Charlie Sheen - Not Winning

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Doug Masters, Apr 2, 2011.

  1. Doug Masters

    Doug Masters ok

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  2. low selfestitle

    low selfestitle Moderator Staff Member

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    Is it too late to get a refund on your shirt? Has it shipped yet?
     
  3. Doug Masters

    Doug Masters ok

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    hasn't even been shipped :sad:
     
  4. low selfestitle

    low selfestitle Moderator Staff Member

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    That's good from a refund perspective.

    I have many freshly laundered shirts here. You may have one. :hat:
     
  5. Doug Masters

    Doug Masters ok

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    :giggle:


    :hat:
     
  6. low selfestitle

    low selfestitle Moderator Staff Member

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    A sample of my T-shirt catalogue:

    "World's Greatest Dad"

    "Duff's Famous Wings - Toronto"

    "Great Wolf Lodge"

    "I rode the Great Canadian Mindbuster"

    "Six Nations Environmental Management Department"

    "R.E.M. Green World Tour 1998"

    Assorted solid-coloured shirts.
     
  7. Doug Masters

    Doug Masters ok

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  8. low selfestitle

    low selfestitle Moderator Staff Member

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    Any tweets about Laundrapalooza?
     
  9. low selfestitle

    low selfestitle Moderator Staff Member

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    Nice play-by-play here:

    8:58 — Film clips are playing onscreen. Die Hard, Midnight Express, Taxi Driver, Animal House, Sheen’s own Platoon, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, and (of course) Apocalypse Now. There’s no context, just the violent clips. One imagines it’s like being inside Sheen’s fever dream and the experience is taking on a Clockwork Orange quality.

    9:00 — Two goddesses are now making out onstage. And finally, Charlie Sheen returns. He holds up a sports shirt of the style that’s worn by his Two and a Half Men character and puts it on. The audience gamely boos. The Two and a Half Men theme song plays and is intercut with a scene from a classic film of a man screaming “Turn it off!” Then, Sheen grabs a Detroit Tigers shirt instead. The crowd roars and gives him a standing ovation. Regarding the Men shirt, Sheen says, “Take that out and burn it.” On video, the girls burn the shirt backstage.

    9:07 — Sheen steps behind a presidential-style podium that proclaims “Warlock States of Sheen.” Guitarist Robert Pattinson is playing onstage. Sheen begins a lengthy speech in his newfound semi-coherent metaphor-stuffed neo-Hunter S. Thompson style, talking about his “napalm dripping brain.” “I’m here to solve a portion of this grand mystery,” he says.

    9:08 — Sheen: “I am finally here to identify and train the Vatican assassin locked inside each and every one of you.”

    9:10 — Sheen’s promises are largely incomprehensible, though at least seem intentionally so: “Freedom from monkey eyed…sweat-eating whores. Freedom from the dour and sour taste of malignant reproach… I’m a giant and leaky bag of mayhem.”

    9:13 – Sheen: “They took my awesome children… They took my sometimes bitchin job… And when they thought there was nothing left, they tried to take my titanium heart and brain and spine. But they could not.” Audience growing restless. This show is all pump-up, no narrative.

    9:15 — OK, nobody understands a word Sheen is saying. “”Is anybody else as confused by this s— as I am?” he finally asks. There are roars from the crowd. “I wrote every word!” Later, a cab driver tells me that it’s about this time that angry fans began walking out of the theatre.

    9:18 – “Nothing terrifies a troll more than its own reflection,” Sheen continues, before shifting gears into politics. “In a recent poll, they told me I’d bring down that whore [Sarah] Palin. I don’t have time for that nonsense.” [Read about the poll he's referring to here.]

    9:20 — People start booing Sheen. Not playing around, but actually booing him. Sheen yells, “I already got your money, dude!”

    9:23 — We are watching video of Charlie Sheen playing Call of Duty.

    9:35 — The show has become a padded and disjointed mess. Sheen plays an old movie he says is called RPG but the audience gets frustrated and starts booing. Sheen stops the video and says, “Okay, so RPG was a bomb. Tonight is an experiment.”

    9:40 — Sheen says he’s going to “Tell some stories about crack. I figured Detroit was a good place to tell some crack stories.” This comment, not surprisingly, does not go over well. “Show of hands who here has tried crack?” Very few people raise their hand. “I don’t do crack anymore, but this is a good f—ing night to do some crack.” The audience boos.

    9:43 — Sheen tells the audience, “You paid your hard-earned money without knowing what this show was about.” He asks if people have any questions. A girl from the audience asks for his best pornstar story. Sheen doesn’t want to tell that one. He’s starts telling a story about getting his car stolen — he says the story involves crack — but nobody wants to hear it.

    9:50 — The show appears to be almost over. More padding. He plays a video that intercuts his 20/20 interview with new footage. It’s amusing at first, but drags on too long.

    10:03 — The show is now an unmitigated disaster. People are leaving early. Attendee Chris Acchione, a self-described Sheen fan who traveled all the way from Toronto for the show, says his entire row walked out early. “He’s making a fool of himself,” he says. “Is there a bigger loser in the world? He’ll be [begging] Chuck Lorre for his job back by the end of the week.”

    10:05 — Sheen is composing a live tweet. More comments from people leaving early: “I was expecting a comedy show.” “It’s just like hanging out at his house,” says a man wearing an “I Believe in Tiger Blood” T-shirt.

    10:20 — Sheen plays the track he recorded with Snopp Dogg. But Snoop, despite promises, is a no-show (he was actually back in Los Angeles, performing live on stage at Nickelodeon’s Kids Choice Awards). Curtain closes. Fans angry.
     
  10. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    awesome rundown, LSE. i'll have to read that when sober. :D
     
  11. PullMyFinger

    PullMyFinger Hors d'oeuvre Addict VIP

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    They played some clips of it on the Today show this morning. You couldn't listen for two seconds without hearing someone yelling "You suck!" from the audience. I was kind of surprised the audience wasn't expecting a crappy show. Sheen had said when he announced it that he wasn't hiring a single writer for it. Who does a 90 minute or so comedy show without hiring a single writer?
     
  12. BleedingGums

    BleedingGums Fesh Fox Faggot VIP

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  13. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

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    I don't remember anyone saying that this was supposed to be a comedy show. :dontknow:
     
  14. nazdrowie

    nazdrowie Sultan of Sweat Gold

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    wow :facepalm:

     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 23, 2014
  15. ChuckZ

    ChuckZ You're so pusillanimous, oh yea.

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    RealGilbert Gilbert Gottfried
    Charlie Sheen was booed off stage. Well of course. They wanted #CharlieSheen and not some guy who's stoned and crazy.
     
  16. Partyxanimal

    Partyxanimal Well-Known Member

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    The one dude yelling "You're Fucking Boring" :jj:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 23, 2014