Business Lunch Etiquette: 8 Rules

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by BuffaloTom, Nov 6, 2014.

  1. BuffaloTom

    BuffaloTom Closed By User Banned User

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    I'm not suggesting that anyone in this fine group of people at DS lack etiquette, but I thought every once and awhile I would drop some hints for those who may need some guidance. Although these helpful tips are directed towards business affairs they also cross over to non-business meetings as well.

    Get the Invitation Right
    Lunch with a client, potential business partner or new colleague can often be more productive than an office meeting. Getting out of the office and off the phone creates an environment more conducive to relaxing and candid conversation.
    When inviting someone to lunch, be respectful of his or her time and position.

    Who Chooses the Spot?
    If you're inviting, offer up some suggestions and let your guests pick. If they don't care, it's on you. But make sure to be careful and anticipate their preferences. You don't want to bring a vegetarian to a steakhouse.

    Time & Place
    Get there early. Always know the set-up of the restaurant and make sure both the venue and your table are right for your objective.
    One of my colleagues swears by this rule. If it's a celebratory or casual lunch with people he knows well, he gets a table in a central area, closer to the bar, where it's typically more boisterous. If it's a serious conversation and he wants to get something accomplished, he opts for a quiet table in the corner.

    When to Talk Business
    On the golf course, the common rule of thumb is not to get down to business before the fourth hole. At the table, it's a bit more ambiguous.

    Speaking of Drinks...
    Sorry, Don Draper--if you're taking clients to lunch and your company is paying, you should probably skip the alcohol. But if your client wants to imbibe, let him order a drink. A good rule of thumb is to let your guests order first, so they're not inhibited by your choice.

    Handling the Bill
    There is an art to handling the bill. You want to be graceful about it. When the check arrives, be nimble and reach for it swiftly--but keep looking your clients in the eye if they're speaking.
    By all means, don't stare at the line items with anything like shock or horror. That said, if there's an error with the bill, excuse yourself to talk to the waiter separately without making your guest feel uncomfortable.
    And when it's time to pay, act naturally: Don't disrupt the conversation, but make eye contact with the waiter so that he picks up your credit card quickly.

    Turn Off Your Phone
    Turn off your phone.
    Now is not the time to be checking your incoming email or texting your colleague. I've seen some people pick up their phones between courses instead of talking to others at the table. Just don't.

    Finally ... Have Fun
    Be yourself! There is a reason you're not in the office. You can accomplish quite a lot with business lunches, but you shouldn't lose sight of why they work so well: When people can relax and have a good time, they're more likely to open up, making it easier to strengthen a business relationship.

    Oh, and if her nipple pops out of her shirt during the meal don't stare!
     
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  2. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

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    Always use a bucket. :grad:




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  3. PI Nate

    PI Nate Disenfranchised since 1984... Gold

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    10. Do not attempt to purchase the children of other diners.

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    Last edited: Nov 6, 2014
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  4. HS Cult Leader

    HS Cult Leader Elite Member Gold

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    Keep bringing two Martini's every 5 minutes until one of us passes the fuck out!

     
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  5. PI Nate

    PI Nate Disenfranchised since 1984... Gold

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    12. Do not have an orgasm at the table.

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  6. HS Cult Leader

    HS Cult Leader Elite Member Gold

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    The one thing I HATE the most is when people are late as always (my asshole sister in law) to dinner either at home or in a restaurant and then want to shake hands after I've started eating while sitting at the table. :pissed:

    I don't want to shake someones filthy fuckin hand from the street while I'm eating, then I always need to get up and rewash mine.
     
  7. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    In some countries it's considered bad manners to vomit on your client when you drink too much. I'm not sure if the USA is one of them.
     
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  8. PI Nate

    PI Nate Disenfranchised since 1984... Gold

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    15. Do not execute other diners, gangland style.

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  9. BuffaloTom

    BuffaloTom Closed By User Banned User

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    Only acceptable if you are female...
     
  10. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

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    Always eat your grizzle. :grad:



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  11. GoshGeeGolly

    GoshGeeGolly VIP Extreme Gold

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    I hate people that are always late.
    I stop having dinner with them actually. They are not good company.
    And you make a point about touching you after you've started eating.
     
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