Can I become a lawyer today?

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by eliasbboy, Jul 1, 2014.

  1. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

    Reputations:
    213,654
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    36,325
    Likes Received:
    33,531
    I don't have to be good, or even competent. I just want something on paper that says I'm an attorney.

    I've already become an ordained minister online and secured my position on the first Intergalactic Council on advance of our relocation to moon colonies, so I know magical things can be accomplished thru the Internet.

    I'm in the middle of a legal scam with the city of Chicago and nothing would make me happier than being able to shove a "I Do Hereby Proclaim My Attorneyness" in this fucker's face.
     
  2. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    247,972
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    33,890
    Likes Received:
    25,120
    Just put "Esq." after your name... nobody ever verifies that shit.
     
  3. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

    Reputations:
    213,654
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    36,325
    Likes Received:
    33,531
    I would do that in a second but I already told this prick I was NOT an attorney before the scam was revealed.
     
  4. gilaet

    gilaet Zen As Fuck Gold

    Reputations:
    246,153
    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2010
    Messages:
    88,928
    Likes Received:
    22,114
    You going to prison?
     
  5. nserafini

    nserafini Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    3,385
    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2010
    Messages:
    5,260
    Likes Received:
    769
    You have to pass the BAR in your state....
     
  6. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

    Reputations:
    448,974
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    30,943
    Likes Received:
    32,572
    Just ask Mlaw how you fake being an attorney. :c
     
    yosemite sam likes this.
  7. yosemite sam

    yosemite sam VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    194,954
    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2012
    Messages:
    26,441
    Likes Received:
    19,311
    Illinois is lovely this time of the year
     
  8. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

    Reputations:
    213,654
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    36,325
    Likes Received:
    33,531
    Nah. I'd gladly do time if I could punch thus fucker in the face tho.

    There is a 15 foot section of CITY property (like a parkway) adjacent to our business property.

    Some of the local natives will dump trash/furniture/appliances there occasionally.

    We always call streets and Sanitation and they come out and remove it.

    We've been given tickets in the past, and I have to go to the court, explain how it is city property, wait around until they verify, and then the tickets are tossed.

    I go today for a ticket we received. My court time was 10am and I was there by 9:30.

    They send me back and forth to FIVE different clerks before this asshat asked if I was an attorney.

    I said no, I'm here for the company I own.

    He tells me they passed a law in March that states corporations cannot have any representation besides an attorney.

    I explained the ticketed property is not mine. He said I understand, but you need to explain that to the judge. Fine, I said. That's why I'm hear.

    He refused to let me in the courtroom because I'm not allowed without an attorney.

    Here's the best part.

    I can "pre-pay" the fine today only, for half price ($300), or pay $600 if I call for a continuance and then bring an attorney to try and get my money back.

    Cock sucking fucks.
     
  9. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    35,394
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    21,097
    Likes Received:
    5,868
    sounds easy but it's not :nono:
     
  10. gilaet

    gilaet Zen As Fuck Gold

    Reputations:
    246,153
    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2010
    Messages:
    88,928
    Likes Received:
    22,114
    What a clusterfuck.
     
  11. XuXu

    XuXu VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    883,873
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    22,319
    Likes Received:
    18,052
    Just go back later with a briefcase when someone else is at the counter.
     
    eliasbboy likes this.
  12. XuXu

    XuXu VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    883,873
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    22,319
    Likes Received:
    18,052
    Breeze your way in. Don't make it so complicated.
     
    eliasbboy likes this.
  13. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

    Reputations:
    213,654
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    36,325
    Likes Received:
    33,531
    I'm going to go back as my evil twin (complete with painted on black goatee) the Attorney at Law.

    download.jpg
     
    gilaet likes this.
  14. Chief2Kick

    Chief2Kick I'm all sixes & sevens & nines Staff Member

    Reputations:
    149,598
    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    44,755
    Likes Received:
    16,332
    I think I would need a bail bondsman before I needed a lawyer.
     
  15. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter VIP

    Reputations:
    222,392
    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2010
    Messages:
    211,947
    Likes Received:
    35,074
    says:fail:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:jj:
     
  16. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter VIP

    Reputations:
    222,392
    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2010
    Messages:
    211,947
    Likes Received:
    35,074
    Yeah, you're a real bad ass.
     
  17. nserafini

    nserafini Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    3,385
    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2010
    Messages:
    5,260
    Likes Received:
    769
    First, I'd assume even as a small business you have some legal rep you deal with on contracts for the business. I'd call and ask them if that's valid.

    My understanding is a small business representative can act pro se depending on some monetary/criminal factors, especially in the case of a fine or ticket ( which doesn't require a law degree; people can self represent for most tickets )....

    Regardless, you know city hall will probably win
     
    eliasbboy likes this.
  18. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

    Reputations:
    213,654
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    36,325
    Likes Received:
    33,531
    I'm sure you're right. It's just so aggravating to pay knowing I could win contesting it, but spend more than the fine in the process.

    Something I'm SURE they are well aware of. :mad:
     
  19. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

    Reputations:
    213,654
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    36,325
    Likes Received:
    33,531
    I was going for more of a mini-bar type situation. :jj:
     
    Shivvy likes this.
  20. Shivvy

    Shivvy Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    238,070
    Joined:
    May 23, 2011
    Messages:
    124,183
    Likes Received:
    45,099
    id love to become a lawyer. id be so good at that shit