WTF Caution: masturbation may summon sex demons

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MilkyDischarge, Mar 6, 2016.

  1. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Proud Schtick POTY 2016 Gold

    Reputations:
    116,851
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    10,566
    Likes Received:
    19,030
    image.jpeg Masturbation Opens Spiritual Portals
    In the world of the spirit and according to Jesus Christ: the sexual thought is the same as the sexual act (Matthew 5:28).

    When we use the powerful force of imaging something as if it were real, we are actually attracting that which we image into physical being.

    When we imagine having sex with another via masturbation, we are actually summoning the power of the spirit realm to manifest the thing we are imagining.

    We've all heard about the law of attraction by now, made popular from books and movies like The Secret. Well the law of attraction also works with sexual imaginings.

    There are such things as sex demons. And the danger in masturbating is that one could inadvertently summon a sex demon to attach itself to you through the act of masturbating. And once that demon attaches, it is difficult to get it to leave. It will drive you to masturbate, even when you don't want to. You'll be hit with urges to play with yourself so powerful that only an orgasm will allow you some temporary relief.

    In worst case scenarios the one demon may gather other unclean spirits to itself to also attach to your life. That way it can wrap you tighter in its web of control, making it that much more difficult for you to get free. And many never do (Matthew 12:43-45).

    By engaging in those acts of sexual impurity you are giving such evil spirits legal access into your life. And they will remain, causing untold personal pain, guilt and shame until the more powerful force of Jesus Christ is used against them to expel them from your life for good—See: Luke 8:29, Luke 9:39 and verse 42; Galatians 5:19-21; 2nd Corinthians 6:17-18
     
    Mike Huntslooce and LaserT like this.
  2. The Booey

    The Booey Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    133,708
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    12,577
    Likes Received:
    24,396
    God, I hope so!
     
  3. chapped

    chapped Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    379,478
    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2012
    Messages:
    55,631
    Likes Received:
    61,910
    wow... there is a tombstone in my backyard.. and ghost downstairs
    so joke is on the demons
     
  4. The Booey

    The Booey Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    133,708
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    12,577
    Likes Received:
    24,396
    Amanda Donohoe in Lair of the White Worm

    [​IMG]
     
  5. XXXXX

    XXXXX Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    72,694
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2014
    Messages:
    4,176
    Likes Received:
    12,249
    Is January Jones a sex demon?

    image.jpeg

    If so, i might be in trouble - big trouble...
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2016
    RONNIE THE CLAW likes this.
  6. Dick Fitzwell

    Dick Fitzwell Opinions are like assholes ... and so am I

    Reputations:
    109,517
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    6,348
    Likes Received:
    14,270
    I'm screwed
     
    RONNIE THE CLAW likes this.
  7. SlipperyVic

    SlipperyVic In Gord We Trust Gold

    Reputations:
    103,977
    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2015
    Messages:
    2,928
    Likes Received:
    8,686
    There's a devil in my dick and demon's in my semen.
     
    FishySausage, icypussy and mrd160 like this.
  8. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    348,896
    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2012
    Messages:
    14,123
    Likes Received:
    42,225
    The first time the Devil made me do it. The second time I did it on my on.
     
  9. Brokenbad

    Brokenbad Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    26,990
    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2012
    Messages:
    5,409
    Likes Received:
    4,975
    I talk in tongues.....haahaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
     
    MilkyDischarge likes this.
  10. AmishGirl

    AmishGirl Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    152,306
    Joined:
    May 12, 2012
    Messages:
    24,731
    Likes Received:
    21,491
  11. Just Me

    Just Me VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    41,206
    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2012
    Messages:
    4,617
    Likes Received:
    6,620
    Is there any pleasure known to man that religion can't ruin?
     
  12. FishySausage

    FishySausage Original Nuttah VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    172,396
    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2010
    Messages:
    14,109
    Likes Received:
    24,424
    The devil's in my huevos?
     
  13. minorsalazar

    minorsalazar Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    -3,061
    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2013
    Messages:
    232
    Likes Received:
    263
    Bull shit. ....it's called "imagination".
     
    Mike Huntslooce and rogmar like this.
  14. Pill Queen

    Pill Queen Elegantly wasted VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    177,123
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2014
    Messages:
    8,942
    Likes Received:
    11,868
    Let the demons descend upon me!
     
    babybear likes this.
  15. AmishGirl

    AmishGirl Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    152,306
    Joined:
    May 12, 2012
    Messages:
    24,731
    Likes Received:
    21,491
  16. Dorb

    Dorb Lovable Old Pig DawgShed News VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    275,425
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2012
    Messages:
    24,137
    Likes Received:
    25,076
    YEAH! I want one of these sex demons PLEASE!!!
    image.jpeg
     
    XXXXX, MilkyDischarge, Logan and 3 others like this.
  17. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun.

    Reputations:
    339,949
    Joined:
    May 3, 2013
    Messages:
    20,112
    Likes Received:
    37,148
  18. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun.

    Reputations:
    339,949
    Joined:
    May 3, 2013
    Messages:
    20,112
    Likes Received:
    37,148
    Check please.
     
    Shortwave98 and Dorb like this.
  19. Ben Dover

    Ben Dover Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    49,561
    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2012
    Messages:
    7,232
    Likes Received:
    9,092
    We should listen more to Fappy, the anti-masturbation dolphin

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  20. GLguygardner

    GLguygardner THOT VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    237,990
    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2010
    Messages:
    13,676
    Likes Received:
    30,718
    [​IMG]
    @ARM
     
    Dorb likes this.