buzzfeed.com : 12 Things You Missed While Howard Stern Was On Sirius

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by koclem, May 14, 2012.

  1. koclem

    koclem .|..O..|. VIP Banned User

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    :facepalm:
    http://www.buzzfeed.com/katienotopoulos/12-things-you-missed-while-howard-stern-was-on-sir
    12 Things You Missed While Howard Stern Was On Sirius


    Howard Stern debuts as a judge on America's Got Talent tonight, but a lot of you haven't heard his show since he started on SiriusXM in 2005. Since I've been listening dutifully every day to the King of All Media for the last 7 years, allow me to bring you up to speed.posted about an hour ago
    1. He's a lot mellower now
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    Years of therapy and perhaps a mellower life have noticeably made a difference. He's relaxed, his kids are grown, he's happy in his job and isn't worried about competing against other disc jockeys like Mancow or Don Imus. He can now say "I love you" to his father and his father says it back. He's done transcendental meditation for a long time, but has very recently returned to prayer.

    2. Sal and Richard are doing amazing prank calls

    Their best work is prank calls to "Tradio" - local market radio shows where people can call in to sell or buy used items (basically a radio version of Craig's List). They call over and over mercilessly with fake items to sell, wasting the host's time. In this call, Richard describes his "item" ad nauseum but never says what the item actually is. It's sublime.

    3. Artie Lange isn't on the show anymore


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    After a 2010 suicide attempt, Artie left the show and hasn't come back. Howard has chosen not to replace him with another comedian in the "Jackie seat". The suicide attempt was particularly grisly (he reportedly stabbed himself in the stomach with a kitchen knife). I was so upset when this happened I mailed him a card to the station; the only time I've ever actually sent a fan letter by mail.

    4. He's super liberal now

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    Stern became a "9/11 Republican"; he was hawkish and was fully in support of the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. He was always liberal on social topics such as gay rights, and now he's a big supporter of gay marriage and is a large donor to animal rights organizations.
    (AP / Evan Agostini)

    5. There's new Wack Pack members

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    Eric the Actor (formerly Eric the Midget) is my favorite, there's also Debbie the Pet Lady, who is probably a certifiable paranoid schizophrenic, a weirdo from Maine called Bigfoot, and "Ass Napkin Ed" who got his for wearing a napkin tucked in his ass cheeks to soak up any leakage, are some of the newest wack packers.
    What's always delighted me about the wack pack is how Howard will treat them with the same interest and respect when talking to them as he would a celebrity guest.

    6. He's hands-down the best celebrity interview out there

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    Since leaving terrestrial radion, he doesn't get as many high-profile guests as frequently, but when he does, he manages to get the most personal and interviews out of people.
    He got Wilmer Valderrama to reveal he took Mandy Moore's virginity. He got Courtney Love to admit Gavin Rossdale cheated on Gwen Stefani with her back in the '90s. He got John Stamos to describe how he'd hide in the back of a florist's van to get past the paparazzi into Denise Richard's house to have sex with her.
    This morning, he got Art Alexakis from Everclear to admit he had the largest penis in the band. Admittedly, I didn't want to know that.
    (Reuters / STEPHEN CHERNIN)

    7. Robin lost 100lbs, Gary published a book.

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    Gary published an autobiography. I went to the book signing and met him (I reminded him he misspelled my name the last time I went to one of his signings in 1998). I didn't finish the book, though.
    Robin also took hallucinogenic drugs while on vacation in South America and is a strict vegan.
    (Getty Images / Andrew H. Walker)

    8. He's remarried and less of a perv now

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    And she changed her name to Beth Stern (even though this weekend's New York Times article on him referred to her as Beth Ostrovsky). Since he's been remarried, he has a very different attitude to female guests who come on the show; he doesn't ever get inappropriate with them or say lewd things. It's actually very sweet.
    (Getty Images / Theo Wargo)

    9. He still has porn stars on, but less often

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    When he does, he interviews them about their childhood and it's more like a therapy session. An exception to this was a classic moment when they had the inventory of the sybian, a female masturbation machine, in the studio to instruct a porn star on how to use it (pictured above). The guy was utterly creepy and his repeating the phrase "get the poison out" was the inspiration to the album title for the superb indie rock band The Beets.

    10. There are other shows on his Sirius channel, like Celebrity Superfan Roundtable

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    Howard is in charge of programming two SiriumXM channels. One channel replays his show several time throughout the day, and the other channel airs regular shows that he's handpicked the hosts for. Jackie Martling hosts a show on this channel, as well as some real radio people and comedians, and wack packers like Riley Martin whose show is about his belief in alien abductions.
    There's also a regular "superfan roundtable" show, and a few times a year a celebrity version with a regular group of celebrities who happen to be huge Stern fans: Mark McGrath, Jerry O'Connell, Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks, Jeff Probst, and David Arquette, who occasionally will work as an "intern" at the show for a week or two at a time.

    11. Kenneth Keith Kallenbach died in jail

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    Kenneth Keith was one of the original Wack Pack members from '80s, who first got onto the show by claiming he could smoke out of his eyes. In 2008, he died of pneumonia while in a private jail while awaiting trial for allegedly trying to lure an underage girl into his car.


    12. George Takei is the show's announcer

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    The former Star Trek star and current gays activist is the semi-official announcer for the show, and will come sit in for a week or two at a time throughout the year. It's a surprising fit, but he's great on the show, and somehow he can fit in with the rest of the crew naturally.


     
  2. Peau de Soie

    Peau de Soie Edit Button? Thanks LaserTilt!

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    Could that summary BE more wrong?

    I think not.

    All the gross inaccuracies are left as an exercise to the reader.
     
  3. yippeekyaa

    yippeekyaa Moved forward. VIP

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    Yes Robin lost 100 pounds and quickly gained back 200.
     
  4. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    It's far more accurate than Anything howard writes
     
  5. chapped

    chapped Well-Known Member

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    What a bunch of HORSE SHIT
     
  6. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

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    13. Howard now pisses on his fans
     
  7. BrulesRules

    BrulesRules Just grab 'em in the biscuits VIP

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    12 things you missed while Howard was on Sirius

    #12. He bashed Rosie O'Donnel before becoming great buddies with her and even helping her get a contract with Sirius.

    #11. He now only accepts phone calls from pre screened or paid people who only have positive things to say about him or his show.

    #10. He has become gay

    #9 Train is the house band

    #8 Howard ignored and used Artie Lange's drug abuse as show material until Artie tried to commit suicide.

    #7 Howard promoted his Sirius show as commercial free, the show now has commercials every 20 minutes including live reads during Robin's news.

    #6 Robin has gained all the weight she lost plus some.

    #5 Howard has sued his employer in what many would call a frivalous lawsuit claiming to be paid bonus money for subscribers gained through a merger with XM radio.

    #4 Howard doesn't have any whackpackers on his show...his producer Baba Booey has even admitted this is not a comedy show..it's evolved.

    #3 All the programming on Howard's channels is done by people already on staff or hacks who couldn't get jobs anywhere else. Benjy is the head writer for fucks sake!

    #2 He married a stupid horse face gold digging Cunt

    #1 If you are a fan of his he has pissed on you and told you to fuck off
     
  8. Peau de Soie

    Peau de Soie Edit Button? Thanks LaserTilt!

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    (BrulesRules is the reader, and he just exercised.)
     
  9. koclem

    koclem .|..O..|. VIP Banned User

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    13. Robin went bald
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  10. Peau de Soie

    Peau de Soie Edit Button? Thanks LaserTilt!

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    Those pictures aren't fair; she's WAY fatter than that now.
     
  11. guruhugz

    guruhugz Well-Known Member

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    13. He goes to the local bowling alley regularly now and drives his own car. That is his real hair and he does not dye it.
     
  12. LessMoonbeams

    LessMoonbeams New Member

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    =============

    Robin dribbles pee on her fans :jj:
     
  13. Uncle Larry

    Uncle Larry Well-Known Member VIP

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    Lame - I posted a response with my own version of the list which is more realistic.
     
  14. yippeekyaa

    yippeekyaa Moved forward. VIP

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    This?
    1. He has lost many of his long-time fans - calling him mellow is generous. Many fans now laugh at him instead of with him and Mr. Free Speech has resorted to pressuring owners of fan message boards to limit any critcism.
    2. Sal and Richard cut and paste clips to create unfunny calls which get replayed to death.
    3. Artie Lange is no longer a bro.
    4. IMO his political views have evolved in order to better fit in with the Hamptons and Hollywood elite.
    5. New wack packers seem like they are doing schtick to get on the air more than in prior years and most of them are not at all appealing.
    6. Howard is the best interviewer only if the litmus test is reading a list of tired questions asking about a guest's net worth and genitals (Howard is very interested in latter answer from his male guests).
    7. Robin lost weight and has gained it back - it also looks like she is losing a lot of hair. Gary wrote a horrid book and created a bunch of lame lists at the end to serve as filler. He also threw one of the most memorable first pitches in Mets' history.
    8. One of the reasons he said he got married is so that his wife could get respect from the doorman. He still sounds pervy and is especially intrigued by the sexual habits of any guest who is gay.
    9. Less porn stars on is one of the few improvements to his radio show since he moved to satellite.
    10. The other shows on his channels are dreadful, except for Scott Ferrall. Many of these mostly forgettable shows are hosted by backroom staff members (e.g. the Fat Guy show and the Fast Food Show) who are better suited for working behind the scenes than on the air.
    11. RIP Kenneth Keith - he was more of a character than most of the current wack packers on the Stern show.
    12. Is George Takei still associated with the show? He hasn't been on once in 2012 - hopefully Howard has not tightened up the purse strings so much that they can't afford to pay George to sit in for a grueling 3 day week.
     
  15. Uncle Larry

    Uncle Larry Well-Known Member VIP

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    Yep - just edited the list in the article to more closely match reality.
     
  16. punkinpie

    punkinpie New Member

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    Uncle Larry, I saw that and guessed it was a Saloon Member :)
     
  17. HowardsPrenup

    HowardsPrenup Well-Known Member

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    Train is the house band. Ha.

    13. Beth is up to 2 bales of hay a day

    14. Howard's daughters hate him

    15. He tried to sue Sirius, and lost

    16. Howard's teeth are now more ridiculous than booey's

    17. The show is no longer funny
     
  18. Sickboy

    Sickboy Latverian Monarch

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    Formally coming out today on the phone with Ryan Seacrest #facepalm.
     
  19. LisaGsDentures

    LisaGsDentures Active Member

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    ETM was on the show before Sirius
     
  20. Shithead

    Shithead Well-Known Member

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    Scoliosis for Horseface? She needs to be strapped to a board


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