!
    Bachelor Parties ~ Catering to the groom to be and all his merry men!
    VIP Party Room ~ Create your own themed party in our private VIP Room, complete with mirrors, stage, music, movies, lavish furnishings and more!

    Sheris Ranch
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  2. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner!

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    @Bosch76 frequents the ranch for Drag parties. Srs.
     
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  3. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

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    How much to watch the hooker's soul actually leave her body?
     
  4. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member

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    So glad I don't have to resort to this to get laid.
     
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  5. Mr Sinister

    Mr Sinister Gold

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  6. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Se suelto el diablo Gold

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    You mean you have these kinds of options?
     
  7. Gitfiddle

    Gitfiddle Live Deliciously

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  8. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Se suelto el diablo Gold

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    I kinda like the Sagebrook Mirror Room, seeing 100 views of my cock violating and distending the bitch's anal lips.
     
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  9. Gitfiddle

    Gitfiddle Live Deliciously

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    Umm, you mean hemorrhoids?
     
  10. SlipperyVic

    SlipperyVic In Gord We Trust Gold

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    Silly man, hookers have no soul.
     
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  11. Apple the cat

    Apple the cat Moral conscience of the Shed

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    It's too late for that. Those souls have been gone for a long time. Cleveland steamer anyone???
     
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  12. Tony Macaroni

    Tony Macaroni Member

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    I don't need all these options. I'd just get two hot broads to fuck each other and then fuck me.
     
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  13. SlipperyVic

    SlipperyVic In Gord We Trust Gold

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    Do they have a lesbo package where you pretend to be a woman, make up.. tucking it back and a dress. You seduce the hooker and when she comments on your yuuge clit you strangle her and then wear her skin like a James Brown cloak?

    @MilkyDischarge
     
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  14. Time-Pilot

    Time-Pilot Well-Known Member VIP

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    no anal???
     
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  15. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Se suelto el diablo Gold

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    I believe so. Then you cut open her carotid artery, slurp the AIDS-ridden crimsom soup until she's withered like a dried leaf. Then you fill the other whores with your new HIV+ surprise when you spill your warm seed down their throat. They can't name you as the culprit because you end the tryst with a crunching knee to their larynx.
     
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  16. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Se suelto el diablo Gold

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    Not on the menu.
    You have to take gat one by force.
    Brothel rape is the equivalent of shoplifting a pack of gum.
     
  17. SlipperyVic

    SlipperyVic In Gord We Trust Gold

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    I would call you an evil genius.. but I just don't see where the evil comes in..
     
  18. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Se suelto el diablo Gold

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    I buy it by the box. Always keep some extras in the freezer, don't want to be caught without any.
    image.jpeg
     
  19. bluedevil30

    bluedevil30 Well-Known Member

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    Where is the rich guy with hot cat lady wife fantasy room?
     
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  20. FishySausage

    FishySausage Original Nuttah VIP Gold

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    Wouldn't fuck a hooker.
    Would never pay the ridiculous prices they charge if I were to dabble