Called to the carpet :(

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Dump Button, Aug 3, 2015.

  1. Dump Button

    Dump Button Former Mall Security Guard

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    So tomorrow I am being called to the carpet to explain my minor ef up at work. I have to go over it with my boss and his boss because my boss can't explain it right. I explained it to him earlier.

    What should i do? a soft joke? fart?

    I am a little nervous but I am more mad my boss can't explain it to his boss.

    Edit: The meeting commences at 11:00 am (EST) so forgive me for the delayed response in case i have to clean out my desk.
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2015
  2. Dump Button

    Dump Button Former Mall Security Guard

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    FACTS

    head boss is a prick



    my boss is a weakling who cowers to orders

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2015
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  3. MyLazyHand

    MyLazyHand Russia and France Know What to Do

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    Protein and caffeine are your friends. I like to load up on both and burst into situations like that determined to be the alpha male.

    By the time they realize their inferiority, they will have forgotten your minor transgressions with the payroll account and the strip club.


    This is about the strip club, right?
     
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  4. Roland Schwinn

    Roland Schwinn *Likes reported as of October 14, 2016 Gold

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    Best of luck dump! Just try and stay calm and explain the fuck up.

    I know, not the best advvice, but thats all i got.
     
  5. Nemo

    Nemo Beer Can Thick Gold

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  6. ChimneySweep

    ChimneySweep Well-Known Member

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    You will be fired. I would plan something BIG.
     
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  7. Dump Button

    Dump Button Former Mall Security Guard

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    I am thinking about explaining it on the greese board. like a football play sorta thing
     
  8. Dump Button

    Dump Button Former Mall Security Guard

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    I can load up super soakers just in case
     
  9. ChimneySweep

    ChimneySweep Well-Known Member

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    with urine
     
  10. SomerSky

    SomerSky Obsessed with what I hate Banned User

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    You are already Clearly shitting a brick. Best advice is to take an ambien so that you don't think about it all night. And just own up to it, you aren't curing fucking cancer!!!
     
  11. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    Sure... I will solve your problem with no other information other than you have a problem.

    My response: fix it.

    There, we're communicating with equal amounts of detail.
     
  12. ChimneySweep

    ChimneySweep Well-Known Member

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    I just hope his job is not to cure cancer.
     
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  13. Nemo

    Nemo Beer Can Thick Gold

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    If you are a regular white guy with no cards to play you'll have to rat someone out....right Robin?
    Is someone stealing office supplies?
     
  14. Bentknee

    Bentknee Well-Known Member

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    just take your knee-pads with you and everything will be alright
     
  15. SomerSky

    SomerSky Obsessed with what I hate Banned User

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    With a name Like Dump Button and "former mall security guard" I'm gonna go with hopefully not.....:)
     
  16. Rescued Owl

    Rescued Owl VIP Extreme Gold

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    When the meeting starts pull out a big joint and fire it up. It should help calm everyone's nerves.
     
  17. sstressed

    sstressed enhancement toker VIP

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    you know what you did so you just explain it in a logical order. it's not like you have to remember a lie or explain how somebody else did something. easy peasy.



    if that doesn't work, whip it out and spray the room with pee. it's like a dominance thing.
     
  18. MyLazyHand

    MyLazyHand Russia and France Know What to Do

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    I underqualified my current big bid opportunity by only $20 million last week. What's a little rounding error like $20 mil, right?

    It didn't cost us anything, but my new boss was losing his shit on a conference call until I reminded him that this means we can earn an extra 30% on the $20 million I didn't include.

    He cheered right up.

    Just own up, my friend. If they get hostile, remind yourself that the unemployment rate for white males with a degree is under 2%. You'll get a better job for more money if everything goes wrong.
     
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  19. TheMercenary

    TheMercenary Collecting Light Gold

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    Bring solutions. Own up to it, don't weasel or make any excuses, ask how you can make it right.
     
  20. Dump Button

    Dump Button Former Mall Security Guard

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    I gonna upper decker in the ladies room before work

    Just in case stuff
     
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