WTF Caution: masturbation may summon sex demons

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MilkyDischarge, Mar 6, 2016.

  1. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Proud Schtick POTY 2016 Gold

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    image.jpeg Masturbation Opens Spiritual Portals
    In the world of the spirit and according to Jesus Christ: the sexual thought is the same as the sexual act (Matthew 5:28).

    When we use the powerful force of imaging something as if it were real, we are actually attracting that which we image into physical being.

    When we imagine having sex with another via masturbation, we are actually summoning the power of the spirit realm to manifest the thing we are imagining.

    We've all heard about the law of attraction by now, made popular from books and movies like The Secret. Well the law of attraction also works with sexual imaginings.

    There are such things as sex demons. And the danger in masturbating is that one could inadvertently summon a sex demon to attach itself to you through the act of masturbating. And once that demon attaches, it is difficult to get it to leave. It will drive you to masturbate, even when you don't want to. You'll be hit with urges to play with yourself so powerful that only an orgasm will allow you some temporary relief.

    In worst case scenarios the one demon may gather other unclean spirits to itself to also attach to your life. That way it can wrap you tighter in its web of control, making it that much more difficult for you to get free. And many never do (Matthew 12:43-45).

    By engaging in those acts of sexual impurity you are giving such evil spirits legal access into your life. And they will remain, causing untold personal pain, guilt and shame until the more powerful force of Jesus Christ is used against them to expel them from your life for good—See: Luke 8:29, Luke 9:39 and verse 42; Galatians 5:19-21; 2nd Corinthians 6:17-18
     
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  2. The Booey

    The Booey Well-Known Member

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    God, I hope so!
     
  3. chapped

    chapped Well-Known Member

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    wow... there is a tombstone in my backyard.. and ghost downstairs
    so joke is on the demons
     
  4. The Booey

    The Booey Well-Known Member

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    Amanda Donohoe in Lair of the White Worm

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  5. XXXXX

    XXXXX Well-Known Member

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    Is January Jones a sex demon?

    image.jpeg

    If so, i might be in trouble - big trouble...
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2016
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  6. Dick Fitzwell

    Dick Fitzwell Opinions are like assholes ... and so am I

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    I'm screwed
     
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  7. SlipperyVic

    SlipperyVic In Gord We Trust Gold

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    There's a devil in my dick and demon's in my semen.
     
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  8. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    The first time the Devil made me do it. The second time I did it on my on.
     
  9. Brokenbad

    Brokenbad Well-Known Member

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    I talk in tongues.....haahaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
     
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  10. AmishGirl

    AmishGirl Well-Known Member VIP

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  11. Just Me

    Just Me VIP Extreme Gold

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    Is there any pleasure known to man that religion can't ruin?
     
  12. FishySausage

    FishySausage Original Nuttah VIP Gold

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    The devil's in my huevos?
     
  13. minorsalazar

    minorsalazar Well-Known Member

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    Bull shit. ....it's called "imagination".
     
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  14. Pill Queen

    Pill Queen Elegantly wasted VIP

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    Let the demons descend upon me!
     
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  15. AmishGirl

    AmishGirl Well-Known Member VIP

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  16. Dorb

    Dorb Lovable Old Pig VIP

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    YEAH! I want one of these sex demons PLEASE!!!
    image.jpeg
     
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  17. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun.

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  18. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun.

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    Check please.
     
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  19. Ben Dover

    Ben Dover Well-Known Member

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    We should listen more to Fappy, the anti-masturbation dolphin

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  20. GLguygardner

    GLguygardner "I break bread, ribs, hundred dollar bills..."

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    [​IMG]
    @ARM
     
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